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And I'm not. He could come in here and tell me otherwise, but I think that people just want to read it that way because it allows them a very obvious way to "win the argument", as it were. His tone riles people up so much that they just WANT him to be wrong, and will scrutinize words to prove it.
If it's not obvious, I agree with his general statements, with the (what should be) obvious caveat that there are always exceptions. But I don't think simply pointing out that "not EVERYONE does" (a condition that is used so often around here that we have an acronym for it) makes the underlying point invalid...even if others don't agree. Nobody expects us all to agree.
Oh - I'm pretty sure he does. And he thrives on riling people up. But like I said - although I'm pretty sure there are a few guys that either believe that all men are only attracted to younger women or want people to think that they believe that - it doesn't really matter because I don't think anyone really takes them seriously. People with attractive attributes usually have an easier time dating no matter what their age. At least, that's what it seems like to me. I don't plan on ever being single again - but if I was, I really wouldn't be worried about finding people to date.
Eh....I don't know. I'm 57 and I see a few guys looking me over from time to time and these guys are my age or younger. Now whether those guys would be considered "mate worthy" in my book, that would be another story. I'm married but if something happened to DH, I'm not sure I'd jump right into the dating pool, if at all. I certainly would steer clear of online dating because my friends' experience has been less than stellar there. Maybe it is because I'm married but I do not feel needy at all and am fine with my own company. It certainly helps that I'm financially stable as well. I think many factors are involved here.
FWIW, I met my DH when he was 35 and never married. He was somewhat like the Steve Carrell character in 40 Year Old Virgin. While not a virgin, he was nerdy and shy. I'm a bit of a nerd too, was really tired of slick, worldly womanizer types that I tended to attract, so it just worked out. For every statistic there is an anomaly.
The problem is, that as we get older and loose our looks, we hardly find people in our age group attractive. The guys who are over 30, but ARE attractive are most likely single for a reason, which means they have issues. So basically once you get past a certain age you have 3 options left:
1. Be lucky and catch someone who just divorced
2. Date an not so attractive guy, who makes up for it with his personality and status
3. Date an more attractive younger guy, but don't expect the relationship to last, as big age differences rarely work out
You need to work to overcome those assumptions. They are like your internal barrier. They are not true. My family tend to get married when they are at least 30, at the minimum, for both male and female relatives. It's further from the truth for 1,2,3.
My husband was not a playboy but he liked to be as independent as long as he could. He had lots of hobbies. So he delayed getting married as long as possible. People he used to date were much better looking(than me) but the timing wasn't right for some of them.
By what you state, you already made some assumptions that only undersirable men are left, and that's not true. It speaks very much to your self worth. Because all the married ones were not all desirable, some of them were just awful. I rather be left alone then be married to one of them.
Most early marriages end up as starter marriages anyway. Getting married early is looking down in my sub culture anyway. Only previous generation like my mother and my husband's mother where that was encouraged.
I like your post the most, because of the precise and intelligent analysis of the whole dating situation and the psychological issues of people. I came to the conclusion that I no longer have to ask myself if I will be wanted in 10 years, but rather if I will want what is left then.
The problem is, that as we get older and loose our looks, we hardly find people in our age group attractive. The guys who are over 30, but ARE attractive are most likely single for a reason, which means they have issues. So basically once you get past a certain age you have 3 options left:
1. Be lucky and catch someone who just divorced
2. Date an not so attractive guy, who makes up for it with his personality and status
3. Date an more attractive younger guy, but don't expect the relationship to last, as big age differences rarely work out
Let me make sure I understand. Guys who aren't married by 30 have issues? Hahahahaha.
I would expect to be in a serious relationship maybe mid thirties. I'm just hitting my stride at 28. Making solid money, taking foreign assignment. I wouldn't call that "issues."
I like your post the most, because of the precise and intelligent analysis of the whole dating situation and the psychological issues of people. I came to the conclusion that I no longer have to ask myself if I will be wanted in 10 years, but rather if I will want what is left then.
The problem is, that as we get older and loose our looks, we hardly find people in our age group attractive. The guys who are over 30, but ARE attractive are most likely single for a reason, which means they have issues. So basically once you get past a certain age you have 3 options left:
1. Be lucky and catch someone who just divorced
2. Date an not so attractive guy, who makes up for it with his personality and status
3. Date an more attractive younger guy, but don't expect the relationship to last, as big age differences rarely work out
I disagree with this! Guys who are over 30 and not married are not defective. They might have been in long term relationships which didn't work out for a variety of reasons; they might have focused on having fun & building their careers, just like women have. By your rationale, women over 30 and not married are also defective then? I still find guys in my age group quite good looking so again please speak for yourself!
You seriously need to re-examine your attitude and values coz your statement just ain't pretty!
I like your post the most, because of the precise and intelligent analysis of the whole dating situation and the psychological issues of people. I came to the conclusion that I no longer have to ask myself if I will be wanted in 10 years, but rather if I will want what is left then.
