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I don't want to sound over dramatic or crazy but my break up with my ex boyfriend was literally hell for me. It was very messy, a lot of back and forth, and very confusing.
I have several questions...
He had an old female friend come back into his life, and our relationship just changed from there. He ended up telling me one day that basically he really likes her, she understands him (he was going through some issues and she helped him a lot through it), and they had a lot in common. He said this wasn't fair to me and that our relationship just wasn't the same anymore so he wanted to break up. Weird how he didn't feel like this until this other woman came along but oh well. I wouldn't say he *cheated* but who knows. It sounds like he had a strong emotional connection with her even while we were still together so that kind of sucks.
I was obviously heart broken and angry, I tried to fight for him to stay but that didn't work. At first he wanted to stay with me but then he realized it would be 'better' for both of us to break up. He started dating the female friend not long after this happened (maybe a month or so) which made me realize and accept that he wanted to be with her over me, and there was no longer anything I could do.
He texted me like a week after our break up which just turned into a huge fight back and forth and I didn't want to deal with that so I just ignored him.
Another 3-4 weeks goes by and a few nights ago I again receive another text from him with a "I just wanted to see how you're doing" Out of immaturity and anger I replied with "If you love your new girlfriend so much then don't be contacting me" which he replied with something like "I do love her, but you know I'll always care about you" He also told me "Nobody could ever replace you, you'll always have a place in my heart, we both just needed to move on" And "I still have all of our pictures in my phone and still look at them and smile/cry".
my questions are basically...what in the world is going on here? Lol. I don't understand what he is doing/how he's feeling. He's never told me he's still in love with me, or that he wants to get back with me, just that he's sorry for hurting me, he still has unresolved feelings, he still cares about me, etc. He also still wants to be 'friends' but that just sounds like an emotional disaster waiting to happen. I'm mad that he's now seeing and sleeping with someone else and don't want to be reminded of that everyday, I still have feelings for him.
He is not a bad guy, but this is really frustrating me and confusing me, which just turned into more emotional arguments with him, not understanding what he's trying to get at, and after a while I just stopped replying. We haven't talked since.
He is very upset that I'm so upset and thinks I hate him, but what the hell does he expect? I do not know what in the world he expects from me/wants me to do.
1. He's the one who broke up with me, moved on with someone else, so why does he feel the need to contact me saying he's sorry and telling me he still cares? Does he actually feel this way? Or is he just trying to be nice and try and make me feel better? This is the second time he's contacted me telling me these things.
2. If he still cares and feels this way, why did he break up with me? Why has he moved on if he still has feelings for me? He seems really happy with her. I don't understand.
Any advice/opinions/input anything at all would help me out because I'm lost.
Yes, the best thing you can do is block him in everyway possible so that you can move on. He was cheating on you with her, and now that he's with her he's trying to do the same. Don't play into that. Don't let him make a fool out of you again.
Maybe someday in the far future you can be friendly, but for now you just need to cut him off, block him, end all communication. If he keeps it up and gets around your blocks, forward the messages to his girlfriend and tell her to get her man under control. That aught to put an end to it.
He's trying to make himself feel better about dumping you. And, he's possibly trying to keep things friendly enough that you might agree to hook up with him if things don't work out with the girl he left you for.
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I agree with the other posters, block him so you can heal. He is trying to make himself feel better for hurting you...he is not trying to make you feel better. Its a 100% selfish thing he is doing. What you need is space. You are at a time you get to redefine your life, think about who you want to be as a single person and who you might want to be with in the future. Its a scary and exciting time. He needs to be blocked out of it if he can't have the sense to stay away.
He's trying to make himself feel better about dumping you. And, he's possibly trying to keep things friendly enough that you might agree to hook up with him if things don't work out with the girl he left you for.
Ding, ding, ding we have a winner. Agree with the others, block and delete; it is the best way to move on.
Thousands of single guys out there and she's still asking questions about a guy that left her for another woman.
Guaranteed she's looking forward to his next text or phone call to see where this goes, depsite the fact that he treated her like a styrofoam cup he was finished using.
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