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I'm in my final year at university and I've had the feeling one of my tutors liked me for a while. However I wasn't really sure as one week during class he mentioned something about his girlfriend, so I thought I'd just misinterpreted any previous signals.
Last week in class he asked me to read out a poem and said it was 'beautiful' after I'd finished, then apologised for having picked on me to read it out after class as I got really flustered/nervous.
I had a tutorial with him earlier this week and he was really nice and said my essay was his favourite, then when we'd finished he started asking me different non-work related questions about my plans for the holidays, where I was from and my opinion on the module/general subject matter. I'm really shy with guys/new people so I kept giving short answers and avoiding eye contact with him, and I think he thought I didn't like him or want to speak to him.
I kind of glanced at him when I was about to leave and he looked kind of upset so now I feel really bad. The semester's over so I won't see him again, but I was wondering if I should email him and apologise or just leave it?
I'm aware that there's a bit of a taboo regarding teacher-student relationships; however as I'm no longer taking the class I'm not actually his student anymore, and there's no way there could be said to be a conflict of interest with regards to his teaching/my studies.
I'm also slightly confused about how he feels as he's given small signs of liking me previously, but then the girlfriend comment threw me a little. It makes no sense that he'd be so friendly and try and strike up a more personal conversational topic if he didn't have any interest in me, so I'm wondering if he mentioned a 'girlfriend' to try and make me jealous or see my reaction? If it helps, he's in his mid-twenties and I'm in my early twenties.
I'm in my final year at university and I've had the feeling one of my tutors liked me for a while. However I wasn't really sure as one week during class he mentioned something about his girlfriend, so I thought I'd just misinterpreted any previous signals.
Last week in class he asked me to read out a poem and said it was 'beautiful' after I'd finished, then apologised for having picked on me to read it out after class as I got really flustered/nervous.
I had a tutorial with him earlier this week and he was really nice and said my essay was his favourite, then when we'd finished he started asking me different non-work related questions about my plans for the holidays, where I was from and my opinion on the module/general subject matter. I'm really shy with guys/new people so I kept giving short answers and avoiding eye contact with him, and I think he thought I didn't like him or want to speak to him.
I kind of glanced at him when I was about to leave and he looked kind of upset so now I feel really bad. The semester's over so I won't see him again, but I was wondering if I should email him and apologise or just leave it?
I'm aware that there's a bit of a taboo regarding teacher-student relationships; however as I'm no longer taking the class I'm not actually his student anymore, and there's no way there could be said to be a conflict of interest with regards to his teaching/my studies.
I'm also slightly confused about how he feels as he's given small signs of liking me previously, but then the girlfriend comment threw me a little. It makes no sense that he'd be so friendly and try and strike up a more personal conversational topic if he didn't have any interest in me, so I'm wondering if he mentioned a 'girlfriend' to try and make me jealous or see my reaction? If it helps, he's in his mid-twenties and I'm in my early twenties.
I very much doubt he would mention his " girlfriend " just to make you jealous, honestly as you quite clearly like him I'd ask him.
He may well like you or he might shoot you down in flames but at least you will know one way or the other
You may be reading more to these "signs" than there really is. Perhaps he's just a really good tutor and is trying to help you gain a bit of confidence
You may be reading more to these "signs" than there really is. Perhaps he's just a really good tutor and is trying to help you gain a bit of confidence
Yeah, you could be right. It's just there have been other instances where for example I was leaving class with a guy (just a friend) and he kind of gazed after me. I've also caught him staring at my legs, and he often shoots me little smiles while he's teaching. Perhaps he is just being a good tutor, but I don't really know why he'd want to try and help me 'gain a bit of confidence' as I don't think I come across as unconfident generally- just with new people/guys in a one-to-one situation.
I'll probably leave it though as I can't be 100% sure that there was ever any attraction- I just find him very confusing to read and keep thinking about what might have been if I'd acted differently.
I'm in my final year at university and I've had the feeling one of my tutors liked me for a while. However I wasn't really sure as one week during class he mentioned something about his girlfriend, so I thought I'd just misinterpreted any previous signals.
Last week in class he asked me to read out a poem and said it was 'beautiful' after I'd finished, then apologised for having picked on me to read it out after class as I got really flustered/nervous.
I had a tutorial with him earlier this week and he was really nice and said my essay was his favourite, then when we'd finished he started asking me different non-work related questions about my plans for the holidays, where I was from and my opinion on the module/general subject matter. I'm really shy with guys/new people so I kept giving short answers and avoiding eye contact with him, and I think he thought I didn't like him or want to speak to him.
I kind of glanced at him when I was about to leave and he looked kind of upset so now I feel really bad. The semester's over so I won't see him again, but I was wondering if I should email him and apologise or just leave it?
I'm aware that there's a bit of a taboo regarding teacher-student relationships; however as I'm no longer taking the class I'm not actually his student anymore, and there's no way there could be said to be a conflict of interest with regards to his teaching/my studies.
I'm also slightly confused about how he feels as he's given small signs of liking me previously, but then the girlfriend comment threw me a little. It makes no sense that he'd be so friendly and try and strike up a more personal conversational topic if he didn't have any interest in me, so I'm wondering if he mentioned a 'girlfriend' to try and make me jealous or see my reaction? If it helps, he's in his mid-twenties and I'm in my early twenties.
I think you give off a lot more unconfidence that you realize just from what you are saying here.
Honestly, it sounds like he is being extra nice to try and help you feel more comfortable. But if you like him email him and ask him if he wants to get a coffee. He might say no, but you won't know if you don't ask.
Honestly, it sounds like he is being extra nice to try and help you feel more comfortable. But if you like him email him and ask him if he wants to get a coffee. He might say no, but you won't know if you don't ask.
Fair enough. I don't think I'll be contacting him at all given the opinions that I've got, but thanks for your reply anyway.
Send him a Christmas card with a note thanking him for assisting you, and wish him well for the New Year and the semester ahead. Make sure your return address (for next semester) is on the envelope..
Then wait for a response - if any.
Best wishes to you. It sounds to me as if he was interested, but was somewhat restrained because of student/teacher boundaries. If you are not in that position next semester, things could change.
None of those questions sound like he was interested. They are polite questions that people ask--even students/teachers.
It's not just the questions though, it's the other things that I mentioned in my first reply to carnivalday. I've been at university for 4 years and I'd say 99% of my tutors/lecturers have been polite; however it's the first time I've had a tutor explicitly say my work was their 'favourite' rather than just offering general praise such as 'it was excellent', for example. There's also the fact that our tutorial lasted twice the time it should have because he kept trying to ask me questions, despite the fact that there was another student waiting to see him outside. That just seems overly friendly to me, but perhaps he was being just that- friendly and I simply got confused. Thanks for your reply.
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