Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've been having a lot of anxiety lately thinking about how a lot of relationships don't work out or never really go anywhere. I never had a boyfriend in high school, but started talking to more boys in college.
I was a pretty naive girl. I fell for guys I shouldn't have. I chased after those who didn't give me full attention and strung me along. I wanted something to work out so badly, yet none of these guys wanted anything serious or didn't feel the same away about me. I know a large percentage of this is my fault. However, i still worry i will never attract or find a good person to be with.
Since I was 18 i've had 3 "together" type relationships. two lasted 3 months each and another one was off/on for about a year. We were off more than on. I've made out, talked to/hung out with a couple different guys over the years. I've had hookups/flings. I never had a typical boyfriend and i'm almost 23. All those little relationships weren't official or very serious (and long lasting obviously.)
I'm a very pretty girl (i don't mean to sound conceited) and i feel i have a lot of pressure on me at all times with regards to dating and who i'm with. I'm terrified i will never be with the right person. Or since i haven't had a normal/ordinary relationship yet, it's never going to happen.
I can't stop thinking about it. I'm starting to feel i will never be good enough for someone else and a good relationship will never be in the cards for me.
I can't stop thinking about it. I'm starting to feel i will never be good enough for someone else and a good relationship will never be in the cards for me.
This ^^ is a self-esteem problem, not a relationship problem.
I was a pretty naive girl. I fell for guys I shouldn't have. I chased after those who didn't give me full attention and strung me along. I wanted something to work out so badly, yet none of these guys wanted anything serious or didn't feel the same away about me. I know a large percentage of this is my fault. However, i still worry i will never attract or find a good person to be with.
Since I was 18 i've had 3 "together" type relationships. two lasted 3 months each and another one was off/on for about a year. We were off more than on. I've made out, talked to/hung out with a couple different guys over the years. I've had hookups/flings. I never had a typical boyfriend and i'm almost 23. All those little relationships weren't official or very serious (and long lasting obviously.)
Hun, this is stuff we've all been through. There is nothing wrong with you except that you're human. Hang in there. My daughter is 23 and she's about where you are and she is beautiful and wonderful, so this is normal.
And now do something my counselor recently asked me to do--write down everything about you that makes you a treasure (as he put it). At the top, put your top three best qualities and go from there. I put things like risk taker, care about people, sweet tempered, etc. Am I like this all the time? No but if I mostly am, it goes on the list. Also, look into the Law of Attraction--if you keep feeling like this, you will surely attract more of what you think about, which is nothing.
I've been having a lot of anxiety lately thinking about how a lot of relationships don't work out or never really go anywhere. I never had a boyfriend in high school, but started talking to more boys in college.
I was a pretty naive girl. I fell for guys I shouldn't have. I chased after those who didn't give me full attention and strung me along. I wanted something to work out so badly, yet none of these guys wanted anything serious or didn't feel the same away about me. I know a large percentage of this is my fault. However, i still worry i will never attract or find a good person to be with.
Since I was 18 i've had 3 "together" type relationships. two lasted 3 months each and another one was off/on for about a year. We were off more than on. I've made out, talked to/hung out with a couple different guys over the years. I've had hookups/flings. I never had a typical boyfriend and i'm almost 23. All those little relationships weren't official or very serious (and long lasting obviously.)
I'm a very pretty girl (i don't mean to sound conceited) and i feel i have a lot of pressure on me at all times with regards to dating and who i'm with. I'm terrified i will never be with the right person. Or since i haven't had a normal/ordinary relationship yet, it's never going to happen.
I can't stop thinking about it. I'm starting to feel i will never be good enough for someone else and a good relationship will never be in the cards for me.
You sound a lot like me when I was about 18. I'm the same age as you.
Although it's hard to believe, it's just your low self esteem and confidence talking to you. I used to want to be in a relationship so badly, to the point where I was anxious about never being with anyone, despite the fact that I had/have quite a bit of men that are/were interested in me.
I still get those twinges daily, but it's just a reminder that I need to work on my confidence and being comfortable with who I am as a person (I haven't achieved that just yet.) I know how you feel when you say you feel pressure when it comes to relationships. My family pesters me about it, and I get funny looks from people when they found out I have ZERO experience with dating or men.
You need to set a goal for yourself and set a path that your life will take. Have pride and confidence in that path, and the rest will follow. Do things that make you happy, contribute to society. I know it may not seem like it but relationships are not that serious, and they happen in their own time. Just go with the flow.
I've been having a lot of anxiety lately thinking about how a lot of relationships don't work out or never really go anywhere. I never had a boyfriend in high school, but started talking to more boys in college.
