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It only matters as far as I do not make enough to support two people, so he has to be able to support himself.
If either one of us made a ton of money, it would depend on what each person's lifestyle and expectations are. If he's making two or three times more than I am and likes to spend his money on expensive outings, he'd have to understand that he can't expect me to be able to go along and pay half. My last SO understood that about dining out, and understood that I was not going to be able to plunk $1,000 down on gifts for him for gift-giving occasions. I made a lot more than my ex-hub and I understood that about him, as well. (Just to head off the brigade of mad-lads who will try to pull a gender card here.)
But he does have to have some degree of desire to take care of himself and steer his own ship. That obviously requires money. It did for me too.
My now-DH made less than I did when we married, which was fine. All the money went into one pot anyway. As for boyfriends prior, some made the same as I did, some less, some more.
But he does have to have some degree of desire to take care of himself and steer his own ship. That obviously requires money. It did for me too.
My now-DH made less than I did when we married, which was fine. All the money went into one pot anyway. As for boyfriends prior, some made the same as I did, some less, some more.
Save me some money from your pot JK
The only reason I ask was because I was reading a survey of If It really matters that much how much someone makes nowadays.
Financial wealth is never a bad thing, althou everyone values it to some degree.
But then some people were talking about " Money doesn't buy happiness" so they value other parts of a relationship but money would be like in the middle.
Money is a little important because that affects housing, retirement, travel, etc, but on the whole how he handles money is more important that how much of it he has.
Not to me. What matters most is how I feel in their presence and the depth of the level in which we both connect. Money comes and goes, but Time is our greatest resource. The truest test (for me) is if we can kick it happily together w/out spending a dime. Only then can I fully invest my time.
It matters if you allow the disparity to get inside your head. If that happens, insecurity will take hold and you will focus on it more than you should. Be satisfied and proud if the other person in your life is doing very well.
Relationship means partnership and both should be mindful of that.
I will almost always significantly out earn any man that I date or marry...unless he is already very wealthy (via inheritance or savings) or is in the same profession as me (or something similar)..
That being said, I don't have any illusions about what he will be able to handle.
I'm a very down to earth person, I live well below my means, and never throw my salary in anyone's face...and rarely do I disclose how much I earn. Nevertheless, I've dated a few men in the past (my ex boyfriend of several years, included) who said they didn't not have a problem with my salary...but who were all very insecure about how much I earned vs. them.
It caused unnecessary strain and strife, when there honesty didn't need to be any.
So, it's an issue if someone makes it an issue. Unfortunately, all a couple needs is one person to feel insecure or to make a problem out of the income disparity for it to really create an irrevocable nail and subsequent crack, in the relationship's foundation.
If both are working, the collective income coming into the family is all that counts. Bit i know, men take it as a hit to their egos.
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