Is my Girlfriend being Disrespectful, or am I just being too sensitive? (dating, boyfriends)
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So I've been dating this girl for a few months (I'm 22, she's 20) who is also my sister's best friend/roommate. I guess I'm always kinda second guessing myself with how I take what she says/how I should respond to not lose her respect or be too jealous/defensive. I'm just trying to find a happy medium.
So I guess my first question is, is she calling me 'awkward' disrespectful, or just being honest? I know I am an awkward person, socially at least, and she knows this too obviously. However, she brought it up one time basically saying, "You are so awkward". Now I know this is the truth, but hearing her say it I guess kinda made me feel bad. But then she says, "I like that you're awkward, I probably wouldn't have liked you if you weren't" And I honestly believe her, cause she is a bit 'quirky' herself. So my question, is this disrespectful of her and should I have made a big deal of it? Or should I just accept it and play it cool (knowing it is true after all).
That's the first part, this I guess, is another scenario that just happened, for example.
So she has this sorority formal coming up and asked if I wanted to go with her, and I said yeah but I'm starting a new project at work and might be busy so I'm not sure yet; her response (mind you she is a joking type person). "Just thought I'd ask don't want to force you. Just thought I'd ask you first before I ask my other couple boyfriends, ya know?" Now the rational part of me is just like, ok, this is obviously a joke. But I guess another part of me(the part who doesn't want to be disrespected) is like, how should I respond to this? Play it cool because I know it's a joke? Confront her because I think that it's disrespectful?
I guess I just don't generally know where to draw the line between her honesty/joking kind of personality, and not having her lose respect for me (which can lead to a lot of bad things I've seen). Am I just totally overthinking/reacting to everything?
***For reference: She initially took a huge interest in me and basically(with my sister's help) had to hound me to take her on the first date, as we had been hooking up casually before that. So I know she initially and still does really like me. I just don't want to lose her respect/think she can get away with things that are not 'ok', whatever that means. ***
If you don't like being called awkward - then let her know. It doesn't sound like she is trying to be disrespectful but if you don't like it - that's all that matters.
Now, her joke was obviously just a joke. My husband and I joke like that with each other all the time. Confronting her about this is probably only going to blow up in your face.
In my opinion you are being too sensitive likely out of insecurity and a desire to prove your masculinity as the alpha. Perhaps you see relationships as a power struggle in which case it may be suited to lessen the seeming sensitivity and address actual actions of her that insult or belittle your own.
You seem of the typical PUA, redpill, and rooshv mindset. It may be suited for you to visit such sites so you can control and train her.
In my opinion you are being too sensitive likely out of insecurity and a desire to prove your masculinity as the alpha. Perhaps you see relationships as a power struggle in which case it may be suited to lessen the seeming sensitivity and address actual actions of her that insult or belittle your own.
You seem of the typical PUA, redpill, and rooshv mindset. It may be suited for you to visit such sites so you can control and train her.
Holy hell how did you jump all the way to roosh from this dude feeling disrespected? My god.
However, she brought it up one time basically saying, "You are so awkward". Now I know this is the truth, but hearing her say it I guess kinda made me feel bad. But then she says, "I like that you're awkward, I probably wouldn't have liked you if you weren't" And I honestly believe her, cause she is a bit 'quirky' herself. So my question, is this disrespectful of her and should I have made a big deal of it? Or should I just accept it and play it cool (knowing it is true after all).
"Just thought I'd ask don't want to force you. Just thought I'd ask you first before I ask my other couple boyfriends, ya know?"
I just don't want to lose her respect/think she can get away with things that are not 'ok', whatever that means. ***
Maybe she is joking, but if she is, she is being very disrespectful about it. She is saying things that make you feel bad.
So next time, just ask. "Are you deliberately trying to make me feel bad? Because I don't think it's funny. Call me sensitive."
***For reference: She initially took a huge interest in me and basically(with my sister's help) had to hound me to take her on the first date, as we had been hooking up casually before that. So I know she initially and still does really like me. I just don't want to lose her respect/think she can get away with things that are not 'ok', whatever that means. ***
You don't want her to get away with things? Yeah… That sounds a bit off. You are in a romantic relationship with her. She's not your child.
Yeah, that website/link is a terrible place to ask for advice.
OP, it sounds like your girlfriend wasn't intending to insult you by calling you awkward, but if you don't like it, you don't like it and can tactfully ask her to stop. If you bring up the joke about "other boyfriends" though, it's just going to make you seem humorless and insecure.
Holy hell how did you jump all the way to roosh from this dude feeling disrespected? My god.
From how he feels disrespected from her telling the truth and in a 'complimentary' way ie he is awkward and she wouldn't have been with him otherwise. In my opinion such sensitivity to feeling disrespected and ensuring she respects him so she doesn't misbehave it seems he has a power play mindset.
Roosh seems to be a well male accepted dating/sex 'guruc from my observations. So why not.
It is odd to me that you are seemingly only taking note of me when the first response doles out roosh as well.
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