I was a pretty naive girl. I fell for guys I shouldn't have. I chased after those who didn't give me full attention and strung me along. I wanted something to work out so badly, yet none of these guys wanted anything serious or didn't feel the same away about me. I know a large percentage of this is my fault. However, i still worry i will never attract or find a good person to be with.
Since I was 18 i've had 3 "together" type relationships. two lasted 3 months each and another one was off/on for about a year. We were off more than on. I've made out, talked to/hung out with a couple different guys over the years. I've had hookups/flings. I never had a typical boyfriend and i'm almost 23. All those little relationships weren't official or very serious (and long lasting obviously.)
I'm a very pretty girl (i don't mean to sound conceited) and i feel i have a lot of pressure on me at all times with regards to dating and who i'm with. I'm terrified i will never be with the right person. Or since i haven't had a normal/ordinary relationship yet, it's never going to happen.
I can't stop thinking about it. I'm starting to feel i will never be good enough for someone else and a good relationship will never be in the cards for me.
I feel the same, but I'm older than you and at this point in my life, I've seen even the most non-dateable of my relatives and acquaintances happily pair up with people. I mean, people who have gone years without anything resembling a date suddenly meeting the love of their life. People who have spent years in prison and adults who have never had a job finding others who want to marry them. People who separate from their spouses, have a house full of young kids that they barely take care of, but yet they manage to find a new relationship immediately. But decades pass, and I am the only one I know who can't find one measly person to be happy with. Such is life.
good advice. OP the first thing you have to do is relax. stop pushing for a relationship, because when you push, you tend to push people away, and that starts a downward cycle, push people away, lose self esteem, push harder, push people away, lose self esteem, lather rinse repeat.
so when you relax, and let people come to you, and take your time dealing with potential future boyfriends. when you relax, you lose the pressure to perform, and the pressure to "get a boyfriend", and you lose the desperation as well.
If we could fix ourselves we wouldn't need other people. Interpersonal relationships are required for self-growth and self-realization. Only through the eyes of other people can we see the things in ourselves that require change. You can't read a book and get that...as much as some people would like for it to be that easy.
I can't stop thinking about it. I'm starting to feel i will never be good enough for someone else and a good relationship will never be in the cards for me.
I would focus on building your friendships and close family bonds. Use the experience you gain from those relationships and then think about focusing it on something of a more romantic nature. Be patient, you're young. You'll meet plenty of guys.
I've been having a lot of anxiety lately thinking about how a lot of relationships don't work out or never really go anywhere. I never had a boyfriend in high school, but started talking to more boys in college.
I was a pretty naive girl. I fell for guys I shouldn't have. I chased after those who didn't give me full attention and strung me along. I wanted something to work out so badly, yet none of these guys wanted anything serious or didn't feel the same away about me. I know a large percentage of this is my fault. However, i still worry i will never attract or find a good person to be with.
Since I was 18 i've had 3 "together" type relationships. two lasted 3 months each and another one was off/on for about a year. We were off more than on. I've made out, talked to/hung out with a couple different guys over the years. I've had hookups/flings. I never had a typical boyfriend and i'm almost 23. All those little relationships weren't official or very serious (and long lasting obviously.)
I'm a very pretty girl (i don't mean to sound conceited) and i feel i have a lot of pressure on me at all times with regards to dating and who i'm with. I'm terrified i will never be with the right person. Or since i haven't had a normal/ordinary relationship yet, it's never going to happen.
I can't stop thinking about it. I'm starting to feel i will never be good enough for someone else and a good relationship will never be in the cards for me.
Where is this pressure coming from? If it's in your mind, change your mind. If it's coming from your family, tell them to lay off.
Lose the desperation and become more independent. Stop throwing yourself at guys. It's ok to not be in a relationship at all while you look for a great guy to be with. Not being with someone doesn't mean you're some kind of failure. It''s normal for a lot of women to spend a year or two or three alone in-between relationships. Also, you'd be surprised how many women go through HS and college without having a bf. For some, it doesn't happen until after college.
If you can't handle that kind of independence, get counseling, before you end up making the same mistakes over and over again, and make a real mess of your life. Find meaning in life that doesn't depend on being with some guy. Develop hobbies and interests that you're passionate about. You might even consider going to grad school.
i feel i have a lot of pressure on me at all times with regards to dating and who i'm with. I'm terrified i will never be with the right person. Or since i haven't had a normal/ordinary relationship yet, it's never going to happen.
I can't stop thinking about it. I'm starting to feel i will never be good enough for someone else and a good relationship will never be in the cards for me.
And why is that? You need to answer those questions first. Then stop feeling pressured, relax, go out and enjoy company of others. Go out with friends, socialize, join groups, meet new people.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
