Dating...without a car (girlfriend, woman, friend, couple)
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Hypothetical question:
Say you are seeing someone...and only one of you has a vehicle. In this case, it's the guy who drives, the woman is bereft of wheels. Now, the guy drives to see her frequently. Both live a considerably short distance from each other, with adequate public transportation (bus) in between.
Now, the woman says she wants to spend time with the guy; the guy can't always get over there, but [he] suggests that she take the bus to his place. She refuses, although she is familiar with the bus - as stated, she doesn't drive. Wouldn't this be considered selfish on her part if she refuses to go to his place, rather than his driving there all the time?
Yes. My friend is in this situation. Has been dating someone for a little over a year. They live about 30 minutes from each other and he's usually going to her because she doesn't have a car. If they make plans for her to go to his place, she takes the bus, even though it takes about an hour each way for her to do so.
Yes, I don't own a car (by choice) and my girlfriend lives on the other side of the city. She drives all the time. Expecting her to always come up to mine (though I live in a waaaay more fun neighborhood with lots of entertainment options and connections to other cool hoods) is selfish, so I do the 1 hour el to bus commute to her place, even though she offers to come pick me up. It's not just a question of being selfish though, I don't want to develop a dependence on her giving me a ride.
In your hypothetical? situation, there's also Uber to bridge the gap.
Hypothetical question:
Say you are seeing someone...and only one of you has a vehicle. In this case, it's the guy who drives, the woman is bereft of wheels. Now, the guy drives to see her frequently. Both live a considerably short distance from each other, with adequate public transportation (bus) in between.
Now, the woman says she wants to spend time with the guy; the guy can't always get over there, but [he] suggests that she take the bus to his place. She refuses, although she is familiar with the bus - as stated, she doesn't drive. Wouldn't this be considered selfish on her part if she refuses to go to his place, rather than his driving there all the time?
It's completely depends mate.
Id assume it's a hell of a lot quicker and easier for him to get over there so personally I just do it , However the odd occasion id be knackered from work for example and she didn't want to to come over then I probably would be annoyed yes and think it's quite selfish.
I would do whatever's easiest for us as a couple as much as possible ( meaning I've got the car so I'll drive ) but a compromise should be in place just in case something happened to the car or I couldn't make it.....
As this is hypothetical..... For me I don't drive as its not really needed in central London but I've had a few that have drove and I'd usually get a cab to theirs or a bus, but more often than not they will pick me up and take me to theirs
Hypothetical question:
Say you are seeing someone...and only one of you has a vehicle. In this case, it's the guy who drives, the woman is bereft of wheels. Now, the guy drives to see her frequently. Both live a considerably short distance from each other, with adequate public transportation (bus) in between.
Now, the woman says she wants to spend time with the guy; the guy can't always get over there, but [he] suggests that she take the bus to his place. She refuses, although she is familiar with the bus - as stated, she doesn't drive. Wouldn't this be considered selfish on her part if she refuses to go to his place, rather than his driving there all the time?
Homegirl can Uber her way over there. Seriously. I wouldn't even bother with taking a bus.
Hypothetical question:
Say you are seeing someone...and only one of you has a vehicle. In this case, it's the guy who drives, the woman is bereft of wheels. Now, the guy drives to see her frequently. Both live a considerably short distance from each other, with adequate public transportation (bus) in between.
Now, the woman says she wants to spend time with the guy; the guy can't always get over there, but [he] suggests that she take the bus to his place. She refuses, although she is familiar with the bus - as stated, she doesn't drive. Wouldn't this be considered selfish on her part if she refuses to go to his place, rather than his driving there all the time?
Has she indicated why she will not take public transportation?
Hypothetical question:
Say you are seeing someone...and only one of you has a vehicle. In this case, it's the guy who drives, the woman is bereft of wheels. Now, the guy drives to see her frequently. Both live a considerably short distance from each other, with adequate public transportation (bus) in between.
Now, the woman says she wants to spend time with the guy; the guy can't always get over there, but [he] suggests that she take the bus to his place. She refuses, although she is familiar with the bus - as stated, she doesn't drive. Wouldn't this be considered selfish on her part if she refuses to go to his place, rather than his driving there all the time?
I dated someone who did all the driving even though I had a car. He never suggested that I take a bus, and I would not have. I did other things for him so I didn't feel like I was being selfish.
Has she indicated why she will not take public transportation?
Good point mate
If it's for safety reasons in particular then I'd pay for a cab
I wouldn't expect or want my missus to travel on public transport at a certain time no way
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