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I have been in a relationship for over 3 years. I broke up (only 2 weeks ago) because i didn't trust him anymore : i found out about a lot of lies and sneaky relationships behind my back with several women the year before but was too afraid to break up due to the fear of being abandoned. We kept going but it already resulted in a complete love-less disconnection from my part.
During the ENTIRE relationship i always felt a connection with one of his friends, Peter (who's also his classmate). We have the same humor, interests and there's definitely chemistry and sexual attraction there. At one point I had even told my (ex) bf about this. Honesty and communication is important and i was seriously confused and hated the feelings that i had. He didnt really think much of it and we never spoke again about the subject, which left me feeling confused. As months past by, his friends became my friends as well. And we hung out as a group regularly.
After my findings of his sneaky affaire, my feelings for our friend, Peter, quickly started to grow. Everytime I saw him, i could sense the attraction growing bigger. It was torture, clearly i couldn't speak to my (ex)bf anymore about this because he wouldn't take me seriously. The feelings of attraction started to change into being crazy in love. I could see us being together and longed for it. I tried to keep my feelings hidden from Peter, but i think he noticed. He started to notice me a lot more too. I occasionally caught him staring at me and he tried to involve me in conversations if i didn't talk for a while. But to this day, i don't know his true feelings for me and it was always inappropriate to ask.
Now, i'm still really sad about the break up but feel it was the best decision. Needless to say, i can now finally figure out my feelings for Peter and whether they are mutual. I don't want to rush things, but i'm scared my ex will take my friends away from me, making Peter unreachable. I have to move quick, but i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
They are no longer classmates and their friendship is slowly thinning. Also, Peter is a couple years younger than my ex and i feel like Peter sees him as his senior sometimes. I'm scared he will reject me, not for not having feelings, but in fear of what my ex would say..
My question is not 'SHOULD i do it?' , but 'HOW should i do this?'.
I can't keep these feelings in anymore, they are very serious. And i could realistically see this work between me and Peter for the long haul.
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