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Probably the same way you can't concentrate knowing that someone isn't there for you. People have all kinds reasons why they do the things they do, one should give that a thought once in a while.
This question is directed toward Men, about Finances, and the role a Man should take as "Head of Household."
You are living with your Girlfriend (whom you have asked to Marry), and you make 3 times what she makes. The agreement upon move-in is that you two will split the bills 50/50.
Your Live in Girlfriend does all of the housework, buys all of the groceries, even does the Yard Work, and is a Single Parent to a child from a previous Marriage. You both Work Full-Time Jobs.
As a Man, would you feel bad about only contributing half, (considering you make 3 times as much as your future wife)?
As the Man of the house, If a bill in the amount of $125 is due, would you give your Live in Girlfriend EXACTLY $62.50?
Would you ask your "Live In Girlfriend" if she needed help with any extra financial or household expenses, or would you offer to pay more than your share of the household bills?
If i loved her (and she loved me), I would offer to pay her bills and mine and be very grateful for her love and the contributions she makes to our household and relationship. If she declined this and wanted to contribute more, I would respect her wishes and be even more grateful. I would also contribute more effort to household and family work.
Personally I wouldn't be thrilled with an arrangement where my partner didn't share the chores, especially if I worked full time, too. He sounds selfish. Are you sure he's not just your housemate?
I want a man who participates in our home life, beyond providing sexual services. Mutual generousity goes a long way to build and maintain a relationship. You can't be doing all of the work.
I want a man who participates in our home life, beyond providing sexual services. Mutual generousity goes a long way to build and maintain a relationship. You can't be doing all of the work.
This. Love is about generosity, not whipping out the calculator every day to see if the 50/50 rule has been abided by.
I can't believe that nobody's brought this up, but here's my opinion. This guy still has one foot out the door. He's enjoying living in a home rather than an apartment for probably the same or less than what he was paying alone and he's "getting the milk for free" all the while. He's letting this situation roll until you wise up and throw him out. The proposal was just his way in.
The irony is that while she's providing everything but 1/2 the expenses, the divorce trolls were accusing her of angling to confiscate half his assets through marriage and eventual divorce. She has as much to lose in the bargain as he does, if not more, considering that she doesn't make enough to buy another home if she were to lose hers in a divorce. Pre-nups all around for this couple, if they even make it to the church, which looks doubtful.
I could hardly get past the thinking that a man should be taking the 'role' as 'head of the household', and quite frankly if that is the type of guy you were looking for it sounds like you found him.
This sounds like a roommate or boarder, not a love interest. Someone making a relationship with a single parent accepts that children are a part of the package. No BS about insisting that since the child isn't your own child you feel no consideration for the child's well being financially.
If you feel that 50/50 sounds like the way it should be then go with 50/50 on the income, not the expenses. You contribute 50% of your income and he can contribute 50% of his to a 'household account. Anything left after bills at the end of the year goes to a vacation, either as a family or as a romantic getaway. If he insists that is 'not fair' I would run fast and far, otherwise your life will be spent accounting for every penny you spend on yourself and your child.
Or if you really want to see which way the land lies figure up how much you have invested in your home and furnishings and present him with a bill for half. Offer to let him make monthly payments until he 'catches up' with what you have invested so far.
This is why I avoid live-in arrangements. 50/50 is the correct way to go, but everybody has their own definition of what equal partnership and equal responsibilities should be.
I would split bills...my house is my mortgage, so I wouldn't want anything for that unless she absolutely HAS to volunteer to pay towards it in place of the rent I would be saving her. Gas/electricity/water is all affected by her being present, so it's only common sense to split these 50/50 or have her make-up the increase should it go up astronomically. TV and entertainment expenses should be negotiated and split as well since both people will be using whatever is agreed upon.
Food should either be 50/50 and bought together outright, or costs split for meals and shared foods with individual purchases being bought and kept on the side with your own money.
House chores are whatever you want them to be. I do all of my own stuff, so none of that really phases me; I don't see why two people can't evenly just go about things as they need to. But overall, living alone is far....far...far easier and better for a guy to do in my oppinion though.
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People have all kinds reasons why they do the things they do, one should give that a thought once in a while.
