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Well OP, you COULD give her the opportunity to dump you if she is not happy with the truth. Your truth being...you are seeing 2 women. Let them both know the real situation. Give them the option of dumping YOU.
They are merely being used by you. I think it must be an ego stroker thing. Bragging rights maybe?
I didn't read all the comments, but most of the ones I saw seem wrong-headed to me. People are making the mistake of imagining that there is a mysterious chemistry which is instantaneous and either/or. Not true. People often fall in love over time and attraction may develop over time.
Don't deceive her, or let her deceive herself, but give it another couple months.
Thanks for the comment, this is really the sticking point for me. It's been a long time since I've started a relationship. I had a GF in High school, I fell madly in love with her. I met my wife, fell madly in love with her. Now I'm over 40, I'm wondering if it's just that I don't have the same passion and emotional capacity I had when I was young.
There was a twist last night. I told the woman I have been casually dating for months that I was seeing someone and that we should be friends. I only see her about once a week, and she seemed content to keep things casual. Check my "1 date a week relationship" post, it was all about her. She was OK with it and we hung up agreeing we should see other people. The twist comes in, she sent me a text this morning that if I changed my mind, she'd like to see me more often, meet her kids, etc. I didn't expect that, and told her I would call her tonight. Obviously I'm not going to meet her kids with things the way they are, but I didn't expect that, and it has me waffling, I have feelings for her too.
I've made this far more complicated than it needed to be. I'm a novice at this, not an excuse, but true. I need to make a choice and stick with it. Just don't want to make the wrong choice.
Burb; your being honest with her at least respects her as an adult. It allows her to make her own decisions on your relationship with her, and how she wants to proceed.
"Casually dating" should not mean "lack of respect".
Now you tell him that, and rather than learn the actual use of an ellipsis, he'll become one of those idiots who uses extended ellipses (..........) instead of just a period. Not much of an improvement
Oh, gawd, yes! There are SO many posters on CD who do that. It drives me nuts!
This is a total cop-out and intellectually dishonest. This type of behavior is totally irrelevant to why more women don't ask men out.
If you were basing your actions on this type of behavior from guys like him, you wouldn't go out with guys if they asked you either. Asking or being asked is completely irrelevant.
There are two reasons more women don't ask guys out:
1) They are stuck on the old-fashioned attitude that it is unbecoming for a woman to be the one to pursue.
2) They are absolutely terrified of the direct rejection that a "No" would represent.
This isn't the topic of this thread, but no. Women don't ask men out, because the fact is that if a man is interested enough in a woman, he WILL pursue sooner or later. If he's not asking her out, he's not interested enough. Period.
Why would/should a woman pursue a man who wasn't interested enough in her to ask HER out?
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 10-30-2015 at 03:15 PM..
There is another forum I've been to and they actually had a bunch of former and some current members of CD and one of the long time posters here that has finally been banned... while she was saying some nasty things here, but DAMN! on that other forum she would spew such vile stuff about not wanting kids and how she didn't want to raise some other woman's kids... she said the same stuff here, but was dialed down......I actually had to stop going to check on that thread in that other place because it was just too nasty. She was the one with fat boyfriend that lived with his mother at 50 yrs old.
I'm sure people know who I'm talking about.
What a coincidence! I was recently wondering what happened to her.
This isn't the topic of this thread, but no. Women don't ask men out, because the fact is that if a man is interested enough in a woman, he WILL pursue sooner or later. If he's not asking her out, he's not interested enough. Period.
Why would/should a woman ask a man out who wasn't interested enough in her to ask HER out?
That's a very good point Dixie but a lot of men are shy.
The best looking fella I know for example, I genuinely think he could pick any woman he wants ( he's that good looking ) but he's too shy to act on it hence him not approaching women.
That's a very good point Dixie but a lot of men are shy.
The best looking fella I know for example, I genuinely think he could pick any woman he wants ( he's that good looking ) but he's too shy to act on it hence him not approaching women.
Sure, there are men out there too shy to ask women out. Or perhaps a man can be just too clueless to realize the woman he secretly likes has her sights set on him, as well. My brother was one of the latter, and he was a good-looking guy (still is, in fact). My SIL pursued him. But, really, that kind of shyness doesn't afflict most men.
As a rule, if a man isn't asking out a woman, then he's just not that into her. Period. And THAT is why women, as a rule, don't ask men out. It's certainly why I won't ask a man out, no matter how attracted to him I am.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 10-30-2015 at 03:31 PM..
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hence him not approaching women.
