Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've been with my husband for almost two decades. We are each other's soft place to land because the world doesn't pull punches. We are together for the hugs and kisses before leaving the house, and the intimacy at night. We are together for the laughs and the tears, and everything in between. We are together for the support and loyalty we give each other, as well as the mental stimulation.
You just have to find the right person to marry and grow together instead of apart.
For some that is the toughest part of marriage, and it's best not to give that up until you find the person with worth giving up some freedom. I can only say for myself, it's a lot less constricting when you marry someone who is equally independent and isn't going to get bent out of shape if you want to have some separate interests.
My husband and I have shared interests and divergent interests. We want to spend time together, so we do it well. So we don't have an issue with doing outside things too. It's when you don't have enough intimacy and quality time together that people begrudge outside interests.
I believe it is now an outdated social custom. It used to serve a purpose, and in some societies/countries it still does, but in most first-world nations, including the US, it's time has come and gone. People need to really sit down and think very hard about why they need to marry an individual they love in order to continue a relationship with them.
You just have to find the right person to marry and grow together instead of apart.
I think this is half of it. The other half of the equation is you need to be the right person. A lot of people are sour on marriage because they were hurt deeply by parents who provided poor examples; so they are afraid of even trying.
Last edited by mysticaltyger; 08-24-2015 at 07:02 PM..
I believe it is now an outdated social custom. It used to serve a purpose, and in some societies/countries it still does, but in most first-world nations, including the US, it's time has come and gone. People need to really sit down and think very hard about why they need to marry an individual they love in order to continue a relationship with them.
I am sort of ok with this philosophy if no kids are involved. But if kids are in the picture, this sort of thinking typically creates a very unstable home that is very damaging for children. It's all been well documented. Even liberal scholars are admitting it.
I'll add that people who get married and stay married tend to earn more and have more savings/wealth than those who never marry and/or divorce. I would never recommend getting married for those reasons, but it seems clear to me that these very real benefits mean marriage cannot so easily be cast aside as an "outdated social custom".
Just realize that what you like doing at 25 might not be the same thing your 35 or 45 year old self will prefer. And at that point, if you change your mind, you're not going to have as many options for partners.
The 'fierce independent streak' burns brightly for many a 25 year old....It often gets boring for folks as they get older.
I know I can change my mind at any time. I'm just getting out while I'm young.
I think this is half of it. The other half of the equation is you need to be the right person. A lot of people are sour on marriage because they were hurt deeply by parents who provided poor examples; so they are afraid of even trying.
I agree with this. I have to be a good spouse, just as my husband does. We are a team, and I think some people see their spouse as an opponent.
Marriage is best if you plan to have kids, can't earn enough money to support yourself , can't stand living alone.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
