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Been married to a wonderful woman for many years. We are inseparable. We're so close we call each other "shoe", as in we're just like a pair of old comfortable shoes.
But I have a small problem.
She loves holidays and birthdays and I have gotten into the habit of buying her gifts in the $100-175 range (which for us is spendy). Now, after so many years I am flat out of ideas. I have her so tech'd up with every computer device known to man (which she uses for her at home writing job). I have maxed out gifts for all her hobbies. Just before we married years ago she lost all her jewelry in a burglary and I have fully replaced it and more (she had no renters insurance to cover the loss). She has closets full of clothes... She hates gift cards (too impersonal). I have done the massage thing and we do weekends at the glorious central Oregon coast, expensive dinners... Just trust me, there is nothing left to buy this woman that we can afford.
So where do I go from here? I really believe I have created an expectation that I can no longer live up to.
Just want to see if anyone has some general thoughts.
You sound like my husband and me. I recognized that he was in a similar situation and suggested we just do a nice night on the town for birthdays, etc.
Also, I LOVE getting a beautiful, well-written love letter.
OP, if those gifts were "spendy" for your budget, why did you do that on a regular basis? Wasn't/isn't that a bit irresponsible? How did you box yourself into this situation?
You could tell her that instead of a big gift, you're putting extra money away for both of your retirements and old age expenses (it always adds up to more than you expect). Then take her to a nice dinner to celebrate whatever the occasion is, or buy her concert tickets, or whatever.
On the grand scale of things, this is a minor blip. At least you have each other, and your love.
We get something "for each other" most years. It's often something we need, but sometimes it's something we both love. For example, every single Christmas without fail, my husband gives "me" tickets to the Renaissance Faire. This year it wasn't just for the two of us, but for the entire family as the kids had been expressing an interest. Even though I knew RF tickets were coming, I was thrilled to get them.
Surprises can be nice but so can just knowing one another and knowing what the other person really likes.
I'm biased because I'm an artist, but what about an original work of art? Commission an artist to paint something, perhaps? A painting of a pair of comfy shoes!
I tried for matching tats, but she does not like them.
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