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I live in Indianapolis and have been here for two years, but for a major city, people seem to marry young and finding a single woman around my age (30) with no kids and a decent or better job is like finding a unicorn.
Even among younger girls, it's not uncommon to have someone that's 20 with a kid or two. There seems to be a heavy focus here on marrying fairly young and starting families.
I've lived in several states, but never any transplant heavy areas or very large cities where you'll find a larger amount of career-focused people.
Do you think there are significant differences in the dating market geographically?
A lot of people swear up and down it's a Midwest thing, but in my experience (and I'm a rurally born and raised Midwesterner, and one who did not marry until 37 - to a fellow Midwestern, never-married 41-year old - or become a parent until 38), it's much more a rural/small town versus urban/suburban thing, regardless of region. Majority socially conservative versus socially liberal plays in as well, which also has a lot of overlap with rural/small town v. urban suburban.
But for every person who says, "The midwest is totally like that!" you'll find people who say, "Yeah, it's like that in [the south, my small town in Idaho/Maine/South Carolina/Texas/wherever]." People will post that it's "not like that" in [fill in the blank with location on either coast], but they're really talking about cities on either coast. Find a small town in California, New England, wherever, and you're going to find a lower median age of marrying/starting families, in most cases [barring a few other variables...outliers like small town college communities being a big exception].
Last edited by TabulaRasa; 04-06-2016 at 03:51 PM..
I'm in an area where there is no shortage of single men, but dating is still a nightmare if you are a single woman above 25 because men a) want sex right away and b) want a homemaker type, which just turns most women off entirely. Almost every woman you meet who is single complains about how awful it is. I've really never lived anywhere this bad, to the extent that I don't even bother here because it's not even worth it.
Yeah, I lived in two places in Indiana. Complete hell. It's in the upper midwest but its more like the South. I got out of both places (Ft Wayne and Evansville) fast. Heck, even driving through there is depressing. I had to go to Indy often for conferences/events. Ugh.
Only reason I go back every is Three Floyds.
Oh Gawd, I agree. I absolutely hate Ohio and Indiana--depressing just like you said. People do marry young, not many opportunities, backwards, just not my cup of tea.
I'm glad my parents moved us to Chicago as we were approaching teenage years.
We have family that live in Indiana and Ohio, and we still rarely visit. Everytime we do, it's depressing.
No, they wouldn't. The Bay Area is really bad for late 30s / 40s dating for straight guys by all accounts. Just, horrible. Worst city I've ever lived for it, and the people I know still there agree. You would think finding some cool woman up for a hike or kayaking and a beer after wouldn't be that hard, or someone to check out some bands, but no, totally horrible.
Now East Coast cities or places like Chicago: pure gold.
The few guys I know in the Bay Area in that age range are active daters. They don't have any trouble finding women their age to date. With the very diverse and active music scene, plus all the outdoor recreation groups, several of which have dedicated singles events, and other singles events like the after-work weekly cocktail hours in GG Park, and the like, not to mention the general friendliness of people on the street and in stores, it's a lot easier to meet potential dates in the East Bay and SF than other places, like *shudder* Seattle.
A lot of people swear up and down it's a Midwest thing, but in my experience (and I'm a rurally born and raised Midwesterner, and one who did not marry until 37 - to a fellow Midwestern, never-married 41-year old - or become a parent until 38), it's much more a rural/small town versus urban/suburban thing, regardless of region. Majority socially conservative versus socially liberal plays in as well, which also has a lot of overlap with rural/small town v. urban suburban.
But for every person who says, "The midwest is totally like that!" you'll find people who say, "Yeah, it's like that in [the south, my small town in Idaho/Maine/South Carolina/Texas/wherever]." People will post that it's "not like that" in [fill in the blank with location on either coast], but they're really talking about cities on either coast. Find a small town in California, New England, wherever, and you're going to find a lower median age of marrying/starting families, in most cases [barring a few other variables...outliers like small town college communities being a big exception].
Yes. In this thread alone, you see conflicts.
Rural vs. urban? Definitely.
Region vs. region? Much less so, and I actually feel as if it still comes back to Rural vs. Urban, as some areas of the country have more major metros packed more closely together, so the entire region is almost treated as "urban" or "rural", depending on how closely the metros are to each other.
Region vs. region? Much less so, and I actually feel as if it still comes back to Rural vs. Urban, as some areas of the country have more major metros packed more closely together, so the entire region is almost treated as "urban" or "rural", depending on how closely the metros are to each other.
Yeah, people were mentioning Ohio earlier, and I grew up in the suburbs of an Ohio city, which has different options than in a small, rural town where the main pastimes for youths are drugs and teen pregnancy. Not as cosmopolitan as the coasts, but still more access to cultured, educated, professional people.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 04-07-2016 at 03:38 PM..
Here in Toronto Canada, it is worser than Indianapolis, lots of old single people here, and the ones who are currently taken are rude to any guy who even takes a glance at their wife or any husband, young people are left stranded with being left I the friend zone and not knowing or also confused if they are interested in a romantic relationship.
Yeah, people were mentioning Ohio earlier, and I grew up in the suburbs of a city, which has different options than in a small, rural town where the main pastimes for youths are drugs and teen pregnancy. Not as cosmopolitan as the coasts, but still better than nothing.
Heroine and teen moms are the norm here. Actually remember back in school seeing a girl in middle school, 6th grade, with a child.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
The few guys I know in the Bay Area in that age range are active daters. They don't have any trouble finding women their age to date. With the very diverse and active music scene, plus all the outdoor recreation groups, several of which have dedicated singles events, and other singles events like the after-work weekly cocktail hours in GG Park, and the like, not to mention the general friendliness of people on the street and in stores, it's a lot easier to meet potential dates in the East Bay and SF than other places, like *shudder* Seattle.
People are not really friendly in the Bay Area. They think they are. They pretend to be friendly. But they're fake nice. It's a facade. Now, the upper midwest is really friendly. Politeness and friendliness are non synonyms.
No, the majority of middle age dudes I know in the Bay Area abhor dating there. It seems good for 20 something and early 30s peoples, but older, not at all...
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