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How are people still doing it? If you are single you are more lucky sometimes than committing yourself to another person. I read that there are more people happier married than single. That is not always true in the case. A couple of things, do people realize that the economy and job market is not fully grown? Companies still lay off people and only hire them for stint work or if they hire someone if it is perminantly, the position is not gauranteed forever. Companies constantly change their economic positions in order to stay in business. And they absolutely don't care if you get laid off or something and you go crying to them that you have a family to support (example: just got married or have a kid). Next with college loans after college. People go to school and have to pay back student loans. You borrowed the money it means the government expects the money back. How do people figure in costs for living plus having to pay back all that student loan? Then you have kids and there are articles and research right now that raising a kid costs between 200 and 300K before they turn 18. Plus if you loose your job and your spouse works but income isnt big enough to pay all the bills what do you do? Because I have seen couples buy houses where it is mandatory that both couples work in order to pay the mortgage plus living expenses. Then you got the spouse nagging once in a while. Marriage can still be hell for couples. Sometimes costs of living and other things can override that love nest especially with couples getting married today. They don't know what the road ahead can lead to. Especially with our economy. Things are not going to get cheaper. Prices on everything is going up and will keep continually be on the rise that it will be almost impossible to get married far into the future. Way before that couple walks into church or where ever they have their wedding ceremony, do they come up with some game plan of how they are going to live financially?? Because that is the MAJOR!!!! THING!!! you have to be ready for before you get yourself involved with another person. Survival is more important
than love. People should really think about this.
Last edited by promediacam15; 07-05-2015 at 07:34 AM..
How are people still doing it? If you are single you are more lucky sometimes than committing yourself to another person. I read that there are more people happier married than single. That is not always true in the case. A couple of things, do people realize that the economy and job market is not fully grown? Companies still lay off people and only hire them for stint work or if they hire someone if it is perminantly, the position is not gauranteed forever. Companies constantly change their economic positions in order to stay in business. And they absolutely don't care if you get laid off or something and you go crying to them that you have a family to support (example: just got married or have a kid). Next with college loans after college. People go to school and have to pay back student loans. You borrowed the money it means the government expects the money back. How do people figure in costs for living plus having to pay back all that student loan? Then you have kids and there are articles and research right now that raising a kid costs between 200 and 300K before they turn 18. Plus if you loose your job and your spouse works but income isnt big enough to pay all the bills what do you do? Because I have seen couples buy houses where it is mandatory that both couples work in order to pay the mortgage plus living expenses. Then you got the spouse nagging once in a while. Marriage can still be hell for couples. Sometimes costs of living and other things can override that love nest especially with couples getting married today. They don't know what the road ahead can lead to. Especially with our economy. Things are not going to get cheaper. Prices on everything is going up and will keep continually be on the rise that it will be almost impossible to get married far into the future. Way before that couple walks into church or where ever they have their wedding ceremony, do they come up with some game plan of how they are going to live financially?? Because that is the MAJOR!!!! THING!!! you have to be ready for before you get yourself involved with another person. Survival is more important
than love. People should really think about this.
If I was single and forced to live off of one income I'd be out on the street homeless somewhere. Sometimes it is just that simple.
Well then, OP, stay single. This is America and you are not forced to marry anyone unless you choose to.
Every generation has had their share of issues--financial and other things. It didn't stop people from getting married if they met and fell in love and it is not going to stop people from falling in love and getting married now. Your post, although well intentioned, is not going to be this huge wake up call to people to not get married until they have this boatload full of money saved up first or win the lottery. It just doesn't work that way.
If I was single and forced to live off of one income I'd be out on the street homeless somewhere. Sometimes it is just that simple.
Could be true. In fact one of my neighbors moved away a few months ago. They were a young couple married 4 years. They were renting a home 2 houses down from me in order to save for a new home. The husband was some sales guy and his wife a nurse. They have a 3 year old son. He lost his job during the winter because the company was cutting back on costs and sales were really bad. He was forced to move into his wife's parents house and he said that expenses were tight even with 2 incomes. He said that kids are the big expense. That is why you never know with couples getting married today, do they have a game plan set in case of a situation happening like my old neighbors had?
Well then, OP, stay single. This is America and you are not forced to marry anyone unless you choose to.
Every generation has had their share of issues--financial and other things. It didn't stop people from getting married if they met and fell in love and it is not going to stop people from falling in love and getting married now. Your post, although well intentioned, is not going to be this huge wake up call to people to not get married until they have this boatload full of money saved up first or win the lottery. It just doesn't work that way.
Well I know that. But are people prepared for if they hit a fork in the road in the future? Because none of us know what the future holds. Things with the economy isnt getting any better. You never know, you can walk into work one day and your company has a company wide meeting informing that the company is bought out or they have low sales for the year and that impacts the persons job. Then what do you do? It is a scary thing especially if you are married these days and couples getting married. They need that game plan in place in the event a situation occurs like that. Game plan is more important than love when you are committing yourself to another person and vice versa. Not just I do and love you.
Last edited by promediacam15; 07-05-2015 at 08:00 AM..
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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My mother who is in her 60s just got married. If anything, it opens up financial security for both of them. Now me myself personally, I wouldn't marry if there was a loaded gun pointed at me.
How are people still doing it? If you are single you are more lucky sometimes than committing yourself to another person. I read that there are more people happier married than single. That is not always true in the case.
