Can't stop looking at escort ads (women, therapy, family, sex)
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I'm 25 and never had sex. Long story short: major trust issues, short temper and anxiety. Tried to kill myself while in college and I still take meds.
Average looks, regular body even though I work out twice or three times a week. I'm currently in a very demanding trainee programme in a major energy company and I'm really tired when I get home. That's exactly when my sex drive is higher.
I started looking at escort ads about 3 years ago but never acted on it. If I like one of the women, I look at the pictures over and over again. It's the first thing I do when I get home. But then it's so expensive I eventually give up on the idea (we're not talking about random, low class prostitutes, you have to pay well for these). I think how many other things I want to buy, that I want to save for that trip abroad, etc.
Is this bad? I thought this would go away but it hasn't.
OP, after you finish your training program, please consider putting some time into counseling, to get at the root of your issues, and heal whatever's at the bottom of it. Good guess: parental issues in early childhood. That's usually what causes trust issues and anxiety. Heck, the anxiety could even bee a low-grade residual PTSD from whatever happened when you were a little kid.
If you can get to the bottom of the root cause, and resolve it, you won't need meds anymore, and life will begin falling into place a bit better. You're worth it! You deserve happiness.
OP, after you finish your training program, please consider putting some time into counseling, to get at the root of your issues, and heal whatever's at the bottom of it. Good guess: parental issues in early childhood. That's usually what causes trust issues and anxiety. Heck, the anxiety could even bee a low-grade residual PTSD from whatever happened when you were a little kid.
If you can get to the bottom of the root cause, and resolve it, you won't need meds anymore, and life will begin falling into place a bit better. You're worth it! You deserve happiness.
Believe me, I was very resistant to taking meds and tried everything before I decided to take them. I've already done therapy for 2 years, no results. I took up sports (and I still exercise). It helped just a little bit. I even tried meditation. Nothing would ever work.
It's something that comes from the inside and no amount of good will, therapy or other "natural" methods will work.
I don't know about the causes but yes my family was pretty messed up while growing up, even though it appeared normal to the outside world.
Sounds like you need to check in again to get a handle on the obsessive thoughts.
That probably means more meds and I want to avoid that at all costs.
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