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One issue I've had in relationships is that men don't handle my independence well. So for the men on the forum, how important is it to you that your woman be dependant on you? And to what degree? Do you want us to be the helpless female who needs you to come to the rescue?
A man who understand women and has a positive self image wants a woman to WANT him, not necessarily NEED him. Independent women who choose to spend their precious and valuable time with you are letting you know by default that they WANT to be with you. (not you literally..you as in man)
So if a guy has a problem with your independence, he is insecure and feels that the only way to keep a woman is for her to need him. That's a no bueno sign on his chest right off the bat. Look elsewhere.
I don't know if this is funny or sad! Women are advised to not be too clingy, because it drives guys away. I've never heard of them being advised to not be too independent. I would hope that there are guys out there with strong enough self-esteem that independence wouldn't be an issue.
I don't know if this is funny or sad! Women are advised to not be too clingy, because it drives guys away. I've never heard of them being advised to not be too independent. I would hope that there are guys out there with strong enough self-esteem that independence wouldn't be an issue.
Ruth, there are plenty. A lot of men go for women who need them and therefore dependent on them because it 'locks' them in. Men are typically paranoid by nature and a lot of them are scared of independent women because they are insecure in the belief that their personality alone is enough to keep a good woman.
This is why I see a lot of guys go for the needy types. Single mothers, the unemployed, the shy or socially awkward, or the overweight.
A man who understand women and has a positive self image wants a woman to WANT him, not necessarily NEED him. Independent women who choose to spend their precious and valuable time with you are letting you know by default that they WANT to be with you. (not you literally..you as in man)
I'm all to familiar with this scenario as well. I'm wondering if it's where I live but men here run from independant women. I am about as independant as they come. I have a good paying job, pay my own rent, bills, etc. However, men just loathe and despise this independance. It's almost like they want someone they can rescue, or possibly just control? I'm thinking the latter. I tend to be very sturdy in what I expect out of people so that may not help either as I'm not going to give any leeway to someone who is 35 and lives in their Mama's basement, per say. But from my recent experience, just about every man in my area is either a) already married b) gay or c) jobless living on their parents couch. I have yet to meet any man who is not in that category.
Not man bashing because I know of very good men out there, I'm just saying it like I see it.
I've encountered my share of guys who prefer a less independent woman. Mainly so they can feel needed, like they're taking care of her, etc. I've met a few who were uncomfortable with women who were too independent, or else found it a turnof.
I know I've seen threads on CD before where it seems some en associate "independent woman" with "nagging, shrewish witch", which I find interesting.
Some men like women who are clingy and some like women who are independent. There is no such thing as all men like women who are clingy or all men like women who are independent. Men's tastes are varied and some men even like both! You just have to find the right man who likes what you are.
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