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Despite what people think about deserves and being lovable. There definitely people out there who if anyone would actually look at are not lovable who still manage o find someone.
Convicts in jall for violent crimes, domestic abusers, sociopaths you name it. Some of these people end up with spouses and children.
My theory on finding love is that comes down to two things:
Having realistic standards
and
Putting yourself out there
And that's it. No matter how screwed up you are there is someone who is equally screwed up.
For example, a drug addict has higher chance of finding a mate then you do right now OP. Because unlike you he isn't posting a million threads on finding someone on a forum. He's probably out there meeting female drug addicts.
Does this mean he's a better more lovable person than you? No
But because he's out there in the course of finding ways to get his fix he will probably run into a women that's hooked on drugs as well.
The absence of having another person validate your existence and/or give your life meaning via their 'love' ultimately leads a potentially unloved person to define their own existence, create meaning and love themselves. Which could be the journey that fate predetermined for them anyway.
No, there are those who don't deserve it, some people aren't worth it- for those hung up on the word "deserve," some are only, and ever will be; only worth a night of sex, or othing at all.
There is no deserve, and no luck, you just try. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.
If you put your best into it, and your whole heart, it doesn't mean the other person can and will do the same. I believe it takes patience and willingness to sacrifice instant gratification for the possibility. And also, being smart enough to know the right questions to ask and the guts to let it go if it isn't right for you.
I sound like the "Lone Ranger" or something...really, I think there are a lot of alone people who aren't at all lonely, most of the time, and a lot of really unhappy people stuck in a horrible relationship with a horrible person. Personally, I would rather be alone than stuck in a horrible relationship.
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