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Eh, modeling is a critical step of teaching children. Years of watching a parent (or both parents) not pitch in sets a certain example.
Absolutely, but if one parent is less than cooperative (or truly is working so hard that s/he does not have the wherewithal), you've got to be prepared to work around that. The old "Well, Daddy doesn't put away his ____," doesn't fly with me. They've got two options: pick up your mess/take care of your chores... or pay me to do it; my fee schedule is fair, and appear as itemized deductions from their allowance.
Absolutely, but if one parent is less than cooperative (or truly is working so hard that s/he does not have the wherewithal), you've got to be prepared to work around that. The old "Well, Daddy doesn't put away his ____," doesn't fly with me. They've got two options: pick up your mess/take care of your chores... or pay me to do it; my fee schedule is fair, and appear as itemized deductions from their allowance.
"I'm not the boss of Daddy, I'm the boss of you" works on mine.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I really don't understand this conceptually. If a person is working too many hours to pick up after themselves, they should be working too much to make a mess at all.
I really don't understand this conceptually. If a person is working too many hours to pick up after themselves, they should be working too much to make a mess at all.
LOL, good point. When I work late or have a week or more of working late... the only "mess" I make is laundry. And how hard is it to put my shirts or socks or whatever in the laundry basket vs the floor... same effort.
When things are slow at work and I am not working a lot, I make more of a mess and clean it up more.
I live alone... and I work a lot. I manage to pick up after myself. It's not too hard.
Now to be fair, I do hire a maid weekly for things like the deep cleaning, cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming, etc... but just day-to-day picking up, cleaning up my dishes, wiping the counter after I cook, doing my laundry... somehow I manage and I think any adult is capable of picking up after him- or herself too. Heck, I also manage to cook myself dinner, walk the dog, shower, work out, etc.
And, if like Timber says if a person has enough time to make a mess, well, then they aren't working so much that they can't clean it up either.
A.) Learn to live with it being messy.
B.) Get used to cleaning everything yourself.
C.) Consider separating and in the future when you start dating again, make sure the guys have your same standards with cleanness and household maintenance.
This is pretty accurate.
When you live with somebody, you can either accept what their habits mean for you, ask them to consider changing their habits (without expecting that they will necessarily do so, anymore than you are likely to significantly change YOUR habits to suit THEIR preferences, or not accept their habits and remove yourself from the situation.
Knowing and being honest about what you can and can't live with, prior to setting up house with somebody, is pretty key in determining long-term happiness. Expecting people to significantly change behaviorally for you is typically pretty unrealistic.
I really don't understand this conceptually. If a person is working too many hours to pick up after themselves, they should be working too much to make a mess at all.
It doesn't take a whole lot of time or attention to just drop your **** wherever you happen to land. It does take time and attention to pick said **** up and put it where it goes.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
It doesn't take a whole lot of time or attention to just drop your **** wherever you happen to land. It does take time and attention to pick said **** up and put it where it goes.
It doesn't take any time or attention to just drop it where it belongs in the first place. That would save time in having to put it away. Common sense, really.
"I'm not the boss of Daddy, I'm the boss of you" works on mine.
Around here it's something along the lines of "awesome, you'll be paying the mortgage and bills this month, then I'll cut you a little slack. Oh, and the wasp nests need to be cleaned from the 2nd story."
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