Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Seems highly unusual for someone to cheat on their "first love". You do a quick rebound and then immediately start talking again with your ex. I agree that it's dumb for you to be in an exclusive relationship. You seem to just "love the one you're with" - WHOEVER that happens to be at the moment! Maybe you should just be casual and mess around for now rather than fooling yourself about getting into some committed relationship.
You don't really even know your current "boyfriend," since you barely have spent much actual lengthy, quality time together.
It sounds like you aren't good at establishing FIRM boundaries. You tend to enmesh your relationships. I used to do that. It's a REALLY sucky way to treat people.
Break up with the current dude. You're not over your ex, who I'm betting you weren't actually on a break from when you slept with the other guy.
I agree that you shouldn't be trying to be exclusive with anyone. I would read up on reflected sense of self, establishing emotional boundaries and treating other people how you would like to be treated.
You should be asking yourself why would you want to be with a man that is connecting with you while he is seeing someone else?
What sort of man has the bad judgement to want to be with a woman that is connecting with him while seeing someone else?
He should be asking himself what sort of woman wants to be with him while he is seeing someone else.
It's a mess and both of you are as bad as each other.
There is no loyalty, no respect, no honor, only ego and disloyalty. None of you should be in a relationship and the guy that is currently seeing you should go elsewhere.
Last edited by QuestOfTruth; 02-18-2016 at 09:14 AM..
I am currently dating a very kind, smart and loving man. He lives about 900 miles from me but will be back in May once he has finished his BA back home, we have decided to stay together although long distance can be hard at times. Let me give a quick back story and then proceed to the current situation I find myself in.
Before I met him, I had just broken up with my boyfriend of four years ( my first love and everything ). We had a wonderful love and the reason i left was because earlier in the year we went on a break and i slept with someone else. I felt terrible for doing that to him and even though he had let it go I couldn't stand thinking about it. He was truly good to me.
When I met my current boyfriend I was ecstatic, I kept telling myself that it was okay and that I was truly moving on from my ex (although it had only been one month). We were together for a short while before he flew away back home and I visited him twice before I started my semester at college. We love each other and are so good when we are together.
My ex and I started talking again right when I got with my current boyfriend. It was only as friends and we were so happy to be talking as friends. I went to visit him and we laughed and cried and just hung out like friends, but it always did feel a little funny.
The last time my ex and I hung out he told me he was seeing someone, i felt sick...i mean it wasn't right to feel that way, i should be happy for him, but i couldn't fathom the idea of him loving another girl.
That brought me to a realization that I'm not actually over my ex, I accept that i do still love him and he says he still loves me as well.
back to the future.
My ex and I are texting and calling and repeatedly telling one another how we miss one another. We talk about getting back together.
My current is so good to me and sweet, but my ex is just as good to me and also more responsible in certain aspects.
I'm feeling unclear about what route to take. I feel as if I never healed properly but i felt so strongly towards my new boyfriend that I accepted the weirdness of just being out of a serious relationship and fell in love with him.
Many people say that going back to your ex is a bad thing, but there are only two real routes with an ex, it could be that we just needed a break or we really aren't meant to be together and we will break up again.
I love both men, but can't make a final situation.
I would love to hear about certain situations or opinions or advice. I can answer questions to.
thank you
Been there, done that. Having two guys is a really tough situation, I completely understand that.
What experience taught me:
Neither one are the right one for you.
You THINK you love both men.
If you would fully love the ex, you wouldn't have cheated and you wouldn't still be with current guy at this moment.
If you would fully love the current guy, you wouldn't hang out with the ex.
Oh-eve is right on the money. I'm not going to make moral judgments here, but the fact that you aren't fully committed to either guy means neither is right for you, at least at this time.
I would walk away from both guys and get my own act together. You simply are not ready for a committed relationship at this time. If you continue down your current path everyone loses, your ex, your current LDR, your exes GF and most of all- you.
She had given her husband an ultimatum for their relationship that they buy a huge expensive home to prove his commitment to her.
While house hunting, she chose one that was very close to a school her kids could walk five homes away to.
Then, the tearing out of the old kitchen, flooring, etc began.
She is now dating the contractor her husband pays to finish kitchen, floors, bathrooms, etc.
She has no desire to "divorce" the husband, just yet.
She needs to get house done and another nanny in place full-time. Wants to go back to work - and the rumor mill is she is seeing an attractive attorney on the side! Or, maybe it was just a meeting for lunch.
Sounds like you and your ex deserve each other. You're both dating new people, but secretly texting one another about how much you miss each other. SO SO SO wrong. I really for the life of me don't understand why people just can't be single. I don't see how things are going to work out with the new guy anyway. Long distance is difficult enough without this complication.
If you can't choose between two people, then maybe neither of them are right. No one compares to my boyfriend. I can't imagine any scenario where I would ever be torn between him and someone else. Just be single and figure yourself out for awhile. It's not fair to this new guy.
She had given her husband an ultimatum for their relationship that they buy a huge expensive home to prove his commitment to her.
While house hunting, she chose one that was very close to a school her kids could walk five homes away to.
Then, the tearing out of the old kitchen, flooring, etc began.
She is now dating the contractor her husband pays to finish kitchen, floors, bathrooms, etc.
She has no desire to "divorce" the husband, just yet.
She needs to get house done and another nanny in place full-time. Wants to go back to work - and the rumor mill is she is seeing an attractive attorney on the side! Or, maybe it was just a meeting for lunch.
HAVE FUN.
You only live once.
What the heck?????
What kind of advice is this????
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
