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31 and have had only one SERIOUS relationship that lasted a year or a bit more Infact but knew her as a FWB for a year beforehand so you could call it longer LOL.
I've been with quite a few other women for months on end but not as serious as ^^^^, so officially I've been single quite a bit but obviously that's where ONS/FWB come into play.
Why do you ask?
I think there's common desire among individuals to measure their own experience or performance against some benchmark of the collective experience or performance of others, i.e. sort of an exploratory "how'm I doing?"
You can't really measure ones love life to another and class either as normal or not
Some might think mines excessive but compared to timbers it's tame but I'm happy and I'm sure he is ( ) that's what matters
The 80 percent will say you sure as heck can measure your love life against others. Men exist in a weird Third World-like social universe where 20 percent gorge and 80 percent subsist or starve.
20 percent (approx) of the men are enjoying 80 percent of the relationships or partners.
it's easy to feel like a failure relative to that 20 percent.
the good news is that many of these self-perceived failures are actually doing quite well relative to the rest of the 80 percent in which they reside.
put another way, one might say 80 percent of men exist in a relationship desert.
you don't get it because women have a more equal distribution in that regard and thus fewer women exist in that desert.
A lot of it for me has to do with moving going to college and moving around a lot. I wasn't looking for anything serious as I knew ways would be leaving. Another thing was the economics. I didn't have much money. If i'm in a relationship, I want to go do some things.
But now things are different in both those departments. I don't look at it as some failure. Just to be in 'a' relationship with someone doesn't mean much as some have pointed out.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,149,295 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
There's no concern.
Just lack of understanding.
I don't really get the..."comparing oneself to the norm" thing but meh.
I feel you. Is there really a "norm"?
Is what is normal based on primary instincts, or what the media tells you it is?
If it is what the media tells you it is, then normal equals hype. Don't believe the hype, lol.
Everyone is different. What is normal for someone raised with low expectations, or in some jazzy metropolis, will not be normal for someone raised with high values, or in a religious community.
Don't compare yourself to others. What works for one person wont work for someone else.
55, female, one serious relationship that lasted 35 years. I happen to have been 18 when I met him, but I consider that sheer luck, and not a set age to find true love. He was 32, and had not married or had children before me. Any relationships we had before meeting each other, I look at as just passing time before we found each other.
I guess a lot depends on what each individual is looking for. Are you clear on what you want yet?
There is no rush, or no certain number of conquests you must achieve.
One thing I remember about the show 'Seinfeld' was that they always were in these perfect relationships, but found the most ridiculous reasons, like, "She has man-hands", to end those relationships. Did they really want relationships? For the sake of humor, and the continuation of the show, one would have to say they didn't.
Personally, I wasn't looking for love when it appeared before me. You probably wont be looking either. Don't overthink things. As an individual you have to know that in life, nothing goes according to a set plan. There is no template or pattern to follow. If you are looking for something to follow, I would suggest following what your head and your heart tell you.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freemkt
The 80 percent will say you sure as heck can measure your love life against others. Men exist in a weird Third World-like social universe where 20 percent gorge and 80 percent subsist or starve.
Reverse those numbers and youre closer to the truth
I don't think there is a norm where this is concerned. I've had somewhere between 3-5 relationships depending on how you look at it. I'm 39 and I've been with my husband for almost 15 years.
I'm 59 and I've been in 3 serious relationships. All occurred in my 20's and I met John when I was 27. We've been married for 30 years now and he's still the love of my life.
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) 
) that's what matters 
