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I don't see the point in dating (with a desire to marry) if you're not going to have a family. I've seen a few people do this and it always makes me scratch my head.
Why get married (with all of the awful laws and few benefits) if you don't plan on fulfilling the purpose of marriage (building a nuclear family)? This is suggestive of poor decision-making to me.
Why exactly do you care what other people do with their lives as long as it isn't affecting you? So you're saying that the only purpose of marriage is building a nuclear family?
I've never married and don't plan to (though I haven't totally ruled it out), but I know quite a few married people that don't have kids and they seem pretty happy.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akonyo
I don't see the point in dating (with a desire to marry) if you're not going to have a family. I've seen a few people do this and it always makes me scratch my head.
Why get married (with all of the awful laws and few benefits) if you don't plan on fulfilling the purpose of marriage (building a nuclear family)? This is suggestive of poor decision-making to me.
Dating is fun. That is why I do it.
And marriage didn't come about to build a nuclear family. That's historically off base.
For me the whole point of marriage is to start a family. If children are not what I am looking for I cant say that I would even consider marriage. I have always wanted children and therefore if I dated someone who was not interested in that I would consider us incompatible.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
You and your friends are unicorns... trust me.. I've never seen a lot of women that don't want or have kids past 28......
Seriously? Both the women I'm just starting to hang with now never wanted to have kids. The majority of women I've dated in my life (I'm 44) never wanted to have kids or just didn't have them.
I go to something like OKC and start going through the singles 35-45 or so and most don't have kids and a large percentage of those state in the questions they don't want them.
It's really not the uncommon if you don't live in a conservative/family areas. Are you like in Orange Country or something like that? It's really conservative down there.
Seriously? Both the women I'm just starting to hang with now never wanted to have kids. The majority of women I've dated in my life (I'm 44) never wanted to have kids or just didn't have them.
I go to something like OKC and start going through the singles 35-45 or so and most don't have kids and a large percentage of those state in the questions they don't want them.
It's really not the uncommon if you don't live in a conservative/family areas. Are you like in Orange Country or something like that? It's really conservative down there.
I'm in the heart of southern California , los angeles county... the heart of liberalism and free spiritedness and I've had hard time............ I've had a rough time meeting women that didn't have kids.... this was in my 20's...a long time ago... when I was single....
I don't see the point in dating (with a desire to marry) if you're not going to have a family. I've seen a few people do this and it always makes me scratch my head.
Why get married (with all of the awful laws and few benefits) if you don't plan on fulfilling the purpose of marriage (building a nuclear family)? This is suggestive of poor decision-making to me.
This is my point of view too for the most part (that the primary purpose of marriage is to have a family). And I don't have any goals to get married myself. However you are mistaken on the "awful laws and few benefits".
In case you are wondering, my personal desire for complete independence and to live alone is what drives me to be single (I am not married, but I have a SO). But I am well aware of what I am giving up by not opting for marriage.
The laws and benefits of being married are great (you get more benefits to being married than being single). There are government benefits, tax breaks, social security benefits later in life; employer benefits like you get more choices of healthcare since you can be on your spouse's coverage or veterans benefits if your spouse was a vet; you have inheritance rights if you live together, exemption from gift and inheritance taxes; Medical benefits, you can see your dying loved on in the hospital when things are open to "family only;" Consumer benefits with family rates on many items and family discounts; etc
There are so many pluses to being married, it's crazy. There is a reason the gay community is fighting so hard for marriage rights.
The downside is only if you are one of the 1/3 of the population that ends up in divorce. So the answer to that is many fold. #1) Be careful who you marry/marry an equal partner (and if you marry a person of character, if divorce happens to come, you can do what most people do and mediate instead of dragging things to family court) #2) If you need it, sign a prenup. If you do #1 and #2, your chances of being raked over the coals in divorce is nearly slim. Yes, it can still happen, but it's rare if you did those two items.
So basically, marriage benefits people. Most people for the rest of their lives since most don't divorce. It benefits 1/3 of people for a period of time (those are the 33% who divorce). And then, the bad side of divorce is only there if you planned poorly.
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