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So lately, I have been thinking about dating again, but I have a major issue...with myself.
While I consider myself to be a nice, friendly guy that doesn't play games, the one thing that bothers me is that I don't make a lot of money. I have a 4 year degree, but it seems that I always end up jobs that are low paying such as retail.
As of right now, I am currently talking to someone who has a very professional job in their local school district. I am pretty sure that they make around $55k,and I just feel awkward because here I am educated, and for the life of me, I just can't get ahead. I have tried everything: networking, applying for jobs, praying, you name it. This lady seems to like me and I like her, but I worry that I don't pull "enough of my weight" and it makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward.
I feel like in some way this is just a pride issue, and maybe I am totally overthinking this. I have met a few guys that were in my situation, one friend works in a call center making $11/hr while his wife is a nurse. He says he loves it. This situation makes me feel so bad, that sometimes it makes me tear up(when no one is around of course)
Am I just being too hard on myself? I feel like the man should be the breadwinner or at least be equal, I just dont' understand why I can't find a "professional position" somewhere.
Mod comment, June 1, 9:05 CDT -- People, this thread quickly turned into a combination Relationships and Work/Employment thread.This thread should only address the dating issues; not the actual employment search. (OP, you may start a thread in Work & Employment forum/Job Search sub-forum if you want to seek job search advice.)
So lately, I have been thinking about dating again, but I have a major issue...with myself.
While I consider myself to be a nice, friendly guy that doesn't play games, the one thing that bothers me is that I don't make a lot of money. I have a 4 year degree, but it seems that I always end up jobs that are low paying such as retail.
As of right now, I am currently talking to someone who has a very professional job in their local school district. I am pretty sure that they make around $55k,and I just feel awkward because here I am educated, and for the life of me, I just can't get ahead. I have tried everything: networking, applying for jobs, praying, you name it. This lady seems to like me and I like her, but I worry that I don't pull "enough of my weight" and it makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward.
I feel like in some way this is just a pride issue, and maybe I am totally overthinking this. I have met a few guys that were in my situation, one friend works in a call center making $11/hr while his wife is a nurse. He says he loves it. This situation makes me feel so bad, that sometimes it makes me tear up(when no one is around of course)
Am I just being too hard on myself? I feel like the man should be the breadwinner or at least be equal, I just dont' understand why I can't find a "professional position" somewhere.
Mate as a bloke I'm sure when I say that the other things about your person are what's important
But in regard to job/money as long as you can and want to contribute and make the effort in taking them out for a drink/meal or a small gift now and then basically what any boyfriend would do for his girlfriend im sure you are fine mate
They won't expect lavish or luxury with the £££ side of things , it's more the time and effort you put into the relationship and them that's the main thing.
I completely understand the pride part and a few times when I've been of injured ( no work no pay ) I've not dated as I couldn't afford the basic things so again I understand.
I must admit I can't believe a bloke with a 4 year degree doesn't have a great paying job is it due to location?
If no one is willing to hire you in the line of work you have a degree, you should become your own boss. For whatever reason, you're bad at networking, come off with a bad vibe in interviews, could be most anything - then look into becoming a consultant or entrepreneur. Steve Jobs I have heard was a nasty a hole to work with - I bet few would have hired him.
Be like Steve Jobs.
I think this isn't really a relationship issue, it sounds more like an employment issue.
Its very important because we believe i should not work outside the home, so if he didnt make enough to cover the bills or couldnt/wouldnt work, we would have a really big problem. He is the breadwinner/leader/head. he doesnt need to make millions but he needs to pay the basic bills.
Its very important because we believe i should not work outside the home, so if he didnt make enough to cover the bills or couldnt/wouldnt work, we would have a really big problem.
Same here.
He likes me at home... and I like it too! So his job is very, very important.
Am I just being too hard on myself? I feel like the man should be the breadwinner or at least be equal, I just dont' understand why I can't find a "professional position" somewhere.
I think you're being too hard on yourself. At least you're working--that's the important part. Your significant other should love you for you, not how much money you make. Personally my significant other's job is not important to me at all, not even a factor.
