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Vision therapy helped with the constant movement. I will DM you some exercises tonight. I still have to do eye muscle exercises to keep everything aligned.
Sorry to hijack the thread, OP.
Thanks. I welcome that.
And yes. Sorry for thread hijacking. This'll be my last post on this. My apologies.
I'm not even talking about marriage or falling in love. Rather, I am just asking whether or not there is someone somewhere that would be willing to date Individual x regardless of all Individual x's flaws. The only reason I ask is because even prisoners sometimes get solicitation for dates. So, why can't random joe blow seem to get a date?
Yes. In fact, there are probably tons of people out there for everyone. If you can't get a date you're not looking in the right places.
I'm shy but I've gotten dates that haven't led to anything. If some of you women on this forum weren't married or in LTR's I'd be on you like white on rice.
There is a lesson to be learned from this statement if you are willing to do the introspection and hard work that comes from it.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CAOU812
Yes. In fact, there are probably tons of people out there for everyone. If you can't get a date you're not looking in the right places.
Personally, I am usually only interested in one person at any given time. So it isn't a matter of looking in the right place, really. It's hard to find someone for whom I have romantic feelings instead of just sexual feelings.
Casual sex would be easy for me to get if I wanted it. Prostitution is available in Parump County, Nevada, and other places, of course. I've been invited a few times to parties for people who have certain interests as well.
But I'm looking for something meaningful, with someone who has known me for a while, whom I trust and who knows my negative traits and is still interested. Just someone who cares. I dont see that happening with backwards dating. I dont know if it will happen at all.
Personally, I am usually only interested in one person at any given time. So it isn't a matter of looking in the right place, really. It's hard to find someone for whom I have romantic feelings instead of just sexual feelings.
Casual sex would be easy for me to get if I wanted it. Prostitution is available in Parump County, Nevada, and other places, of course. I've been invited a few times to parties for people who have certain interests as well.
But I'm looking for something meaningful, with someone who has known me for a while, whom I trust and who knows my negative traits and is still interested. Just someone who cares. I dont see that happening with backwards dating. I dont know if it will happen at all.
Yes. In fact, there are probably tons of people out there for everyone. If you can't get a date you're not looking in the right places.
100% agree with this...We all would like to believe we're THE one amazingly unique person on earth and therefore there could be just one other who could "fit" us, but in reality there are probably many, many, many people any given person could happily, romantically and creatively spend the rest of his or her life with.
This may sound overly practical but I don't believe our evolutionary biology and social bent (as a species) would allow for any other possibility.
But even without that theory/idea, I've simply seen it bear out in real life. You think you've lost "the one" and later (sometimes later, but much later) someone even better comes along for you. If something happens to that relationship...there's another. Again, for the real, deep connections...sure, comparatively rare. But more than one per person? I would say almost certainly, no matter who you are.
Lighten up the criteria there and have it be a question of whether there's someone just to date, just to basically get along with and now you're really broadening the possibilities.
100% agree with this...We all would like to believe we're THE one amazingly unique person on earth and therefore there could be just one other who could "fit" us, but in reality there are probably many, many, many people any given person could happily, romantically and creatively spend the rest of his or her life with.
This may sound overly practical but I don't believe our evolutionary biology and social bent (as a species) would allow for any other possibility.
But even without that theory/idea, I've simply seen it bear out in real life. You think you've lost "the one" and later (sometimes later, but much later) someone even better comes along for you. If something happens to that relationship...there's another. Again, for the real, deep connections...sure, comparatively rare. But more than one per person? I would say almost certainly, no matter who you are.
Lighten up the criteria there and have it be a question of whether there's someone just to date, just to basically get along with and now you're really broadening the possibilities.
Very true, Now I just have to find one who does not want Kids,Marriage or Living together and I will be all set.
Y'know, I have to say, it does not mean that everyone is destined for the same things, whether it is that reincarnation or Numerology exists that "guides what will occur" or any other reason. Considering all of the inequality in the world, I don't know why we think that "everyone gets a crack at everything". Haven't we seen those who are together for a long time, but for the wrong reasons? There are those who force a situation, in order to keep up with others' lives. These are not reasons for an involvement - and we have seen how most fail.
