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In your experience, what kinds of things or qualities do you think can cause a man to feel romantically and emotionally attached to a woman? Also the other way around, as well -- what do you think it is that causes a woman to feel attached to a man?
It may be different for everyone. Some people make a connection through communication. I feel closer to a man if I feel he heard me. I would guess for a man he would feel closer to me too if he spoke and I listened. Talk is cheap , listening is expensive. So is respecting what is being said to you. I think consistent behaviors from either side, words matching actions showing that the other person can count on you would make a person feel close. And also doing something physical together, a walk in the park with a dog, walking around an amusement park and riding rides together, sex . . .
Less physical shared mutual experiences could bond people together too, a concert, a movie - in the theater , a show or a trip taken together. Just spending time and having fun with a person you can trust causes attachment in most people I'd guess.
In your experience, what kinds of things or qualities do you think can cause a man to feel romantically and emotionally attached to a woman? Also the other way around, as well -- what do you think it is that causes a woman to feel attached to a man?
Spend a lot of time together (in person, preferably) and actually pay attention to each other, and this will inevitably happen. Your interactions have to be mostly good, like not being in conflict. I'm also a believer that clear and distinct roles reinforce emotional connection, but you both must value them in each other.
For me, I also need to feel safe and secure with a guy and be able to express my many emotional/feelings freely to him without him using it against me to do me harm.
Whatever the external or physical causes, it's likely to occur if I feel happier in her presence, and want to be in her presence when I'm not. It will solidify if we do things together that help us bond.
Spend a lot of time together (in person, preferably) and actually pay attention to each other, and this will inevitably happen. Your interactions have to be mostly good, like not being in conflict. I'm also a believer that clear and distinct roles reinforce emotional connection, but you both must value them in each other.
For me, I also need to feel safe and secure with a guy and be able to express my many emotional/feelings freely to him without him using it against me to do me harm.
Not sure about the "clear and distinct roles" part because I am always striving to change and grow, and one natural consequence of that is that my role will change, so the right guy for me is one who won't try to pigeonhole me, and who will change and grow throughout his life, too.
However, I can relate to the rest of your post. Time together, positive interactions, and feeling that it's safe to express thoughts to him are very important. If I feel that someone is going to minimize my feelings on the rare occasion that I get upset enough to express them, then I'm just not going to bother. If I'm not worth your time, you're not worth mine. Same goes for men who can't admit that they might have been wrong about something or that their actions might have hurt or angered someone (not necessarily me, although yes, me, too) and can't bring themselves to say "I'm sorry."
As for men getting attached, if I wrote out what I really thought on that, I'd be proclaimed Cynic of the Year. Suffice it to say that the less ya need 'em, the more they want you to.
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