A part of me feels i will never meet the right person (how to, girl)
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If you can't handle that kind of independence, get counseling, before you end up making the same mistakes over and over again, and make a real mess of your life.
I know this is sort of the popular solution nowadys; get therapy. But since when are life's lessons learned on a counselor's couch? Isn't getting out there and making mistakes and learning from those mistakes the way we all learn? I mean sure, we could read a book or get advice from a therapist but that's not going to give us the real life experience we need to affirm what's best for each of us.
Life is messy, we're going to get dirty, we're going to have ups and downs, failed relationships, shattered expectations, missed opportunities and so on and so on. Only through experiencing all of that will we understand who we are. No one can prepare us for all we face in life. There's no handbook, there's no secret answers.
I know this is sort of the popular solution nowadys; get therapy. But since when are life's lessons learned on a counselor's couch? Isn't getting out there and making mistakes and learning from those mistakes the way we all learn? I mean sure, we could read a book or get advice from a therapist but that's not going to give us the real life experience we need to affirm what's best for each of us.
Life is messy, we're going to get dirty, we're going to have ups and downs, failed relationships, shattered expectations, missed opportunities and so on and so on. Only through experiencing all of that will we understand who we are. No one can prepare us for all we face in life. There's no handbook, there's no secret answers.
She's already been there and done that. She's made a ton of mistakes, and feels stuck. She's also feeling desperate. The kind of low self-esteem she's showing does tend to need counseling to overcome. At least she has enough insight to see the mistakes she's made, but emotionally, she hasn't progressed. She's still in the same space emotionally. If she's seeking help from strangers, she'd be better off seeking help from a trained professional.
She's already been there and done that. She's made a ton of mistakes, and feels stuck. She's also feeling desperate. The kind of low self-esteem she's showing does tend to need counseling to overcome. At least she has enough insight to see the mistakes she's made, but emotionally, she hasn't progressed. She's still in the same space emotionally. If she's seeking help from strangers, she'd be better off seeking help from a trained professional.
This.
I love how certain types of people still buy into the stigmas that existed about therapy from 30+ years ago.
Continuing to make mistakes without understanding why you make them is never going to help anyone.
Therapists offer an objective opinion about why someone might engage in such behaviors and how they can change those behaviors. Not sure why people don't understand that.
You need to work on your self esteem first and foremost before getting involved with another man. Others have given some great advice. All I will add is that once you learn to love yourself, then you will be ready to love someone else as well as expect and feel deserving of love which comes your way.
well hun, I am 30 and still in your boat....so you have time yet. I know that gets old to hear it because believe me I STILL hear it.... but I long to be 23 so I could have some do-overs!
well hun, I am 30 and still in your boat....so you have time yet. I know that gets old to hear it because believe me I STILL hear it.... but I long to be 23 so I could have some do-overs!
I am 42 and in that boat, which has sailed at this point. The difference is I'm not attractive unlike the OP.
She's already been there and done that. She's made a ton of mistakes, and feels stuck. She's also feeling desperate. The kind of low self-esteem she's showing does tend to need counseling to overcome. At least she has enough insight to see the mistakes she's made, but emotionally, she hasn't progressed. She's still in the same space emotionally. If she's seeking help from strangers, she'd be better off seeking help from a trained professional.
This is coddling and a disservice. Yet it's typical treatment of millenials. Society has told them that they should have everything figured out by now. Life should be a breeze. If you feel desperate or lost or scared or confused or lonely, something must be seriously wrong with you. Cuz it's not like everyone feels that way in their 20s. Right? That's not normal at all.
Emotionally she hasn't progressed? That's quite the diagnosis from someone who has read one post. What's next, a prescription for Effexor then perhaps a couple months of intensive inpatient therapy? Lol. Drug companies and therapists are making a crapload of money off this generation. We've created a generation of weak basket-cases. God help their children.
If we could fix ourselves we wouldn't need other people. Interpersonal relationships are required for self-growth and self-realization. Only through the eyes of other people can we see the things in ourselves that require change. You can't read a book and get that...as much as some people would like for it to be that easy.
Um, duh.
That's why I said "START here."
Practice doesn't make perfect if you're practicing incorrectly. OP needs to start at the core.
You need to take your generational pronouncements to the Politics and Other Controversies forum. Thanks for stopping by.
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