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I'm wondering if you have any preference, cares, or concerns about your spouses profession. Does it matter to you if they are a $16/hr truck driver or an $60/hr engineer designing jet aircraft? Or a business executive, or a maid cleaning hotel rooms?
My preference is that we both make salaries in the same ballpark. I've just seen too many couples have problems when one earned a lot more than the other. I guess if I had ever wanted children, I'd have a different view of that, because someone would be staying home. But I've always been in dual-income-relationships. I wouldn't care if he made a little less than I do, but I know that for a lot of men that would be a problem, so I guess it's best if he earned a little more than me. But to me, more important than his income is his values about how he handles money. I learned a lot about myself, and how I need to be with someone who is not a spender, who saves, and is careful with money. The "opposites attract" thing does not work with me when it comes to money management values.
I have not had a spouse, but I've been in LTRs, even one that lasted longer than a lot of marriages. What I learned is that I absolutely must have a partner who works outside the home, if we live together. My ex took a work-at-home job in between two normal jobs, and it drove. me. crazy. He was home all day, and had work papers all over the house. Deliveries for the job came to the door every day, and the house was full of "crap." I even bought him a rolling desk-organized-storage-thingy to keep all his work stuff and then PUT IT AWAY at the end of each work day. But he couldn't do that, and there were papers everywhere. I also began to hate seeing him relaxing in his pajamas when I was rushing around getting ready for work. Then he'd want to take his shower exactly when I needed to take mine.
I don't care about the type of work a partner does, but if it's blue-collar, he would at least still have to be a very smart guy. I would prefer an intelligent white-collar or blue-collar worker over a not-so-bright or knowledgeable white-collar or blue-collar guy. So he can be a truck driver, fine, but he'd better kick my but on Jeopardy.
Oh, and I would never again trust having partner who works in a social/entertainment kind of job, because there can be a lot of flirting happening and relationships that are not just professional. So no guys in the music industry who have to go to concerts all the time. No guys who work in bars or own bars. I'm by nature a person who does not get jealous, but I ran into too many situations with that kind of job with past partners that just really made me uncomfortable. Sure, a guy can work in that setting and be perfectly trustworthy and faithful, but he just would not be with me.
Before I was married, I knew I wanted a college educated guy, because I was college educated, I guess. I really didn't think about it too much, but knew I wouldn't be interested in someone with little formal education.
Other than that, I didn't really think about occupation. I have been proud of my DH's accomplishments in his field, though. I still am, actually.
There are so many variables that this is a hard question.
As for me, I'm married to a woman who is pretty timid and people take advantage of that. As a result, I don't like her getting pushed around on a job. She wanted to try writing about 8 years ago from home and when she was between contracts or not working on her own stuff wanted to be free to see friends, go for days at a time to visit her folks, help out here and there... So we tried it and while she doesn't make much money (and hence we live in a 900 SF house) she is very happy. And when wifey happy, the world is happy. I am very glad she works for herself.
I'm wondering if you have any preference, cares, or concerns about your spouses profession. Does it matter to you if they are a $16/hr truck driver or an $60/hr engineer designing jet aircraft? Or a business executive, or a maid cleaning hotel rooms?
Soooo...I've gotta ask: What is it with you and career status? This is your 3rd post about truck drivers and career choices.
Profession shouldn't really matter - what should matter is if the person is a good person with a strong work ethic.
Soooo...I've gotta ask: What is it with you and career status? This is your 3rd post about truck drivers and career choices.
2nd post (one was posted in the wrong thread by mistake, and I deleted the content). First was directed at parents asking what their opinion of their kids careers, second was posted about people's opinion of their spouses careers.
I don't care about the type of work a partner does, but if it's blue-collar, he would at least still have to be a very smart guy. I would prefer an intelligent white-collar or blue-collar worker over a not-so-bright or knowledgeable white-collar or blue-collar guy. So he can be a truck driver, fine, but he'd better kick my but on Jeopardy.
Oh, and I would never again trust having partner who works in a social/entertainment kind of job, because there can be a lot of flirting happening and relationships that are not just professional. So no guys in the music industry who have to go to concerts all the time. No guys who work in bars or own bars. I'm by nature a person who does not get jealous, but I ran into too many situations with that kind of job with past partners that just really made me uncomfortable. Sure, a guy can work in that setting and be perfectly trustworthy and faithful, but he just would not be with me.
If I were out there, I'd be concerned about the characteristics of the job, not the money. At this point in my life, I would not get seriously involved with anyone whose job requires extended travel, absences, secrets, or use of force or violence. That rules a lot of people out, from military and law enforcement to musicians and international aid workers. Dates, sure. But no commitments.
Some honorable professions do not pay much: minister, social worker, etc. It would be okay if he did that. I care a LOT more about intelligence, integrity, and compassion than I care about salary.
At this point in my life, I would not get seriously involved with anyone whose job requires extended travel, absences, secrets, or use of force or violence. That rules a lot of people out, from military and law enforcement to musicians and international aid workers. Dates, sure. But no commitments.
absolute agree with this. too much opportunity and temptation in certain occupations wither female or male.
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