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I got an appointment with a lawyer. I am set to go over the legalities and facts of what a prenup entails with her. However, my gf says that I have to choose between her and wanting a prenup in a future marriage. She says that either I accept her for who she is and we get married like I promised we would, and without the prenup. If I say she has to come to an agreement on a prenup with me she walks, no matter how sweet the prenup deal is.
She says she will not sign one, no matter what is in the prenup for her. So I have to choose between marrying her without one, or choose to not marry without a pre-nup, but she won't allow me to meet with the lawyer next week before I can make a decision as to what is best. She will not do couples counseling either, marriage, this summer like I promised, or nothing she says.
I have to choose love and marriage over a prenup she said. Do you think I am being shallow and materialistic for wanting a prenup? What should I do based on her giving me this response? I love her and don't want to lose her, but I do want to meet the attorney first to see about my assets. What should I do to be fair to her?
I think you are continuing to pursue a relationship with an incompatible SO, and that your considerable persistence ought to be directed at a more worthy goal.
I got an appointment with a lawyer. I am set to go over the legalities and facts of what a prenup entails with her. However, my gf says that I have to choose between her and wanting a prenup in a future marriage. She says that either I accept her for who she is and we get married like I promised we would, and without the prenup. If I say she has to come to an agreement on a prenup with me she walks, no matter how sweet the prenup deal is.
She says she will not sign one, no matter what is in the prenup for her. So I have to choose between marrying her without one, or choose to not marry without a pre-nup, but she won't allow me to meet with the lawyer next week before I can make a decision as to what is best. She will not do couples counseling either, marriage, this summer like I promised, or nothing she says.
I have to choose love and marriage over a prenup she said. Do you think I am being shallow and materialistic for wanting a prenup? What should I do based on her giving me this response? I love her and don't want to lose her, but I do want to meet the attorney first to see about my assets. What should I do to be fair to her?
How unromantic. If a man asked me to sign a prenup, I'd of ended it right there. My man knows that his money is my money and my money is his money. Is she worth it is the question? My man says I am. He don't care all he wants is me! How awesome is that? You made her feel like you may one day get divorced. You were very unromantic. On the other hand maybe she had in the back of her head she wants half already. I'd make this a long engagement and think some more for sure.
Am I being really unromantic. I don't mean to be.
I even asked my two friends on their opinion. I told them that because of my past experiences, I vowed to get a prenup, after I have had been taken advantage of in the past.
One friend said that she agrees that if I break my how, I'll end up loosing my self respect, since it's the vow I made to myself, and your vows make you who you are to yourself, she said.
The other friend disagreed and he said that I am letting my past experiences put my gf in the same category as those other women before, and that's not fair to her, and I am putting too much emphasis on the vow, rather than love and happiness together. But the other friend disagreed saying that by keeping the vow, I am not putting her in a category and it's not about her.
But when I made the vow, I didn't say I only vow to let certain people of a lower category not be in a position to take advantage of me. I vowed never to let anyone period.
Was this bad or unfair of me?
As for going to counseling, my gf is very upset and angry about this, and I did promise to marry her before, saying we would get married this summer. So I do not have time to go counseling and have to make a decision quick to move forward or not.
I love and feel I cannot live without her. But at the same time, I feel like in my relationship experiences, I have given in on other people's terms too much, to the point where it effected me before, and I feel I for once need to have a term for myself out of principle. Is this being unfair to her, or putting her in a bad category? Of course I trust her, I just feel it's my turn to get something on one of my terms for once in my dating life.
What we think and how we feel about the situation doesn't really matter. What matters is how you feel. If you and your girlfriend cannot come to an agreement about the prenup then your beliefs are simply incompatible and that's that. You've spent way too much time over thinking the situation.
I even asked my two friends on their opinion. I told them that because of my past experiences, I vowed to get a prenup, after I have had been taken advantage of in the past.
One friend said that she agrees that if I break my how, I'll end up loosing my self respect, since it's the vow I made to myself, and your vows make you who you are to yourself, she said.
The other friend disagreed and he said that I am letting my past experiences put my gf in the same category as those other women before, and that's not fair to her, and I am putting too much emphasis on the vow, rather than love and happiness together. But the other friend disagreed saying that by keeping the vow, I am not putting her in a category and it's not about her.
But when I made the vow, I didn't say I only vow to let certain people of a lower category not be in a position to take advantage of me. I vowed never to let anyone period.
Was this bad or unfair of me?
As for going to counseling, my gf is very upset and angry about this, and I did promise to marry her before, saying we would get married this summer. So I do not have time to go counseling and have to make a decision quick to move forward or not.
I love and feel I cannot live without her. But at the same time, I feel like in my relationship experiences, I have given in on other people's terms too much, to the point where it effected me before, and I feel I for once need to have a term for myself out of principle. Is this being unfair to her, or putting her in a bad category? Of course I trust her, I just feel it's my turn to get something on one of my terms for once in my dating life.
Is that unfair of me to think that way?
If you don't mind asking, how much are you trying to protect through this prenup? you said down payment on a house, but that could be 20k, 200k or 2mil, Just wondering.
Almost 200k. I was told by my friends though that that is not very much, and I am trying to make my assets out to be a lot more than they are. I am not Bill Gates as a couple of them agreed. Do you think I am doing so?
My gf also said that money comes and goes, l and I think too much of it, where as love is forever.
I even asked my two friends on their opinion. I told them that because of my past experiences, I vowed to get a prenup, after I have had been taken advantage of in the past.
One friend said that she agrees that if I break my how, I'll end up loosing my self respect, since it's the vow I made to myself, and your vows make you who you are to yourself, she said.
The other friend disagreed and he said that I am letting my past experiences put my gf in the same category as those other women before, and that's not fair to her, and I am putting too much emphasis on the vow, rather than love and happiness together. But the other friend disagreed saying that by keeping the vow, I am not putting her in a category and it's not about her.
But when I made the vow, I didn't say I only vow to let certain people of a lower category not be in a position to take advantage of me. I vowed never to let anyone period.
Was this bad or unfair of me?
As for going to counseling, my gf is very upset and angry about this, and I did promise to marry her before, saying we would get married this summer. So I do not have time to go counseling and have to make a decision quick to move forward or not.
I love and feel I cannot live without her. But at the same time, I feel like in my relationship experiences, I have given in on other people's terms too much, to the point where it effected me before, and I feel I for once need to have a term for myself out of principle. Is this being unfair to her, or putting her in a bad category? Of course I trust her, I just feel it's my turn to get something on one of my terms for once in my dating life.
Is that unfair of me to think that way?
How on earth would someone who is apparently this uncertain and seeking advice and validation from not only their two friends but everyone on CDF, have assets worthy of protection by way of a pre-nup? Was this bundle of assets an inheritance perhaps?
I think you and your girlfriend are indubitably incompatible and you should find a partner who will not expect you to break your vows to never be taken advantage of ever again. She's probably a man eating gold-digger and you gotta dodge this bullet. Drop this zero and get you a hero, bruh!
Almost 200k. I was told by my friends though that that is not very much, and I am trying to make my assets out to be a lot more than they are. I am not Bill Gates as a couple of them agreed. Do you think I am doing so?
My gf also said that money comes and goes, l and I think too much of it, where as love is forever.
That's a good sum, but if I am honest, if it was multiple properties , family estate, and or I had kids that those estates would go to, then I would get a pre-nup to protect that. Otherwise, it doesn't do much if you have been married for x amount of years.
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