Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Had an argument lately about it with my significant other. Am I being unrealistic or over the line with my expectations? The expectations are I want to know what we have is better than anything either of us had in the past. She denies these claims saying that it doesnt work like that and it's not a competition. But isnt that the purpose of every new relationship? Taking it to the next level instead of just saying "every relationship is different". I feel like part of my thinking is ego related but I can't seem to know how to get rid of this mindset.
This is your ego. No, not every relationship I have is better (or worse) than the previous, they are different. Some parts are better, some are worse, but it is a new connection with a unique individual.
You are being insecure and wanting to be told you are the best. That is all about ego and lack of self esteem.
It's perfectly reasonable for you to want to know that you're the best she's had. You don't have any problems at all with your ego, but you should be concerned that she doesn't want to answer your question. If the answer was "yes, you're the best" she would happily tell you. Think about it. Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you have an ego problem. They're wrong. Your ego is fine.
Dangerous discussion because ultimately you will have a different definition of "better" than your significant other. You are also putting your significant other in an awkward situation. All that matters is that he/she is with you now.... in the present.
Wanting reaffirmation that you are the best so far is an ego driven behavior.
It's perfectly reasonable for you to want to know that you're the best she's had. You don't have any problems at all with your ego, but you should be concerned that she doesn't want to answer your question. If the answer was "yes, you're the best" she would happily tell you. Think about it. Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you have an ego problem. They're wrong. Your ego is fine.
No, it is not. Not every woman I date is going to be a better lover than my last, and I'm not going to be a better lover than any they've ever had. That's a ridiculous expectation.
That holds true in all aspects of a relationship, not just sex. There is nothing to be gained by seeking such assurances.
Had an argument lately about it with my significant other. Am I being unrealistic or over the line with my expectations? The expectations are I want to know what we have is better than anything either of us had in the past. She denies these claims saying that it doesnt work like that and it's not a competition. But isnt that the purpose of every new relationship? Taking it to the next level instead of just saying "every relationship is different". I feel like part of my thinking is ego related but I can't seem to know how to get rid of this mindset.
A nice thought, but completely unrealistic. It's definitely your ego.
Insecurity will kill a relationship almost faster than anything else, so take care of that.
Had an argument lately about it with my significant other. Am I being unrealistic or over the line with my expectations? The expectations are I want to know what we have is better than anything either of us had in the past. She denies these claims saying that it doesnt work like that and it's not a competition. But isnt that the purpose of every new relationship? Taking it to the next level instead of just saying "every relationship is different". I feel like part of my thinking is ego related but I can't seem to know how to get rid of this mindset.
Yep, it's all ego.
Not everything is better with every relationship, it's a give and take. My husband treats me better than any other man I've been with, but he won't go down on me, which used to be a dealbreaker for me. Other men were great at that, but were ****ty to me. So you decide what is more important and you move forward.
Had an argument lately about it with my significant other. Am I being unrealistic or over the line with my expectations? The expectations are I want to know what we have is better than anything either of us had in the past. She denies these claims saying that it doesnt work like that and it's not a competition. But isnt that the purpose of every new relationship? Taking it to the next level instead of just saying "every relationship is different". I feel like part of my thinking is ego related but I can't seem to know how to get rid of this mindset.
No. And it sounds like you are close to sabotaging your relationship over a very flawed premise.
Not everything is better with every relationship, it's a give and take. My husband treats me better than any other man I've been with, but he won't go down on me, which used to be a dealbreaker for me. Other men were great at that, but were ****ty to me. So you decide what is more important and you move forward.
Wow. How very odd.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
