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Me and my girlfriend of almost 4 years just broke up a couple weeks ago...after the first two weeks of crying and begging her to come back and her ignoring me, we started talking again. We have been talking as friends and stuff like that here lately, I convinced her to Skype with me last night so we could talk about the relationship. She insisted that we take a break, we can try again in June (about 2 months from now). She kept saying that she loves me so much and cares for me and can't imagine being with anyone else, and that we will get back together again for sure. She did her best to reassure me of that, and I believe her.
She just said that she needs these 2 months to work on herself and I should take them and work on myself as well, that we were each other's only source of happiness and that is why our relationship fell apart. And I agree with her, we both pushed our family/friends away and focused on nothing but each other - and the small things, any imperfections at all, would turn into a fight. I really believe that she will give me another chance after these 2 months, but I just want some advice from some outsiders. Should I respect her wishes of taking a break and not contact her until June? Or should I try to convince her of something else? Thanks in advance.
Me and my girlfriend of almost 4 years just broke up a couple weeks ago...after the first two weeks of crying and begging her to come back and her ignoring me, we started talking again. We have been talking as friends and stuff like that here lately, I convinced her to Skype with me last night so we could talk about the relationship. She insisted that we take a break, we can try again in June (about 2 months from now). She kept saying that she loves me so much and cares for me and can't imagine being with anyone else, and that we will get back together again for sure. She did her best to reassure me of that, and I believe her.
She just said that she needs these 2 months to work on herself and I should take them and work on myself as well, that we were each other's only source of happiness and that is why our relationship fell apart. And I agree with her, we both pushed our family/friends away and focused on nothing but each other - and the small things, any imperfections at all, would turn into a fight. I really believe that she will give me another chance after these 2 months, but I just want some advice from some outsiders. Should I respect her wishes of taking a break and not contact her until June? Or should I try to convince her of something else? Thanks in advance.
Heck yes, you should respect her wishes.
Think about it... do you REALLY want to be with someone you have to BEG and "convince" to stay??????
Chances are good that there's someone else. Its been my experience (and I haven't been wrong yet) when someone asks for a break, it means let me date this other person and if it doesn't work out I call you in a couple months, or sooner.
I misspoke. I did not beg her to stay while on Skype, I begged her to stay right after she broke up with me a month or so ago....that stage has passed. From what she told me on Skype, she does want to be with me and does love me, but just wants a 2 month break. And I am not sure how to handle that, I just don't understand it. Looking for words of wisdom.
And I appreciate all your responses, however I am 100% sure that it is not because of someone else. Thanks!
I misspoke. I did not beg her to stay while on Skype, I begged her to stay right after she broke up with me a month or so ago....that stage has passed. From what she told me on Skype, she does want to be with me and does love me, but just wants a 2 month break. And I am not sure how to handle that, I just don't understand it. Looking for words of wisdom.
And I appreciate all your responses, however I am 100% sure that it is not because of someone else. Thanks!
Frankly, the timeline doesn't matter. That's not the point.
She has told you and continues to tell you what she wants. She does not want to be with you right now.
This is the most frustrating relationship to be in. One person has feelings or is in love, and the other person isn't. It sucks, but a relationship can only work if both people have the same feelings.
Leave her alone. If she still wants a relationship, she will be back. If not, then it wasn't meant to be.
I think she is trying to let you down easy and the "two months" buys her some more time. I don't think there is necessarily someone else, but she's trying to put some distance between the two of you. But don't freak out over that the act desperate to get back with her. Try to focus on other things for two months and then see what happens, knowing that she MIGHT tell you she doesn't want to be with you. If she does, you have to respect that.
I think she is trying to let you down easy and the "two months" buys her some more time. I don't think there is necessarily someone else, but she's trying to put some distance between the two of you. But don't freak out over that the act desperate to get back with her. Try to focus on other things for two months and then see what happens, knowing that she MIGHT tell you she doesn't want to be with you. If she does, you have to respect that.
I don't think she is trying to let me down easy. She promised me that I will have another chance after these two months have passed, and I am (foolishly?) holding onto that. We both agreed that we will not contact each other throughout these 2 months, and give each other space.
Her reasoning for taking this break is that our problems as a couple were never solved with talking - we had excellent communication and always talked when we were bothered in any way, but obviously some problems were not fixed by talking, together. And she is saying that by trying to solve the problems independently maybe we will be more successful, in the end. Not sure.
Hell, maybe you are right. Just trying to stay optimistic.
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