Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well, I just asked if she wanted to exchange numbers & see if she's interested to hang out later in the week. I said maybe Friday? I guess I'll see what she says, if anything. It's just been hard to tell whether she's interested or not. I also don't want to mislead her either since I don't want anything serious with her except for something more casual/short term due to her being quite a bit older than me & has a kid already. I think the kid is a bit older though & might even be on his own.
I think this may be the current tone of online dating. Everyone is afraid of being overly eager, so they end up being very vague in their approach. Rejection happens far more often online, so some people may be tired of the rejection, so they revert to being vague.
I'm not too keen on your "maybe Friday" comment. It gets the point across, but it's also vague as well. You're both being vague, because you're playing off her energy. She's vague, so you're vague. I would have led with I'd like to take you out on Friday night if you're free. If she's interested in meeting you, yet is busy that night, she SHOULD come back with a reply to reschedule for another day. If she doesn't come back with an alternate day or she's very short in her response, I would just leave her alone. You're looking to go on a date not dance around a date.
I see this so often and I just don't understand it. Call her on the phone and ask her out on a specific day and time. "How about we meet at XXXX at 7 p.m. on Friday?" If she says she's busy, suggest another date or two. If you still get the same response, forget about her and move on. She's not interested. It really is this easy. You have to be more assertive, enough with the "hey wanna hang out sometime, maybe Friday?"
1. I'd feel a little odd if someone had offered to take me out for my birthday, I told him that would be nice, then he didn't do it...why didn't you follow up on her response with "Great, how about (whatever time) at (whatever place)?"
2. May I ask how old she is? I'm almost 49 and I notice that I don't blow up my friends' phones with texting. I treat it more like having gotten a message on my machine (God, that sounds old) and I will text back whenever I sit down and think of it...it could be hours later, the next day, etc. And I tend to think if it's something that needs immediate discussion, the person will actually call me.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,007,908 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966
I see this so often and I just don't understand it. Call her on the phone and ask her out on a specific day and time. "How about we meet at XXXX at 7 p.m. on Friday?" If she says she's busy, suggest another date or two. If you still get the same response, forget about her and move on. She's not interested. It really is this easy. You have to be more assertive, enough with the "hey wanna hang out sometime, maybe Friday?"
Agree. You have to be prepared to hear no, if you ever want to get a firm yes.
1. I'd feel a little odd if someone had offered to take me out for my birthday, I told him that would be nice, then he didn't do it...why didn't you follow up on her response with "Great, how about (whatever time) at (whatever place)?"
2. May I ask how old she is? I'm almost 49 and I notice that I don't blow up my friends' phones with texting. I treat it more like having gotten a message on my machine (God, that sounds old) and I will text back whenever I sit down and think of it...it could be hours later, the next day, etc. And I tend to think if it's something that needs immediate discussion, the person will actually call me.
1. Because the day of her birthday I had to work until late at night so I couldn't that day.
2. She's 45. I think that she either doesn't put on her notifications to receive messages on the app, or she doesn't go on it every single day. I guess it's also possible she does see my messages but doesn't care to reply to them right away which will lead to a no. But at this point whatever happens happens at least I could say I tried with no regrets.
Well, I just asked if she wanted to exchange numbers & see if she's interested to hang out later in the week. I said maybe Friday? I guess I'll see what she says, if anything. It's just been hard to tell whether she's interested or not. I also don't want to mislead her either since I don't want anything serious with her except for something more casual/short term due to her being quite a bit older than me & has a kid already. I think the kid is a bit older though & might even be on his own.
You're going about this all wrong. I came across the same situation a couple of months ago, accept it was my birthday. I was messaging with a nice, intelligent, attractive man online for one day. That's my limit before I decide whether or not to give someone my number. I don't ask or wait to be asked, if its a fun conversation I give him my number, if he calls great-- my signal detector is working. Someone will say 'that's way to early to give a guy you just met your number', but I have yet to be assaulted in the head over the phone and there's always blocking, (which yes I did end up using a couple of times). Still works for me though.
So anyway, I worked it into the conversation because I wanted him to ask me to do something. that's what clever women do to give you an opening. I said:'this Friday is my birthday and I finally have a night off after 7 in a row'. He asked if I had plans. I said no, not yet. He asked: 'can I take you out to dinner for your birthday?' and named his favorite restaurant. I said 'Sure, that sounds like fun!', and gave him my number.
It doesn't matter if she's older with a kid out of the house, or that you're not looking for anything long term right away, you can't plan for those things until you actually meet. She messaged you first! I don't understand all of the analyzing!
I see this so often and I just don't understand it. Call her on the phone and ask her out on a specific day and time. "How about we meet at XXXX at 7 p.m. on Friday?" If she says she's busy, suggest another date or two. If you still get the same response, forget about her and move on. She's not interested. It really is this easy. You have to be more assertive, enough with the "hey wanna hang out sometime, maybe Friday?"
I don't have her phone number yet. I asked if she wanted to exchange numbers in my message as well.
1. I'd feel a little odd if someone had offered to take me out for my birthday, I told him that would be nice, then he didn't do it...why didn't you follow up on her response with "Great, how about (whatever time) at (whatever place)?"
Exactly! She told him it was her birthday already thinking 3 sentences in advance-- in case he asked her to do something...dot dot dot
You're going about this all wrong. I came across the same situation a couple of months ago, accept it was my birthday. I was messaging with a nice, intelligent, attractive man online for one day. That's my limit before I decide whether or not to give someone my number. I don't ask or wait to be asked, if its a fun conversation I give him my number, if he calls great-- my signal detector is working. Someone will say 'that's way to early to give a guy you just met your number', but I have yet to be assaulted in the head over the phone and there's always blocking, (which yes I did end up using a couple of times). Still works for me though.
So anyway, I worked it into the conversation because I wanted him to ask me to do something. that's what clever women do to give you an opening. I said:'this Friday is my birthday and I finally have a night off after 7 in a row'. He asked if I had plans. I said no, not yet. He asked: 'can I take you out to dinner for your birthday?' and named his favorite restaurant. I said 'Sure, that sounds like fun!', and gave him my number.
It doesn't matter if she's older with a kid out of the house, or that you're not looking for anything long term right away, you can't plan for those things until you actually meet. She messaged you first! I don't understand all of the analyzing!
It seems some of you keep missing that I offered to take her out if I wasn't working that day. I had to work the day of her birthday so there was no way I could see her that day. Maybe I forgot to mention that? If so my fault. I also made a comment suggesting maybe some other time we can get drinks right after. Than she replied saying "thanks, that's nice." But even after that whole thing she still replied back.
It means she is running at least a half a dozen other guys at the same time and you are not a priority. I went out with one girl who was smoking hot when doing old and she admitted she couldn't remember who was who sometimes because she was running so many guys at once. Some of these women meet/sleep with a LOT of guys. I met one that admitted to losing count but knew she had slept with over a hundred guys in two years. OLD sucks.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
