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I’ve been sexually & emotionally abused in the past forabout 3 years. Following which I got molested again. As a result of this, I told my current bf that I often feel victimized in certain situations. I also tell him several other things that bother me, and he seems to be extremely understanding and supportive. HOWEVER, when he gets mad or we have a fight, he throws all my insecurities right back at me. I feel like I can confide in him when he’s NOT mad. But as soon as we’re fighting, he feels like it’s fair game to throw everything that he KNOWS will hurt me at me.
How is he understanding and supportive if he says things to intentionally hurt you?
Well that's what I don't get. He's super supportive if it's not a fight, and we're normal. But as soon as he's angry, he says whatever he wants to release his frustration.
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That's an absolutely unacceptable way to "release frustrations". Please, I know it's hard, but please do not tolerate this sort of thing in any relationship. He will only continue and certainly get worse. You were a victim by circumstance in the past, if you accept foul treatment, then you are a victim by choice. A man who loves you will 100% NOT throw that information in your face whenever he gets "mad". Seriously, walk away - this IS emotional abuse.
That's an absolutely unacceptable way to "release frustrations". Please, I know it's hard, but please do not tolerate this sort of thing in any relationship. He will only continue and certainly get worse. You were a victim by circumstance in the past, if you accept foul treatment, then you are a victim by choice. A man who loves you will 100% NOT throw that information in your face whenever he gets "mad". Seriously, walk away - this IS emotional abuse.
This.
That is not a healthy relationship. That is not how you should be treated. Walk away before it escalates and becomes worse.
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Well that's what I don't get. He's super supportive if it's not a fight, and we're normal. But as soon as he's angry, he says whatever he wants to release his frustration.
I firmly believe that people's true colors come out when they are angry or frustrated. Being angry or frustrated at times is a fact of life, but we all have a choice of how we deal with it. For me, if someone becomes abusive when they are dealing with these emotions, it is on them to do work to keep them in check or lose me on their life- simple as that.
Hurt people hurt. Meaning that when someone is hurting either emotionally or physically, they can have a tendency to hurt those close to them. Frankly, considering what you've been through in your past, I can't imagine that it would be healthy for you to stay in this situation.
I'm sorry, but your boyfriend is not the man for you. If he truly loved you he wouldn't intentionally hurt you even during a fight. He's an emotional abuser who can keep it in check until he gets mad. You deserve better, please move on before it gets worse.
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