The problem is, that as we get older and loose our looks, we hardly find people in our age group attractive. The guys who are over 30, but ARE attractive are most likely single for a reason, which means they have issues. So basically once you get past a certain age you have 3 options left:
1. Be lucky and catch someone who just divorced
2. Date an not so attractive guy, who makes up for it with his personality and status
3. Date an more attractive younger guy, but don't expect the relationship to last, as big age differences rarely work out
I think you are wrong. My boyfriend and I are both over 30 and he's wonderful. I feel very lucky we found each other. He's single because his ex didn't realize what a good thing she had in him. I've met her and she's not a bad person but she is just one of those people who doesn't settle down with anyone long term while on the other hand he's the type who does want to settle down and have a lasting relationship.
Dating in my 20a was the pits. No quality men seemed interested. It was mostly older creepy men who troll college clubs looking for barely legal and young men my own age only interested in sex and real relationships. I think a lot of people really don't mature and come into their own until the are in their 30s.
Have hope. Most men are good and unless you are overly picky with long trivial list, you will find someone. There are a lot of good guys out there you just got to give them a chance while not wasting time with guys who are negative and prey upon fears for their own twisted reasons.
I think you are wrong. My boyfriend and I are both over 30 and he's wonderful. I feel very lucky we found each other. He's single because his ex didn't realize what a good thing she had in him. I've met her and she's not a bad person but she is just one of those people who doesn't settle down with anyone long term while on the other hand he's the type who does want to settle down and have a lasting relationship.
Dating in my 20a was the pits. No quality men seemed interested. It was mostly older creepy men who troll college clubs looking for barely legal and young men my own age only interested in sex and real relationships. I think a lot of people really don't mature and come into their own until the are in their 30s.
Have hope. Most men are good and unless you are overly picky with long trivial list, you will find someone. There are a lot of good guys out there you just got to give them a chance while not wasting time with guys who are negative and prey upon fears for their own twisted reasons.
Maybe I should state, men who are over 30 and singlr, i.e. not coming out of an unlucky long term relationship. I just speak from my own experience and what I see around me. Like, the men with stable careers and a normal mindset are all in long-term relationships and married or at least planning to get married around their mid-thirties.
I've met quite some men over 30 who appeared to be a good catch, but later it always showed WHY their have been single. I really don't want to say that all single men over a certain age are defective, but the number of men who are desirable AND capable to form a relationship decreases significantly. Like I said, a lot of exceptions possible, but rare.
Maybe I should state, men who are over 30 and singlr, i.e. not coming out of an unlucky long term relationship. I just speak from my own experience and what I see around me. Like, the men with stable careers and a normal mindset are all in long-term relationships and married or at least planning to get married around their mid-thirties.
I've met quite some men over 30 who appeared to be a good catch, but later it always showed WHY their have been single. I really don't want to say that all single men over a certain age are defective, but the number of men who are desirable AND capable to form a relationship decreases significantly. Like I said, a lot of exceptions possible, but rare.
I think it's wrong to think that just because a guy is married he must be a good catch. There are some truly awful husbands and wives out there, so being married does not make you the best pick. Some people are so desperate for marriage that they will take anyone at a young age & live the rest of their lives in misery just so they can say they are married. If all married people were of perfect character, then we wouldn't have so many divorces & cheating scumbags! Neither would we have so many kids requiring therapy after being raised by parents who really don't love each other, but stay coz of fearing what the neighbours will say.
I'ld rather be single than suffer in an unhappy marriage & if it takes me a little longer to find my Prince Charming, then so be it.
Maybe I should state, men who are over 30 and singlr, i.e. not coming out of an unlucky long term relationship. I just speak from my own experience and what I see around me. Like, the men with stable careers and a normal mindset are all in long-term relationships and married or at least planning to get married around their mid-thirties.
I've met quite some men over 30 who appeared to be a good catch, but later it always showed WHY their have been single. I really don't want to say that all single men over a certain age are defective, but the number of men who are desirable AND capable to form a relationship decreases significantly. Like I said, a lot of exceptions possible, but rare.
Now you're doing the same thing you protested in the beginning of this thread.
Oh - I'm pretty sure he does. And he thrives on riling people up. But like I said - although I'm pretty sure there are a few guys that either believe that all men are only attracted to younger women or want people to think that they believe that - it doesn't really matter because I don't think anyone really takes them seriously. People with attractive attributes usually have an easier time dating no matter what their age. At least, that's what it seems like to me. I don't plan on ever being single again - but if I was, I really wouldn't be worried about finding people to date.
Maybe, maybe not. Couldn't say. But he's certainly succeeding in riling people up, which (not always, but in this thread) seems to reveal a subset of people who are a bit "too" defensive, a la "protesting too much". It looks a bit too much like people are afraid he could be right and don't like it. People that TRULY don't take an opinion seriously don't bother dealing with it and, as you pointed out, many people are getting riled up about it.
People with attractive attributes have an easier time dating? As (I think) you put it earlier, "water is wet". But that wasn't the argument he was making.
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