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It is a situation that happened in my life. Last weekend she targeted 6 weeks move in date to my place.
I suggested 10 weeks for two reasons.
1. My place isn't really physically ready to accomadate her and her stuff yet. However, we could probably squeeze it in if we had to, but it wouldnt be pretty for a short time.
2. More importantly, she hasn't said "I love you."
I was more curious about people in real life that were dating and had moved in together before saying I Love you. I am concerned about her emotional availablilty and whether or not this situation (me) is bein viewed as more of a business situation more than anything else in her eyes. I'm sure that last statement sounds way worse than I intended, but to put it bluntly on a forum, that is the most simple way to state it.
She seems like a solid woman, and she seems really into me (and I really like her). I just have some concerns. Mainly, I would prefer for her to have said the 3 words already, or at least before we decide on a move in date.
Is she in a tight financial situation, and her rental lease is up for renewal? And you've had prior concerns about her emotional availability? It seems, then, that the issue isn't so much the 3 little words, but much more important concerns. You should work these out in your relationship before committing further to this person.
And she should respect your boundaries. It sounds almost like she's taking it for granted that she can move into your place, whether it's ready or not, and whether you're ready to accept her, or not. You should be firm in saying you're simply not ready yet. How long have you two been together?
how long have you been together? This sounds like you are really rushing things. I really believe people should date for at least a year to 2 years before moving in together. people tend to be on really good behaviour the first months of a relationship, and what is the rush?
how long have you been together? This sounds like you are really rushing things. I really believe people should date for at least a year to 2 years before moving in together. people tend to be on really good behaviour the first months of a relationship, and what is the rush?
Yes. The OP's phrasing, "She seems into me" isn't encouraging. It sounds as though he's not really sure, he doesn't know her well enough to know if she's truly into him, or if she may be using him to save on her rent expenses. If she only "seems" anything, he's not ready/they're not ready to take the relationship to that level.
Are you in love with her? How long have you been a couple?
And what does "targeted 6 weeks" move in date mean? I've lived with a couple of women in my life, and we didn't target a date, and one person didn't decide to move in on a date, we decided to live together together, and then went about working it out. I'm not getting the dynamic. It doesn't sound collaborative or coming from love.
Re: move in timeline
6 weeks... she suggested march 1st. i countered with April 1st. We are deciding to live together together.
We previously discussed it a couple different times. We just hadn't discussed a date. We were working it out this pas weekend.
For the sake of a forum and my limited availablilty online to post this, I left out some details.
You can assume I want to live with her, and I really like her.
Am I "in love" ? I was really falling for her, but some things have kind of popped up in the past 2 weeks that are bothering me a bit and kind of making me apprehensive. Part of my apprehensiveness is my fault due to my personality, however I still do have some concerns about the way some situations have been handled.
Re: relationship timeline
We started dating about 2.5 months ago. Became exclusive around Thanksgiving. We have spend 6 out of 7 nights a week together, so even though we've only been together for about 2 months, we have spent a lot of time together. I met her family and some of her friends. we get along mostly well. We are quite compatible. There are many many positives inthis situation.
I have never moved this fast, and it's freaking me out a little. thats why I asked this forum the question.
Not sure if I mentioned it, but we are both in our late 30's.
Yes. The OP's phrasing, "She seems into me" isn't encouraging. It sounds as though he's not really sure, he doesn't know her well enough to know if she's truly into him, or if she may be using him to save on her rent expenses. If she only "seems" anything, he's not ready/they're not ready to take the relationship to that level.
This is an interesting thought process. I will think on this. She does compliment me and she is really sweet. But as you or someone else mentioned, its so early it is easy to be on best behavior. That is what I am afraid of.
If you and your significant other are discussing moving in together, has there typically already been the "I love you" exchange for the first time ?
Curious how many of you have moved in with your SO with the eventual goal of LTR, marraige, and kids, but didn't exchange "I Love you" (or weren't in-love) before the setting up of moving-in dates came up or maybe even before you were moved in together ?
I would assume if discussions for moving in together are taking shape for dates and locations, the I love you would have already happened. Am I wrong? Anyone with experience on this ?
Also depends on the circumstance for the move in and what the living arrangements will be. If you're close with the person but moving into a two bedroom where each of you has your own bedroom, that's when moving in wouldn't require the 143 commitment. If you're moving into and sharing one bedroom together, you better be seriously involved. If not, it will start out as a "serious" affair but something will go wrong and end up in a situation where one of you is sleeping on the couch regularly while the other is in the bedroom and telling everyone they meet and want to date that, "It's not like what it looks like, We used to be a couple when we first moved in. Now "he" sleeps on the couch and I sleep in the bedroom cause we can't get out of the lease early, blablabla...."
Much too soon to even consider living together, tell her no, continue to date if you want, move in together after you marry her, don't allow her to spend the night or keep any items in your home. If you do she will be slowly "fogetting" many things and be all moved in before you know it.
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