If your life is what you want it to be single and you have nobody in your life you desire to marry, of course it makes no sense to get married.
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A couple of things, do people realize that the economy and job market is not fully grown? Companies still lay off people and only hire them for stint work or if they hire someone if it is perminantly, the position is not gauranteed forever. Companies constantly change their economic positions in order to stay in business. And they absolutely don't care if you get laid off or something and you go crying to them that you have a family to support (example: just got married or have a kid).
Job market woes affect single people just as they do married people. If you are single and lose your job, that puts you in the position of having zero household income at least temporarily. If you are married/with someone and you lose your job, there is at least a chance that there is still some household income, unless that person has lost their job as well.
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Next with college loans after college. People go to school and have to pay back student loans. You borrowed the money it means the government expects the money back. How do people figure in costs for living plus having to pay back all that student loan?
1. Not everyone has student loans.
2. Not everyone still has student loans they are paying down by the time they get married.
3. Part of the reason for an upward trend in marrying later is to gain firmer financial footing - getting married after one has established a firm financial footing is important to many who choose to marry.
4. Single people who have student loans also have to figure in cost of living plus having to pay back student loans. Savvy borrowers and savers do it all the time.
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Then you have kids and there are articles and research right now that raising a kid costs between 200 and 300K before they turn 18. Plus if you loose your job and your spouse works but income isnt big enough to pay all the bills what do you do? Because I have seen couples buy houses where it is mandatory that both couples work in order to pay the mortgage plus living expenses.
1. Not everyone has kids.
2. Not everyone chooses to have kids they can't afford.
3. You make financial choices that fit your lifestyle, wants, and needs. You don't buy houses you can't really afford, you don't live in places you can't really afford.
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Then you got the spouse nagging once in a while. Marriage can still be hell for couples.
Interacting with ANYone can present challenges. When you interact with others, you will always have situations of conflict and compromise, because no two people always agree. This is the case whether or not one ever marries. Healthy relationships aren't hell. All relationships come with occasional struggles, and all marriages hit difficult times. My parents' marriage is one of the best I know, and they still have dealt with the stresses of illness, unforeseen expenses to deal with, employment issues, death of loved ones, caring for elderly disabled relatives, etc., and these are all stresses on marriages and relationships. But they're also a part of life, and meeting those challenges with a committed partner by your side to help support and navigate is actually an asset.
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Sometimes costs of living and other things can override that love nest especially with couples getting married today. They don't know what the road ahead can lead to. Especially with our economy. Things are not going to get cheaper. Prices on everything is going up and will keep continually be on the rise that it will be almost impossible to get married far into the future. Way before that couple walks into church or where ever they have their wedding ceremony, do they come up with some game plan of how they are going to live financially?? Because that is the MAJOR!!!! THING!!! you have to be ready for before you get yourself involved with another person. Survival is more important
than love. People should really think about this.
I'm not sure why there seems to be an assumption that nobody DOES, in fact, think about these things prior to marriage. It's pretty basic. If you DON'T have a solid understanding of one another's values and priorities, including those that are financial, and determine compatibility in this area and others, you are indeed courting big problems. This is common sense, not groundbreaking in the least. Again, one reason for an upward trend in marriage age and age of family starting is an increased desire to first get one's financial ducks in a row prior to making life-altering commitments.
Your questions seem to largely be basic personal finance ones that everyone deals with, married or not. Can I afford my chosen lifestyle? If not, what do I do? Adjust my lifestyle, or adjust my income? This is the case single or not single. Working with a spouse to address these challenges and build a life together can be very beneficial, if you plan well/are with the right spouse. A spouse that doesn't/won't work with you on these things, or who pushes for lifestyle choices that don't fit your financial situation or wants or needs is not beneficial, no. That's not an issue of marriage being good or bad, though. That's an issue of selecting the wrong partner for yourself.
Your stance seems to be that life comes with uncertainty (mainly, from your point of view, apparently, from an employment/financial standpoint), so why get married when there is uncertainty in life? There is always uncertainty in life. Some people would rather meet that reality with a spouse. Not getting married doesn't make the uncertainties of life evaporate, in any case. I get that you are coming from a perspective that if you fly solo, you have only yourself to worry about when the sky comes crashing down. Which may (or may not) be true. The fact remains that others would rather weather those exact same uncertainties of life that will always be there, regardless, with a committed, compatible partner.
My mother who is in her 60s just got married. If anything, it opens up financial security for both of them. Now me myself personally, I wouldn't marry if there was a loaded gun pointed at me.
If you mom prepared for it. Because financial security is not always true. 2 people living together means more expenses.
There is only so much you can plan and micromanage. You take it one year at a time, one calamity at a time, making the wisest choices you can along the line. If you are both on the same page (and stay on the same page), then you go through that journey together, and those shared experiences are what bond you to one another.
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Originally Posted by promediacam15
Well I know that. But are people prepared for if they hit a fork in the road in the future? Because none of us know what the future holds. Things with the economy isnt getting any better. You never know, you can walk into work one day and your company has a company wide meeting informing that the company is bought out or they have low sales for the year and that impacts the persons job. Then what do you do? It is a scary thing especially if you are married these days and couples getting married. They need that game plan in place in the event a situation occurs like that. Game plan is more important than love when you are committing yourself to another person and vice versa. Not just I do and love you.
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