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You're an attractive woman and they get a pass for being shy.
You're sweet and a gentleman. I felt very invisible as a shy girl. I was all alone until I forced myself to stop looking so silent and forbidding, LOL. And yes, to approach even if not say in so many words "Do you want to go out on a date?" Because the other girls walked right up to the boys to talk or tease and if you snoozed...you lost.
It is likely different for men who have more of the onus (generally) in doing the asking so I'm not minimizing how men feel about this issue.
Being shy can be terribly hard and it is a very big effort to "make" oneself approach and be approachable. It's a daily struggle but I figure things could be worse so I try to keep it in perspective.
You're sweet and a gentleman. I felt very invisible as a shy girl. I was all alone until I forced myself to stop looking so silent and forbidding, LOL. And yes, to approach even if not say in so many words "Do you want to go out on a date?" Because the other girls walked right up to the boys to talk or tease and if you snoozed...you lost.
It is likely different for men who have more of the onus (generally) in doing the asking so I'm not minimizing how men feel about this issue.
Being shy can be terribly hard and it is a very big effort to "make" oneself approach and be approachable. It's a daily struggle but I figure things could be worse so I try to keep it in perspective.
I must admit you are one of the last people I'd ever thought were shy at one point , your terrific now and I'm sure you were back then but still can't picture it LOL.
I completely agree with it being a huge step for someone shy to approach, I feel guilty at times to screaming at people to appoach as its easy enough for me and without realising it's not so straight forward for some
But at times we've all got to step out of our " comfort zone " to get something and more often than not it works and usually all it takes is a nudge from a mate or even a stranger on the Internet
Women are utterly incapable of walking in a guy's shoes. She's shy, allegedly attractive, and does well with men. Women logic says that since she does well than so should a shy man.
Nope.
I don't feel I have a window into the male mind.
But I do know about being shy and literally shaking trying to say "hello" to any new person...even in an entirely non-romantic way.
If I did not literally white knuckle through this I'd never have a job, for example, I'd pretty much be a helpless recluse. I have literally vomited before job interviews. I have figured I'd blown it because of my shaking voice and wooden affect.
Sometimes, we have to do what makes us uncomfortable. That's part of life.
I don't know what it is to be a man. But I do know that sometimes, shy people do things that make them terribly uncomfortable. Out of necessity (like a job) - not horniness.
By the way, it's interesting that amid all this complaining that women apparently pretend to know how men feel, the complainers presume to know how women feel. We're cavalier about it, we're not empathetic, we don't know what it is because it's so easy to get a date, and so on.
Interesting that you guys know EXACTLY the female experience. But...we don't know yours and were jerks for apparently pretending that we do.
But I do know about being shy and literally shaking trying to say "hello" to any new person...even in an entirely non-romantic way.
If I did not literally white knuckle through this I'd never have a job, for example, I'd pretty much be a helpless recluse. I have literally vomited before job interviews. I have figured I'd blown it because of my shaking voice and wooden affect.
Sometimes, we have to do what makes us uncomfortable. That's part of life.
I don't know what it is to be a man. But I do know that sometimes, shy people do things that make them terribly uncomfortable. Out of necessity (like a job) - not horniness.
By the way, it's interesting that amid all this complaining that women apparently pretend to know how men feel, the complainers presume to know how women feel. We're cavalier about it, we're not empathetic, we don't know what it is because it's so easy to get a date, and so on.
Interesting that you guys know EXACTLY the female experience. But...we don't know yours and were jerks for apparently pretending that we do.
1. Women who presume to understand the male experience are cold, callous and of course, wrong.
2. You, singularly, know women BETTER than we women know ourselves but you are not cold, callous or wrong. Rather, you're psychic...or God? Not sure which.
Thanks for clearing this up, LOL.
No, you definitely don't understand nor empathize with the female experience, full stop. Not unless you've been kidding on approximately 98% of your posts on here, LOL.
So while I'm being conscious of your feelings and not presuming, how about you be conscious at least minimally and not presume, either? It's likely you don't understand nor empathize with women overall and it's definite that you don't understand better than we understand ourselves.
1. Women who presume to understand the male experience are cold, callous and of course, wrong.
2. You, singularly, know women BETTER than we women know ourselves but you are not cold, callous or wrong. Rather, you're psychic...or God? Not sure which.
Thanks for clearing this up, LOL.
No, you definitely don't understand nor empathize with the female experience, full stop. Not unless you've been kidding on approximately 98% of your posts on here, LOL.
So while I'm being conscious of your feelings and not presuming, how about you be conscious at least minimally and not presume, either? It's likely you don't understand nor empathize with women overall and it's definite that you don't understand better than we understand ourselves.
You're an attractive woman and they get a pass for being shy.
A lot of people assume shy, good looking women are cold and stuck up. I was shy in college and was shocked when male friends told me I was coming across as an Itch so to speak.
As for shy men, I don't think its dislike so much as your just not noticed because you are quiet. Personality does a lot for a man to make him stand out and you are basically not using all the tools to be noticed.
Last edited by BellaLind; 04-30-2016 at 04:08 PM..
Most actually shy men do not do well with women. A few winners doesn't negate the generality.
I disagree I find that shy men mostly have girlfriends and are good at keeping hold of them in a commited relationship, but struggle to " play the field " and sleep around in other words approach multiple women etc
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, your terrific now and I'm sure you were back then but still can't picture it LOL. 