Let me tell you, I am a nice person with good attributes, attractive, had attention, met men for years and also had job offers easily, but always craved an equal, solid relationship, as I would percieve some others to have. Though there were always dating opportunities and relationships, overall it was ultimately disappointing, despite some postive aspects and learning more about myself. Now some would say "Oh, you just did not pick the right people"...(so, on top of it, it's my fault for not finding those who were "perfect" for me?) We do not know if one was abused as a child or has other problems we do not know about until more involved. I realized at some point I did not require marriage or kids and liked some time alone, but still wanted something ongoing and positive with another. Luckily, I really like my independence and am content, as I have heard some say, also having had others and pets in my life.
It takes two and there needs to be an "equality factor", a give and take, for an emotionally-balanced, mature involvement with another. It involves family history, mental health, habits, compassion, respect - a mutuality. Nothing is ever perfect even when good of course and requires both to pitch in and be equals, but when it is out of balance, it won't work. It should not be thought of as being the fault of a good woman or man, to have not ended up in an appropriate, lasting relationship. It will seem for some, that no matter how much they try or how good they are as a human, there is something restricting this experience, that it was not meant to be.
It seems that many people live together, have babies or get married with people they should not have done so with - so if someone is paired, it can appear they have "met the one", with some justifying who they're with as an appropriate partner. Some pair due to desperation or not wanting to be alone. There may be a poor couple who despite everything else, truly have love and respect for each other or a well-to-do, educated couple who have something that is not about love at all. (Then, from another standpoint, confirmed by a lot we read in these topics, women have fewer opportunities to find another, some implying that "women are useless after the age of 25-30").
Yes, some couples do appear to have something equal and genuine between them and I feel it was meant to be for them, but no, I don't feel everyone meets "the one". I have a theory, that regardless how good a person may be - or not - they are faced with different conditions and situations in life, whether due to "past lives" or whatever it may be. If we all were equal as people and had equal opportunities, it would be a different world, wouldn't it?
Last edited by In2itive_1; 03-18-2016 at 03:44 AM..
Y'know, I have to say, it does not mean that everyone is destined for the same things, whether it is that reincarnation or Numerology exists that "guides what will occur" or any other reason. Considering all of the inequality in the world, I don't know why we think that "everyone gets a crack at everything". Haven't we seen those who are together for a long time, but for the wrong reasons? There are those who force a situation, in order to keep up with others' lives. These are not reasons for an involvement - and we have seen how most fail.
Let me tell you, I am a nice person with good attributes, attractive, had attention, met men for years and also had job offers easily, but always craved an equal, solid relationship, as I would percieve some others to have. Though there were always dating opportunities and relationships, overall it was ultimately disappointing, despite some postive aspects and learning more about myself. Now some would say "Oh, you just did not pick the right people"...(so, on top of it, it's my fault for not finding those who were "perfect" for me?) We do not know if one was abused as a child or has other problems we do not know about until more involved. I realized at some point I did not require marriage or kids and liked some time alone, but still wanted something ongoing and positive with another. Luckily, I really like my independence and am content, as I have heard some say, also having had others and pets in my life.
It takes two and there needs to be an "equality factor", a give and take, for an emotionally-balanced, mature involvement with another. It involves family history, mental health, habits, compassion, respect - a mutuality. Nothing is ever perfect even when good of course and requires both to pitch in and be equals, but when it is out of balance, it won't work. It should not be thought of as being the fault of a good woman or man, to have not ended up in an appropriate, lasting relationship. It will seem for some, that no matter how much they try or how good they are as a human, there is something restricting this experience, that it was not meant to be.
It seems that many people live together, have babies or get married with people they should not have done so with - so if someone is paired, it can appear they have "met the one", with some justifying who they're with as an appropriate partner. Some pair due to desperation or not wanting to be alone. There may be a poor couple who despite everything else, truly have love and respect for each other or a well-to-do, educated couple who have something that is not about love at all. (Then, from another standpoint, confirmed by a lot we read in these topics, women have fewer opportunities to find another, some implying that "women are useless after the age of 25-30").
Yes, some couples do appear to have something equal and genuine between them and I feel it was meant to be for them, but no, I don't feel everyone meets "the one". I have a theory, that regardless how good a person may be - or not - they are faced with different conditions and situations in life, whether due to "past lives" or whatever it may be. If we all were equal as people and had equal opportunities, it would be a different world, wouldn't it?
Thank you.
You explained it perfectly. I always stood by this motto: "No matter how kind, beautiful/handsome, gentle, generous, etc. you are, the world does not owe you anything." It definitely applies to relationships. Whenever the inevitable relationship discussion comes up with friends or family, I tell them this same thing. They are so quick to throw out, "you just haven't met the right guy" or "you're too picky." "you're going end up like the crazy cat lady." (<----- Really can't stand that one.) Then proceed to tell me how awesome a girlfriend I would be.
