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The only people who think baldness is bad are the whiny guys who are balding and are insecure and about it.
(Some pics removed)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Market Junkie
Great point with the Levine pics, 'forever.
Dude goes from stud to cancer survivor in one fell swoop.
Hair loss is so ******* BRUTAL...
Both of these comments are untrue and unhelpful. Baldness is not nothing, which is what Just A Guy seems to be implying, but it's not brutal either. It matters because it typically lessens a man's appeal, or perhaps shifts it in that bald men are often seen as less attractive and older but also smarter and more authoritative. That's not an awful trade off, but it's one many men are eager to make, especially younger men like the OP.
But forever, what your doing is counter productive. Hair loss matters. All the things people ask about on the internet such as, "does my third eye matter", matter. Most people have issues that "matter" in that sense, and most of us recognize that we can only fix the thing that matters or if we can't, then deal with how we feel about the thing that matters, and so we put our energy there. You're using this discussion to ruminate about your hair loss. That will keep you stuck.
I say this often here so it's not at all about you, but your level of concern is beyond the ability of anyone here to address. The ideas people have come up with, like working on other aspects of your appearance, learning to validate yourself rather than looking for validation from others, or challenging some of your beliefs are good ideas but they would best be implemented with the help of a therapist. At your age all things are pretty much possible, but you need to clear your mind of some very self limiting ideas first.
Both of these comments are untrue and unhelpful. Baldness is not nothing, which is what Just A Guy seems to be implying, but it's not brutal either. It matters because it typically lessens a man's appeal, or perhaps shifts it in that bald men are often seen as less attractive and older but also smarter and more authoritative. That's not an awful trade off, but it's one many men are eager to make, especially younger men like the OP.
But forever, what your doing is counter productive. Hair loss matters. All the things people ask about on the internet such as, "does my third eye matter", matter. Most people have issues that "matter" in that sense, and most of us recognize that we can only fix the thing that matters or if we can't, then deal with how we feel about the thing that matters, and so we put our energy there. You're using this discussion to ruminate about your hair loss. That will keep you stuck.
I say this often here so it's not at all about you, but your level of concern is beyond the ability of anyone here to address. The ideas people have come up with, like working on other aspects of your appearance, learning to validate yourself rather than looking for validation from others, or challenging some of your beliefs are good ideas but they would best be implemented with the help of a therapist. At your age all things are pretty much possible, but you need to clear your mind of some very self limiting ideas first.
Thanks for the comment. I think it is one of the wisest in this thread.
Alright, I'll try to be a bit more helpful to our distressed OP.
First of all, DON'T waste your money on a therapist or psychologist as homina suggests.
My bald friend did that for a few months and said that it was the biggest WASTE of money in his life.
He told me that he joined a forum for baldies and that talking with those dudes about their various issues helped him WAY more than the stupid therapist.
Didn't know the web address, so I emailed him over lunch. (Hopefully the North Korean moderators on here won't give me another cheap infraction for posting it )...
As a 23 yo female, I have genetic hair loss, which means I'll lose almost all if not all hair, if my body doesn't respond to treatment. I'm using hair fiber now. And will resort to hair systems if needed. I used to feel depressed and suicidal over it. I don't anymore. I'm now in the dating world actively. I still feel pretty.
Forget about what she wants (a guy with full head of hair) and think about what you want (a full head of hair and a girl who isn't shallow as).
My ex bf has the bald gene in his family and his dad was bald by 30. I wasn't scared that he'd be bald in no time at all. I was scared that he'd suffer the same emotional trauma as I did.
Find a girl who will support you no matter what. And find a good hair system if meds fail.
Thanks for the comment. I think it is one of the wisest in this thread.
What limiting beliefs do I have?
First, in my post you quoted I meant to write that many men are NOT eager to trade some attractiveness impression for some older-smarter-more authoritative impression.
Second, talking to other men who are dealing with hair loss is a pretty good idea, as Market Junkie so graciously suggested. That may help, but in my opinion you'd be trading one group of amateurs with biases (here) for another (there). It's not a bad idea though if you recognize that some men there have agendas on both sides of this issue. Some are determined to tell you that real men don't sweat such things, and others are miserable and want company, and many are pretty realistic and their telling of their story might help. That's all true of any site that is organized around a single issue that people may struggle with.
Regarding limiting beliefs, you seem to be an all or nothing thinker. Having hair is good, and so not having hair is bad. There's no room for not having hair being OK if not ideal, or a little disappointing, or a challenge. When there's a middle ground, it's hard to cling to the belief that your GF left you due to your hair loss. If hair loss is OK or a challenge, then her reason for leaving makes less sense and you might have to look at the rest of the relationship for reasons why she left, which complicates things.
Beyond your hair loss, maybe you believe you're not good enough. Maybe you believe that if you feel bad enough you'll find some answer to feel better. I really don't know, but it's worth looking into. Based on your posts here I'd suspect you have some beliefs about yourself and about the way things work that are not helping you get through this setback. Beliefs are not facts though, and they can be challenged and changed if they hold you back.
if she actually cared that much about you going bald why didn't she look for a solution? Hair club, wig or whatever. If she is that shallow you are better off without her, if going bald bothers you go to one of those hair restoration places or get a good wig. Good luck.
Uhm, being with someone whose looks you find repulsive whatever the reason is no measure of virtue.
I dislike bald men and it's a deal-breaker for me in 99,999% cases. I'm not bald myself, so naturally I'm entitled to make such demands. It's no secret baldness is unattractive in both men and women. In fact I've seen more beautiful bald women look good than men, so... But most men wouldn't even look at a bald girl. It's universal really.
Looks play important role, yeah. If it bothers someone being held up to these standards, they should go for beauty-is-in-the-heart bald scrawny female, because depth and love (â„¢)
Uhm, being with someone whose looks you find repulsive whatever the reason is no measure of virtue.
I dislike bald men and it's a deal-breaker for me in 99,999% cases. I'm not bald myself, so naturally I'm entitled to make such demands. It's no secret baldness is unattractive in both men and women. In fact I've seen more beautiful bald women look good than men, so... But most men wouldn't even look at a bald girl. It's universal really.
Looks play important role, yeah. If it bothers someone being held up to these standards, they should go for beauty-is-in-the-heart bald scrawny female, because depth and love (â„¢)
At the same time, what would happen if you were to married to someone with their hair in tact, and within say a couple of decades or so, they lose all their hair. Would you drop them?
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