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Towards the end of high school my friends and I wrote out lists of qualities we wanted in a boyfriend. At the top of my list I wrote: high intelligence.
That was the only thing I was truly concerned about... I included it only because the boy I had fallen in love at band camp the summer before junior year was, indeed, the smartest and most educated boy I had ever met. His parents were doctors. We didn't have any of those types of kids where I grew up. Talking to him was like opening a door to a whole new world. I loved it.
In college I had dated a man who grew up from very poor immigrant family, but he was incredibly bright and was on a full scholarship and earning an engineering degree. I really liked that. Unfortunately, you can receive an education, yet remain uneducated... maybe a few of you know what I mean when I say that...
well, in any case, it didn't work.
The man I went on to marry was every bit as articulate and intelligent as the boy I met in high school. Also an immigrant, but unlike my ex-fiance, this man came from a very educated family with a little bit of money. He was working as an engineer when we got married, but has since earned a PhD, worked as a research professor and a project manager at a high tech company. He's been interviewing for an executive position last couple weeks... it would put us in the top 1%.. but it's in China and we decided last night we're happier here (and staying in the top 6% ).
I don't know if it matters too much what he does. I was happy when he was making half his current income as a college professor. I was happy when he was making half that income as a freshly graduated engineer... I was happy with him when he was making $27k as a graduate student....
I'm single but in the market for a husband. It absolutely would matter what the profession and income of my future hubby is. I'm looking for a particular lifestyle and want to be around certain types of people. I don't want to live in a crappy neighborhood in a shyte looking property. I don't want to be around trashy people. My parents were comfortable middle class. I expect to be same if not better. Ideally better. So of course somebody with a good education, good income. No, I don't want somebody whom I have to $ support. NOPE. No freeloading loafer men for me.
I honestly do care about the profession. Some professions totally put me off for whatever reason (like ones working directly with preparing dead bodies), while I also don't want someone who is away at work all the time or is in a very dangerous profession/a profession that puts them in danger more than usual. I would also hate my spouse to be a business owner; nearly everyone in my family owns businesses and, while they make very good money, it takes heavy tolls on them that I don't want my spouse to endure. Preferably, my spouse has a job he/she enjoys doing.
As for income, I don't really care for it, although another poster made a great point about income matching the debt they come into the relationship with. After all I cannot be too picky, I'm in school to be a public school teacher, something I always dreamed about, and people around me seem to say that many women wouldn't want to commit to a spouse with such a profession.
I was raised in the era when most women only went to college to snag a professional husband. This worked for me, however the professional man was not much fun to live with. Husband number two, made his own successful business from pure guts and passion.
Bottom line is, I want a man who is passionate about his work, and who is an alpha. I don't care if he owns a line of garbage trucks, a car wash, or if he's the best brain surgeon in town, either way, it works for me.
I'm single but in the market for a husband. It absolutely would matter what the profession and income of my future hubby is. I'm looking for a particular lifestyle and want to be around certain types of people. I don't want to live in a crappy neighborhood in a shyte looking property. I don't want to be around trashy people. My parents were comfortable middle class. I expect to be same if not better. Ideally better. So of course somebody with a good education, good income. No, I don't want somebody whom I have to $ support. NOPE. No freeloading loafer men for me.
Your post has me laughing. Not that what you want is bad. Those are all great things. I always say go for your dreams. I would ask what are you doing to make sure that you can attract that kind of person?
I am reminded by a joke.
This one guy is sitting there looking about as depressed as can be. A friend asked what the problem was.
The depressed guy said he had spent years looking for the perfect girl. He then says he finally found her.
The friend says, if you found the perfect girl why are you so deppressed? You should be happy.
This sad sap tells his friend that he was happy at first, untill she told him she was looking for the perfect man.
I was raised in the era when most women only went to college to snag a professional husband. This worked for me, however the professional man was not much fun to live with. Husband number two, made his own successful business from pure guts and passion. Bottom line is, I want a man who is passionate about his work, and who is an alpha. I don't care if he owns a line of garbage trucks, a car wash, or if he's the best brain surgeon in town, either way, it works for me.
You speak a truth that resonates with me!
My mom even bought my husband a shirt that says "Alpha" on it!
I have been married 3x. I had a husband who was in a rock band and made just enough to get by. I had a husband who liked his work just "OK" and made a typical middle class salary. I had a husband who made really a lot of money and tolerated his job.
So for me the answer is how well the job supports the mutual agreed upon lifestyle so the whole family is happy. Best when spouse loves his work but for me the first consideration is the lifestyle issue.
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