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WHo is talking about being a spouse? Where did I say that? Im talking about attraction and what men are attracted to. The thread is "Ignored by men my age" not "what is important when choosing a spouse".
I suppose it's possible I am hallucinating, but I believe you said it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
Initial attraction is physical ONLY and based in sexuality. 90 some % of men are able to tell if a woman would make a suitable spouse by simply looking at a womans picture.
Perhaps any woman in her 40"s that is being ingored by men her age in favor of younger women should ask those very same 40 something men that are hanging out with those 20 something girls What do the have that she doesn"t. I am pretty sure they can answer that question very well. Maybe she will find the answer there
An editorial in an pop magazine from an advice columnist is not proof. It isn't even support. That person is not a scientist, or sociologist, or psychologist, or anyone of any merit.
Stop doing the OP and others a disservice.
Here's some hardcore proof that these May-December marriages are not the norm:
In nearly 67% of marriages, the age gap is 5 years or less--and that is just when the man and woman are within 12 months of each other or the man is older. Add in marriages where the woman is 5 or fewer years older than the man, and that figure rises to 76%. This chart comes from Wikipedia, which I am citing only because it's easiest to understand, but if you click on citation 4, it will give you a spreadsheet that breaks it down.
The bottom line is that while we all like to look at beautiful young people, people tend to marry those they can relate to and who share a common point of reference. The highest odds of that happening are with someone who is within 5 years or so of yourself.
I suppose it's possible I am hallucinating, but I believe you said it.
Yes, to illustrate a point that men can make that decision without even meeting the woman. But i guess you disagree, because you start talking about other traits that are important when choosing a spouse. I dont disagree with you, and your opinion is not in contrast with mine.
I have a question for the older ladies. Do you find that men your age appreciate what you have to offer or are they mostly going for younger women?
I've noticed that I don't get as much attention as I used to. I'm 45. Whenever I see men who are around my age hanging around with girls in their 20s it makes me wonder what they have that I don't.
I believe I have a lot to offer, such as :
Experience
My own house and car
A career
2 kids
Confidence
I'm more well rounded, experienced and confident than these young girls, so why is it that I'm mostly ignored these days? I honestly don't feel that I'm lacking in anything.
As a man who is 44 about to be 45 in a week what you feel you have to offer means nothing to me, what is important is
A. am i attracted to you
B. do we get along
c. do I enjoy your company in large doses.
Now lets translate what you say you have to offer and how it sounds to us.
Experience = baggage
My own house and car = so what happens if we marry or move in together? I am not moving out of my house its paid for.
A career = less time spent together, constantly having to line up schedules.
2 kids = even less one on one time.
Confidence = Bossy or can leave me at a moments notice
Initial attraction is physical ONLY and based in sexuality. 90 some % of men are able to tell if a woman would make a suitable spouse by simply looking at a womans picture..
Now we know why the divorce rate tends to be as high as it is.
Here's some hardcore proof that these May-December marriages are not the norm:
In nearly 67% of marriages, the age gap is 5 years or less--and that is just when the man and woman are within 12 months of each other or the man is older. Add in marriages where the woman is 5 or fewer years older than the man, and that figure rises to 76%. This chart comes from Wikipedia, which I am citing only because it's easiest to understand, but if you click on citation 4, it will give you a spreadsheet that breaks it down.
The bottom line is that while we all like to look at beautiful young people, people tend to marry those they can relate to and who share a common point of reference. The highest odds of that happening are with someone who is within 5 years or so of yourself.
I bet if that chart broke down income or net worth, it would line up much the same, and thats really the issue women have, I had a job once installing alarm systems in a gated community, a very expensive place to live, most of the men living there were late 40s - early 60s most of their wives were mid 20s - mid 30s.
And the handfull of wives that looked to be close to their hubbies age usually had work done.
When women complain that men their age date only date younger women, what they really mean is all the successful men their age only date younger women, so they really need to shut up about it cause it makes them sound materialistic.
cause like your chart shows most men date or marry within 5 years of their age, but we all have gone out and seen the hottest girl in the club in the arms of some guy that looks like her grampa.
As a man who is 44 about to be 45 in a week what you feel you have to offer means nothing to me, what is important is
A. am i attracted to you
B. do we get along
c. do I enjoy your company in large doses.
Now lets translate what you say you have to offer and how it sounds to us.
Experience = baggage
My own house and car = so what happens if we marry or move in together? I am not moving out of my house its paid for.
A career = less time spent together, constantly having to line up schedules.
2 kids = even less one on one time.
Confidence = Bossy or can leave me at a moments notice
Ohkayy, so, you prefer mousy and a wallflower to confident, economically dependent and/or golddigger to career (not sure why scheduling would be an issue. It isn't for any of the career women I know), clueless about how relationships work and what it takes to make on work to "experience", and no assets (so she might be eager to clean you out of yours, in the event of divorce) to financially responsible and goal-oriented.
That's good, cyphorx. Good luck to you with those preferences. You'll need it.
I bet if that chart broke down income or net worth, it would line up much the same, and thats really the issue women have, I had a job once installing alarm systems in a gated community, a very expensive place to live, most of the men living there were late 40s - early 60s most of their wives were mid 20s - mid 30s.
And the handfull of wives that looked to be close to their hubbies age usually had work done.
When women complain that men their age date only date younger women, what they really mean is all the successful men their age only date younger women, so they really need to shut up about it cause it makes them sound materialistic.
cause like your chart shows most men date or marry within 5 years of their age, but we all have gone out and seen the hottest girl in the club in the arms of some guy that looks like her grampa.
I don't complain that men my age date only younger women, because men my age approach me.
Do some men my age date younger women? Sure. And my two most significant relationships were with men 7-10 years younger than I am. I made more money than my ex-hub, my ex-SO made more money than I did at the time. What's your point? To speak in inaccurate generalizations?
Bottom line is that I would not be with a man who would be with a much younger woman knowing full well that the only reason she gave him the time of day in the first place is because of his wallet. Men like that possess too much pathos for my taste.
As a man who is 44 about to be 45 in a week what you feel you have to offer means nothing to me, what is important is
A. am i attracted to you
B. do we get along
c. do I enjoy your company in large doses.
Now lets translate what you say you have to offer and how it sounds to us.
Experience = baggage
My own house and car = so what happens if we marry or move in together? I am not moving out of my house its paid for.
A career = less time spent together, constantly having to line up schedules.
2 kids = even less one on one time.
Confidence = Bossy or can leave me at a moments notice
You should have stopped with the alphabet, because that much makes sense. If anything, a need for companionship is what drives men at that age to date, from what I can see. How ironic, that right when many women get tired of taking care of other people, compromising, and always having to consider the needs of someone else, many men come to realize that all that time and effort they put into their careers and establishing themselves means nothing if they have no one to share it with.
As for leaving you at a moment's notice, your fear of that sounds really, REALLY bad, like you would rather be with a woman who is so insecure she'll put up with any old crap from you. You may not mean to sound that way, but that's how what you say translates to us. Well, you know, generally the rule is that if you treat a woman as a human being and an equal, you won't have to worry about her dumping you!
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