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I'd like to think that but I think too many of us are going to give up for that to happen, unless we are posting specifically for LC's benefit.
I, for one, feel banging my head against the wall would be less painful than this thread has become.
Swan Dive, you blew it. We told you that already. She's cold because you didn't make a move. Of course, she's still going to go through the motions of being civil. But she took the risk of opening the door, to say "hey, I'm interested." And how did you respond? YOU REJECTED HER.
This isn't a soap opera with plot twists and cliffhangers. This is real life. Quite frankly, this girl deserves better than someone who views her as a game trophy ("I'll go in for the kill next time I see her") who is being played with for your own amusement. It's not entertaining, nor is it interesting.
Unless you take rbohm's advice, complete with scripted sentence below, please don't update this anymore. Otherwise, stop pretending you were ever going to ask her out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rbohm
so here is what you do, THE VERY NEXT TIME you see her walk up to her and say
"i have been an idiot for the last month where you are concerned, and i want to change that. how about we have lunch sometime?"
How can get her to change that? as in not giving up?
she is sorta cold now.It's not the best time to ask her out.
I need to show interest again. I cant ask yet.
She needs to know that I'm interested. I can only think of more flirty talks in the gym to start.
At best you've shown you're not interested, at worst, you like to play headgames. There isn't anything to salvage at this point. I don't know any woman who has started dating a guy who behaved like this toward her.
People here can be curt sometimes OP. They make suggestions that morph into expectations that they don't place on themselves and then act personally injured when the suggestion/expectation isn't acted on.
None of that happened in this thread.
You're either a very successful troll or you're currently incapable of seeing how bizarrely out of touch with norms you are. I don't mean the latter to be cruel, but when someone can't see how out of step they are, it is sometimes helpful for someone to point it out, the way every single person in this thread has done.
You're wrong about everything that has transpired. It matters why, but none of us here can deal with the why. Only you can. If you really think that farting around waiting for this perfect opening, the one different from the dozens of perfect openings that were presented to you, is how it's done, you're currently beyond help here. This thread was never about eye contact or timing or any other possibly legitimate aspect of connecting with people. It was about your either innocent but still pathological need to avoid doing something at all costs, or your less than innocent and still pathological need to have people look at and listen to you. Figure out which happened here and then figure out how to stop being that guy.
You're currently beyond help here. I keep saying "currently" because any reasonably intelligent person can change his behavior at least a bit, and that's all you needed to do here. That you didn't, and that you continue to "update" us on the broken clock that hasn't changed in a month, are both symptomatic of whatever pathology drives you. You have work to do, away from this site or one like it.
This is my second and last post in this thread or any thread you start until you bring something here that makes at least a little bit of sense.
swan dive, you can still turn this around, ASK HER OUT ALREADY!!!!! you have screwed around far too long and now she is upset that you havent returned her interest in you. how many times has she asked to talk to you in the past month? each time that was her TELLING YOU TO ASK HER OUT. and now you wonder why she is being cold to you?
basically you have been screwing up and making excuses for screwing up.
so here is what you do, THE VERY NEXT TIME you see her walk up to her and say
"i have been an idiot for the last month where you are concerned, and i want to change that. how about we have lunch sometime?"
do not ********** up.
Regardless I don't think I have blown it. I do think it is save able because she has some flirty behaviour still. The eye contact is still happening and the leaning in to me when we speak . I unquestionably think that she thinks I rejected her
When I brought up her asking to talk she acted like she couldn't remember. She asked twice, at first I thought she genuinely did not remember. But now I think she remembers but acted like it never happened. Like covering it up thinking she was rejected.
The problem with asking her out now is that there is slight tension now. It may not go over well. I need her in a positive state.
You guys say ask her out now but a part of me thinks that I need to flirt more and imply that I am interested.
She is still flirty but less than before. There's slight tension here, if I asked her out now would she blow me off?
Not sure what to do. The tension worries me on how she would respond.
You are writing as if you have some ongoing relationship with her. It's all in your head.
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