It's so inappropriate and shows how narrow their thinking is. I believe if someone can be that open minded about there being a person out there for everyone, they should be open minded enough to believe other people's experiences will not match their own. I've heard people always say they can put themselves in other people's shoes but their own experiences still have a tendency to cloud their judgement.
My "experience" with romance, is that it never went farther than the crush phase. Something always got in the way of me having a real relationship with the few ones that I was actually attracted to. Whether they turned out to be jerks, distance, me being too shy or them simply finding another girl they liked more. I don't really feel bad about it. I'm not going to say I will "never" get to experience a real concrete relationship but that possibility won't just disappear. I understand and accept that this is just MY experience. Not everyone else's. Some, but definitely not the majority.
Some people probably can't really "fathom" that because to them it's very sad way to view reality. There is nothing really sad about not finding a partner. Depending on who you are and what you want, that is. But in general it's not really sad because it's not something that can "kill" you. I hear how wonderful real love is, and I have no doubt it probably is. But not everyone is destined to experience it like you said.
Y'know, I have to say, it does not mean that everyone is destined for the same things, whether it is that reincarnation or Numerology exists that "guides what will occur" or any other reason. Considering all of the inequality in the world, I don't know why we think that "everyone gets a crack at everything". Haven't we seen those who are together for a long time, but for the wrong reasons? There are those who force a situation, in order to keep up with others' lives. These are not reasons for an involvement - and we have seen how most fail.
Let me tell you, I am a nice person with good attributes, attractive, had attention, met men for years and also had job offers easily, but always craved an equal, solid relationship, as I would percieve some others to have. Though there were always dating opportunities and relationships, overall it was ultimately disappointing, despite some postive aspects and learning more about myself. Now some would say "Oh, you just did not pick the right people"...(so, on top of it, it's my fault for not finding those who were "perfect" for me?) We do not know if one was abused as a child or has other problems we do not know about until more involved. I realized at some point I did not require marriage or kids and liked some time alone, but still wanted something ongoing and positive with another. Luckily, I really like my independence and am content, as I have heard some say, also having had others and pets in my life.
It takes two and there needs to be an "equality factor", a give and take, for an emotionally-balanced, mature involvement with another. It involves family history, mental health, habits, compassion, respect - a mutuality. Nothing is ever perfect even when good of course and requires both to pitch in and be equals, but when it is out of balance, it won't work. It should not be thought of as being the fault of a good woman or man, to have not ended up in an appropriate, lasting relationship. It will seem for some, that no matter how much they try or how good they are as a human, there is something restricting this experience, that it was not meant to be.
It seems that many people live together, have babies or get married with people they should not have done so with - so if someone is paired, it can appear they have "met the one", with some justifying who they're with as an appropriate partner. Some pair due to desperation or not wanting to be alone. There may be a poor couple who despite everything else, truly have love and respect for each other or a well-to-do, educated couple who have something that is not about love at all. (Then, from another standpoint, confirmed by a lot we read in these topics, women have fewer opportunities to find another, some implying that "women are useless after the age of 25-30").
Yes, some couples do appear to have something equal and genuine between them and I feel it was meant to be for them, but no, I don't feel everyone meets "the one". I have a theory, that regardless how good a person may be - or not - they are faced with different conditions and situations in life, whether due to "past lives" or whatever it may be. If we all were equal as people and had equal opportunities, it would be a different world, wouldn't it?
I got this from my best friend this past weekend. He was stating that if you want a relationship, maybe I should bend a little more. He wasn't wrong in saying that. I even told him the 4.5 month relationship I had just got out of, I had bent so much that I felt alone in the relationship. Towards the end I was unhappy and suffering in silence. I was just going through the motions, because I was looking ahead hoping the situation would have gotten better in January. Her and I talked in January and her schedule was going to be even more hectic, so it was better for us to end the relationship. Her and I have since talked on several different occasions and both have realized that not only were we not a good fit with how we felt about certain things, but also that the timing was just poor for us. She has several personal things going on that she's been hesitant to work on, but is moving in that direction.
Honestly, I can't pinpoint what the h3ll is wrong with my love life. It's the one thing that I haven't had the kind of success I thought I would have. At times I feel I've made all these right steps to get closer to a good match for me, but it just hasn't happened. From my most recent relationship, I realized just how quickly I can become unhappy with someone, yet still stick it out with hope. For that alone, I realized that I had patience, which is something I haven't had a lot of in the past.
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