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This guy acts hot and cold. I don't get it. It is soooo hard because he lives so close so I see everything, and it tears me up inside. Any advice is appreciated. Here's the story.
This guy and I live in the same apartment complex. He lives with a roommate, and I live alone. Everytime he talks to me, he is always very flirty and friendly. He has touched my hair a couple times, his pupils dilate, smiles very easily. We are sorta opposites. He is a big drinker and has no problems being around a drinking / drug scene and often goes out with his roommate. When I met him, I thought he might be the type to bring women around but months and months went by and I never saw it with him, only his roommate. He focused all his attention on me, greeting me when he would see me outside. But never really asked me anywhere.
Came over to my apartment once to watch tv. I could tell he wanted to kiss me (he even touched my leg) but I didn't make myself open to it (even though I'm attracted to him) because I wanted to wait for a kiss for at least the second date since he lived so close. He still seemed into me months later. One day his car doesn't start so I drive him to work. I ask if he can come to my apartment to help me fix this one thing and he says yes, seems happy. Then, a couple days later I see a girl a few times coming out of his apartment every evening for about a week. I even saw her kiss him outside. I was shocked and hurt. One day I slam my door so he knew I was upset. He tried to call out to me, but I ignored him a few days. Then, I answered him back politely a couple days later. A week later I see him kiss a different girl in front of the apartment and she slept over. Why would he do this if he saw that he hurt my feelings the first time?
A month goes by. He comes out showing me his new pet and asks if I could watch the pet while he goes on vacation with his family. I say yes and he says he would let me know. A couple days later he calls out that he could come over in the evening to fix the thing in my apartment I had asked about but he never shows up. I ask him about it when I see him a day later and he shrugs his shoulders and says sorry that he got home late but I saw his car pull in and it wasn't that late (I don't tell him that though, just say ok). Next he went on vacation - I did not watch his pet because I was going on vacation around the same time and I did not get back before he left so him and his roommate got someone else to watch the pet.
He says hi when he sees me outside when he returns. But that was it. That night he kisses a different girl outside of his apartment. Then, she comes over a couple days later at 8:30 leaves by 10, then a different girl pulls up at 11:30 and stays the night. A couple weeks ago I see him and his roommate on a double date (different girl yet again). And they see me and seem to feel bad. Then the next day he is outside with a girl. I go outside late at night and I can hear his roommate and friends saying uh-oh.
Next day he sees me out and asks if I'm ok. I say there was a problem in my apartment but it was going to be fixed. He said oh you could come and hang out with me and my roommate. I say management is coming to fix it so I have to be there and at the same time one of his buddies was pulling up for him so he hopped in the car to leave. Later that afternoon, he's walking around in front of my apartment, knowing I can see him out the window since it is open. He keeps looking and seems to want me to come out. I don't. Two days later - I went to bed at 10 pm last night. No guest car in his parking spot. I wake up close to five and leave. As I'm leaving, I see a girl in one of his parking spots (so she must have slept over). I get back at 6 and she's gone. I am going crazy here!!! Why all these different girls? He knows he's hurting my feelings so why not just ask me on a date and see if it would work out and then if it doesn't, invite girls over? It's so hard that this is right in front of my face. Guess he's not the one for me for sure.
He's not your boyfriend. You have no right to be slamming any doors. You shouldn't be wondering why "he's doing this if it hurts your feelings". There's nothing between you but some flirtation. This could change, but for now that's all you've got. If I were a guy and a girl was acting like you, I'd probably stay away so I don't hurt her.
Last edited by wonderwall; 07-27-2015 at 08:11 AM..
Reason: Typo
I think you got too much time on your hands. Why aren't you seeing guys? You're focusing a lot of your energy on a guy you believe is a "player" so why not just go on dates and focus on your own dating life. All this time and energy wasted on a guy you think is interested, when there are plenty of guys out there for you to focus on.
If I were a guy and a girl was acting like you, I'd probably stay away so I don't hurt her.
I'd probably stay away because slamming the doors in this case is a highly emotional overreaction to the situation and she is borderline stalking the guy. I would be scared to be in a relationship with her based on that.
This guy acts hot and cold. I don't get it. It is soooo hard because he lives so close so I see everything, and it tears me up inside. Any advice is appreciated. Here's the story.
This guy and I live in the same apartment complex. He lives with a roommate, and I live alone. Everytime he talks to me, he is always very flirty and friendly. He has touched my hair a couple times, his pupils dilate, smiles very easily. We are sorta opposites. He is a big drinker and has no problems being around a drinking / drug scene and often goes out with his roommate. When I met him, I thought he might be the type to bring women around but months and months went by and I never saw it with him, only his roommate. He focused all his attention on me, greeting me when he would see me outside. But never really asked me anywhere.
Came over to my apartment once to watch tv. I could tell he wanted to kiss me (he even touched my leg) but I didn't make myself open to it (even though I'm attracted to him) because I wanted to wait for a kiss for at least the second date since he lived so close. He still seemed into me months later. One day his car doesn't start so I drive him to work. I ask if he can come to my apartment to help me fix this one thing and he says yes, seems happy. Then, a couple days later I see a girl a few times coming out of his apartment every evening for about a week. I even saw her kiss him outside. I was shocked and hurt. One day I slam my door so he knew I was upset. He tried to call out to me, but I ignored him a few days. Then, I answered him back politely a couple days later. A week later I see him kiss a different girl in front of the apartment and she slept over. Why would he do this if he saw that he hurt my feelings the first time?
A month goes by. He comes out showing me his new pet and asks if I could watch the pet while he goes on vacation with his family. I say yes and he says he would let me know. A couple days later he calls out that he could come over in the evening to fix the thing in my apartment I had asked about but he never shows up. I ask him about it when I see him a day later and he shrugs his shoulders and says sorry that he got home late but I saw his car pull in and it wasn't that late (I don't tell him that though, just say ok). Next he went on vacation - I did not watch his pet because I was going on vacation around the same time and I did not get back before he left so him and his roommate got someone else to watch the pet.
He says hi when he sees me outside when he returns. But that was it. That night he kisses a different girl outside of his apartment. Then, she comes over a couple days later at 8:30 leaves by 10, then a different girl pulls up at 11:30 and stays the night. A couple weeks ago I see him and his roommate on a double date (different girl yet again). And they see me and seem to feel bad. Then the next day he is outside with a girl. I go outside late at night and I can hear his roommate and friends saying uh-oh.
Next day he sees me out and asks if I'm ok. I say there was a problem in my apartment but it was going to be fixed. He said oh you could come and hang out with me and my roommate. I say management is coming to fix it so I have to be there and at the same time one of his buddies was pulling up for him so he hopped in the car to leave. Later that afternoon, he's walking around in front of my apartment, knowing I can see him out the window since it is open. He keeps looking and seems to want me to come out. I don't. Two days later - I went to bed at 10 pm last night. No guest car in his parking spot. I wake up close to five and leave. As I'm leaving, I see a girl in one of his parking spots (so she must have slept over). I get back at 6 and she's gone. I am going crazy here!!! Why all these different girls? He knows he's hurting my feelings so why not just ask me on a date and see if it would work out and then if it doesn't, invite girls over? It's so hard that this is right in front of my face. Guess he's not the one for me for sure.
Yes you are!
Do you touch yourself when you spy on him through the peep hole?
You are a drama queen. Stalking a guy that gave you a chance but you don't kiss on the first hang out.
You get a second chance to hang out with him AND his roommate and you refused.
This guy doesn't know what you want any more than we do.
You mean other than flirting with her and hooking up with multiple other women at the same time??? LoL!!
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