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Did you miss the vibe part? As in the vibe between a bf and gf. I think of that as chemistry.
Its hard to explain.
It's not because I have actually experienced long term relationships and understand that they can't be reduced to a list of ideals, which you haven't seemed to figure out.
IDK, I don't really believe in relationship recipes ("Just add water!"), and there is a lot more to compatibility than being similar and not having too many "issues". When two imperfect people come together, they're bound to bring some baggage with them, and the successful couples are the ones who are able to create something good out of that whole mess. With that in mind, I think #1 and #2 can go right out the window. Number 3, however, needs to be objectively examined by the potential couple.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrion Grey
1) Personalities need to be compatible
If there is something(s) your SO does that regularly annoys you than you guys are probably not compatible.
2) Similar life views (religion etc), goals, and interests
3) No major red flags
- Anger / Abuse Issues
- Controlling Issues
- Trust Issues (if they have cheated in the past, secretive suspicious behavior, flirty to random ppl, etc)
- Alcohol / Drug Issues
- Financial Issues (irresponsible with money, unemployed, no real plan for financial security, etc)
- Jealousy Issues (we can all be jealous, some people simply make it an issue or problem when it shouldnt be)
- Clingy / Needy Issues
Amazing how so many of these things are ignored or compromised in relationships.
Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 07-01-2015 at 08:26 AM..
It's not because I have actually experienced long term relationships and understand that they can't be reduced to a list of ideals, which you haven't seemed to figure out.
It most certainly can.
Unless of course you want to point out something on my list that most women would not want in a partner.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrion Grey
1) Personalities need to be compatible
If there is something(s) your SO does that regularly annoys you than you guys are probably not compatible.
2) Similar life views (religion etc), goals, and interests
3) No major red flags
- Anger / Abuse Issues
- Controlling Issues
- Trust Issues (if they have cheated in the past, secretive suspicious behavior, flirty to random ppl, etc)
- Alcohol / Drug Issues
- Financial Issues (irresponsible with money, unemployed, no real plan for financial security, etc)
- Jealousy Issues (we can all be jealous, some people simply make it an issue or problem when it shouldnt be)
- Clingy / Needy Issues
Amazing how so many of these things are ignored or compromised in relationships.
You can check all these boxes and nothing will be there for a relationship to occur.
And you can not have some of these and still have a great LTR.
These are no what makes a relationship. And compromise is completely necessary for a LTR.
I would have to say that based on the OP's original post, that the two of you would not be able to have a successful LTR as you both seem to have the need to prove yourself right while proving the other one wrong.
(I happen to think the OP's post is a very good one--or should I say "a very good one for me"! Also, I do not have the need to set someone straight who is trying to help other people while using his or her own experiences.)
I would have to say that based on the OP's original post, that the two of you would not be able to have a successful LTR as you both seem to have the need to prove yourself right while proving the other one wrong.
(I happen to think the OP's post is a very good one--or should I say "a very good one for me"! Also, I do not have the need to set someone straight who is trying to help other people while using his or her own experiences.)
Nice to see there is indeed some sensible ppl on this forum.
So, taking you for example, which one of my points is not ideal for you? What is your rational behind it?
I am addressing your points in general - not me specifically. However I know many people in perfectly fine relationships who have massively different religions or political views - or none at all. And for me certainly the religion - or lack of it - or the political position - or lack of it - in my partners is hardly relevant at all.
And as I said just because someone cheated in the past does not mean they will again. Nor is monogamy the "ideal" for many people who are in open relationships or into swinging ect.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrion Grey
As I pointed out this is an "ideal" list.
And as I pointed out - you speak for yourself. Just because it is your ideal - does not mean it is anyone elses.
I am addressing your points in general - not me specifically. However I know many people in perfectly fine relationships who have massively different religions or political views - or none at all. And for me certainly the religion - or lack of it - or the political position - or lack of it - in my partners is hardly relevant at all.
Your missing the point. This is an ideal list.
For example, if you are an atheist and your SO is a Christian. A problem can arise in the raising of a child in regards to what one parents expects or wants. ie Potential problem.
Of course people can be perfectly fine with different life views. But one can eliminate that type of issue with both sharing the same life views.
Ideal remember.
Unless of course you want to argue its more ideal to have different life views. Go ahead.
Quote:
And as I said just because someone cheated in the past does not mean they will again. Nor is monogamy the "ideal" for many people who are in open relationships or into swinging ect.
No where did I claim such. Again this is ideal. Most people I am sure will tell you they would prefer a partner that has always been faithful.
Quote:
And as I pointed out - you speak for yourself. Just because it is your ideal - does not mean it is anyone elses.
Well, I am waiting for someone to try to argue against one of my points. Hasnt happen yet.
Well, I am waiting for someone to try to argue against one of my points. Hasnt happen yet.
We have, you just disagree and have called the only person who agrees with you the only "sensible person" on the forum. So it's really not even worth it to discuss with you, because you refuse to see others' points.
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