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Old 06-28-2015, 11:25 PM
 
41 posts, read 25,008 times
Reputation: 12

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So, my ex girlfriend and i were dating for over 3 years. I lost her trust, but we've been back and forth, broken up and together again a few times. The past couple of months, its been back and forth. We broke up a month ago. Still were hanging out and seeing each other. Today we spoke and she said she just wants to be friends for now because she still can't trust me. She said she needs me because she loves me and cares about me. She can't just forget about me. I obviously want to be in a relationship, but she can't bc of the trust issues. She has said that she's trying to make us both happy for now by remaining friends, but we have tried taking it slow, being together but not in a relationship, so idk what to do at this point. I have done everything in my power to prove my trust but she can't get over the past. Should i cut everything off completely, or remain just friends for now?
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Old 06-29-2015, 12:31 AM
 
4,078 posts, read 5,415,462 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robinson22 View Post
So, my ex girlfriend and i were dating for over 3 years. I lost her trust, but we've been back and forth, broken up and together again a few times. The past couple of months, its been back and forth. We broke up a month ago. Still were hanging out and seeing each other. Today we spoke and she said she just wants to be friends for now because she still can't trust me. She said she needs me because she loves me and cares about me. She can't just forget about me. I obviously want to be in a relationship, but she can't bc of the trust issues. She has said that she's trying to make us both happy for now by remaining friends, but we have tried taking it slow, being together but not in a relationship, so idk what to do at this point. I have done everything in my power to prove my trust but she can't get over the past. Should i cut everything off completely, or remain just friends for now?
Remaining friends for now is just prolonging the inevitable.

Once trust is not there, it's pretty hard to gain back.
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Old 06-29-2015, 02:58 AM
 
2,013 posts, read 1,608,094 times
Reputation: 2741
Yikes. What did you do?

I agree with the above. You broke her trust and that's not something that is easily repaired.

You have two choices. Either ride it out and see if things improve, or move on. If you choose the first option, you are going to have to be patient.
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Old 06-29-2015, 04:57 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,395 posts, read 24,452,731 times
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I think you should break up completely. You will both be much happier if you leave the drama behind. Right now it sounds like she enjoys punishing you for your infidelity. She's stuck, too.
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Old 06-29-2015, 06:29 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,960 posts, read 17,342,198 times
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A tumultuous on & off relationship is a good indication that two people dont belong together.
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Old 06-29-2015, 06:39 AM
 
41 posts, read 25,008 times
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Before we started dating, i flirted with this girl on Facebook that was a friend in my group of friends. A couple months later, she had a party at her house with all my of my friends invited, which i why i went, but i lied to my girlfriend about it and didn't tell her I was going. This girl has a flirty personality and she made my girlfriend uncomfortable. But fact is i broke her trust bc I lied to her. So, it seemed sketchy to her. Yeah we've been back and forth so many times, right now, I feel like she doesn't want to lose me, she wants me to be there for her still, but can't trust me, therefore can't be in a relationship. Maybe if i let her go, shell have time to think about it, and she can learn to trust me?
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Old 06-29-2015, 06:40 AM
 
1,198 posts, read 1,179,996 times
Reputation: 1530
Quote:
Originally Posted by kat949 View Post
Remaining friends for now is just prolonging the inevitable.

Once trust is not there, it's pretty hard to gain back.
This is so true^
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Old 06-29-2015, 07:11 AM
 
1,178 posts, read 1,360,784 times
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The party you went to which your FB Flirty Female gave is strange to me. What motivation did you have for going? What did you expect to happen? What did end up happening? These are questions that I would have in my head if I was in your gf's shoes. Also, the biggest one.....if you are capable about lying about that, what else have you possibly lied about?

Sorry, I wouldn't want to be in a serious relationship with you either.
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Old 06-29-2015, 08:28 AM
 
41 posts, read 25,008 times
Reputation: 12
I wanted to hangout with my friends, plain and simple, but I didn't think about her feelings. But, I changed and wherever this girl went, I wouldn't be. I get it that once trust is broken, its hard to get back, but when I flirted with her, she didn't even want to date me at the time. Ive done everything and even told this girl that i was done being friends with her. She said its easy to trust me most days, but painfully hard other days. She loves the love we share for one another, but sometimes its too much bc she thinks about the past and can't get it out of her head. I really want to be with her, but idk if theres any hope. Maybe it is better if we move on.
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Old 06-29-2015, 09:35 AM
 
348 posts, read 372,376 times
Reputation: 520
Of course you should have been truthful but the sin started with her - she set you up for failure to fulfill her prophecy to confirm her insecurity via irrational distrust. Find a woman that will trust you and once it's over it's over - the on again/off again stuff is a killer.
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