My husband ran into issues with dating due to his profession being on the lower paying end. At the time we met he had just moved back to the area and started freelance work, so his income was <20k. He was living off remaining savings during the interim. He mentioned past dates would try to hide the fact they lost interest once he disclosed what he does. As he says, the light would drain from their eyes. lololol
But yeah, income is important to some depending on their financial goals and lifestyle and other things that are important to them. He also had, like, no bills (apart from his prepaid cell phone) and no debt. He was a minimalist and lived within his means.
He eventually picked up more work, and it works for us, so it wasn't something that bothered me or deterred me from dating/marrying him. He absolutely loves his work. It's his passion, and he's been in the field for 17 years. Neither of our professions/plans yield high incomes. *shrug*
Mate as a bloke I'm sure when I say that the other things about your person are what's important
But in regard to job/money as long as you can and want to contribute and make the effort in taking them out for a drink/meal or a small gift now and then basically what any boyfriend would do for his girlfriend im sure you are fine mate
They won't expect lavish or luxury with the £££ side of things , it's more the time and effort you put into the relationship and them that's the main thing.
I completely understand the pride part and a few times when I've been of injured ( no work no pay ) I've not dated as I couldn't afford the basic things so again I understand.
I must admit I can't believe a bloke with a 4 year degree doesn't have a great paying job is it due to location?
I've had friends with graduate degrees struggle for 6+ months to find work. I'll likely pursue part time work once I'm finished with my graduate program, which likely won't top $25k a year, as adjuncts don't make that much. But I could teach in my area and make in the 50s. I just prefer higher-ed.
Mate as a bloke I'm sure when I say that the other things about your person are what's important
But in regard to job/money as long as you can and want to contribute and make the effort in taking them out for a drink/meal or a small gift now and then basically what any boyfriend would do for his girlfriend im sure you are fine mate
They won't expect lavish or luxury with the £££ side of things , it's more the time and effort you put into the relationship and them that's the main thing.
I completely understand the pride part and a few times when I've been of injured ( no work no pay ) I've not dated as I couldn't afford the basic things so again I understand.
I must admit I can't believe a bloke with a 4 year degree doesn't have a great paying job is it due to location?
Thanks man, you seem to get me, yeah companies have gotten really strict over here and nowadays, you can't just have a BA in Whatever and get a good job, it just doesn't work that way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DontH8Me
If no one is willing to hire you in the line of work you have a degree, you should become your own boss. For whatever reason, you're bad at networking, come off with a bad vibe in interviews, could be most anything - then look into becoming a consultant or entrepreneur. Steve Jobs I have heard was a nasty a hole to work with - I bet few would have hired him.
Be like Steve Jobs.
I think this isn't really a relationship issue, it sounds more like an employment issue.
I've only been at my current city for about a year. I don't really know anyone tbh, so that seems to be the problem.
So lately, I have been thinking about dating again, but I have a major issue...with myself.
While I consider myself to be a nice, friendly guy that doesn't play games, the one thing that bothers me is that I don't make a lot of money. I have a 4 year degree, but it seems that I always end up jobs that are low paying such as retail.
As of right now, I am currently talking to someone who has a very professional job in their local school district. I am pretty sure that they make around $55k,and I just feel awkward because here I am educated, and for the life of me, I just can't get ahead. I have tried everything: networking, applying for jobs, praying, you name it. This lady seems to like me and I like her, but I worry that I don't pull "enough of my weight" and it makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward.
I feel like in some way this is just a pride issue, and maybe I am totally overthinking this. I have met a few guys that were in my situation, one friend works in a call center making $11/hr while his wife is a nurse. He says he loves it. This situation makes me feel so bad, that sometimes it makes me tear up(when no one is around of course)
Am I just being too hard on myself? I feel like the man should be the breadwinner or at least be equal, I just dont' understand why I can't find a "professional position" somewhere.
What is your degree in? How big is the town that you live in?
When I first graduated I couldn't find a job in my field either and worked a job with a low starting pay, but I gave that job everything I had and climbed the ladder a bit. After a couple years the guy that owned the company I worked for came and talked to me because he knew I had a degree so he offered me a shot at a leadership position. It just kept going from there. Point being that maybe you're better off finding something you like to do and climbing up the chain than jumping around looking for a professional gig right out of the gate. Just a thought.
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) I've not dated as I couldn't afford the basic things so again I understand.
