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What is she 12? The state will indeed award alimony & child support inside of a marriage. I didn't read the reast of your blather beyond the phase thing. He probably thought he was marrying a grown up. You & I know better. You just proved it. Again, this is a cautionary tale at best. If you want someone who's accountable for their actions, get a dog.
What the...?
Not only didn't you read my "blabber," you apparently also didn't read anything the OP said, because no mention of divorce was made, so where is this alimony and child support coming from?
It's large compared to the other side which is 3x as large? What is large? Is it absolute? Is it relative? I can play this game all too well.
Or you could make it simple.
Is 25% of your gross income (coming out of the net you bring home, obviously) considerable, or no great shakes?
Get out your budget spreadsheets right now, hack 25% of YOUR GROSS INCOME off THE ACTUAL INCOME YOU HAVE AVAILABLE TO SPEND (net), and you tell us.
Simple. Let us know how things work out.
OH, whoopsie! Then double that. How do I keep forgetting that...? The average mother has 2.4 children. Let's round that down to two just to be nice. So yeah, that 25%? You need to double it. I'm sure even you can figure that math?
Not only didn't you read my "blabber," you apparently also didn't read anything the OP said, because no mention of divorce was made, so where is this alimony and child support coming from?
A wife can petition for alimony & or CS INSIDE of a marriage. No divorce petition needs to be filed.
I see it more as an evolution as people were just fighting with each other about what a SAHP should and should not do. We're now putting actual monetary values on the work a SAHP does based on average childcare costs. It's not insignificant, especially considering the OP's children were also home schooled up until recently. Even that would be around a $20K a year expense for tuition/after school care. With transportation to/from work and afterschool care, I'm guessing it would probably require a salary of at least $40K to break even on sending two children to private school/after school care.
$40K and what was the median income in Boston again...?
Telling us "staying at home is worth about $12K" is pure delirium. It's not just day care costs, for most working people they don't just magically show up, and then go home.
Does anyone who is saying "its $12K for child care, that's all your saving..." have any idea how much money (some of us) spend on clothes to look professional at work? Or even a uniform? Shoes!
• Eating lunch away from home
• Sometimes eating breakfast away from home
• Sometimes dinner …
• Coffee fund / drinks at my desk
• Drinks to de-stress and network after work
• Invited to way more weddings, showers, bachelorette parties, social events I would avoid paying anything towards if I was at home making up Barbie adventures for free
• I occasionally buy things from co-workers children who are always selling things
• I have to provide transportation away from home even if that didn’t include
• gas maintenance
• auto cost/ lease or payments and
• insurance, it would instead include
• bus or train fare and leaving earlier / arriving home later due to following someone else’s schedule thus including resulting in
• longer day care usage
• By not including my income at tax time we saved the family quite a bit of money in taxes
• By staying home I save more money on groceries and things for the home because I could have more time to do better price comparison, not just pick up whatever because I’m zombying around after work and someone forgot dinner or garbage bags.
I'm thinking this now is more like an average of $500+ a week, which is over $30K, which is the median income of where again?
I'm getting ready to "call the State about this".
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
2,365 posts, read 2,149,907 times
Reputation: 3814
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
What's this about "the state"? The state doesn't come in and tell people to clean the house or spend more time with the complaining daughter. The state isn't going to do that to a father any more than it's going to do it to a mother.
ALL we know from the OP is that the wife used to do a ridiculous over-the-top amount, right down to home schooling which is a job all by itself, and now she does less but we don't know how much less...and we know that a teenager is complaining...that latter not exactly being news to anyone who's ever had a teenager. OH yes, and we know the wife is having some sort of crisis and wants to go out with her friends.
We also know that for the MAJORITY of the marriage the wife DID perform all her "duties" and then some, and is NOW apparently going through a phase.
We don't know anything else, really.
I can imagine calling "the state" (how does one do that? Is the state actually just one entity?) and saying, "I believe my wife does LESS housework than she used to!" or "My husband doesn't do enough housework!" and how much snickering would ensue on the opposite side of the phone.
Suggestions have been made to the OP, and yes, the thread "devolved" into daycare costs, though I don't see that as devolving - these are a legitimate part of any working parent's equation, plus, lacking really any input from the OP past the initial button-pushing difficult to believe posts, we have had to go off on our own and figure things out.
ROFL! Awesome post.
I think Jeff and his wife's problem is they don't have a relationship, and never really did. Kids, a car, a good home and a career are not a relationship. They don't need a marriage councilor.
They need a primitive camping trip alone, to try to make a connection, imho.
A wife can petition for alimony & or CS INSIDE of a marriage. No divorce petition needs to be filed.
You aren't really saying a spouse should petition for spousal support (It hasn't been legally called alimony for years now) before deciding on divorce, are you? That doesn't make any sense, no one does that while trying decide how to save their marriage, anyway.
I'm thinking this now is more like an average of $500+ a week, which is over $30K, which is the median income of where again?
I'm getting ready to "call the State about this".
I'm calling the state to let them know that my husband insisted on watching Ancient Aliens EVEN THOUGH we could have recorded it on our TWC and EVEN THOUGH My Big, Fat Fabulous Life had already started so I was only going to be able to record part of it and had to ultimately go back and re-watch with the "previously, on My Big Fat Fabulous Life..." part cut off.
Oh wait, I saved the equivalent of $29k which is more like $560 a week, sorry for the math error.
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