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I've gone out on a few dates with a wonderful woman and I just found out I'm Herpes HSV2 positive. What can I tell her that will convince her to continue to date me? Here's one approach-
Focus on what steps we can take to ensure zero or close to zero transmission during sex. This will include daily meds, abstinence during outbreaks and condoms nearly always (should I change this to always?).
Other than that I dont know what other fears/insecurities I should address. Should I suggest that we go together to a Doctor and get his/her opinion? I fear that she'll read stuff on the internet and freak out. Frankly that's not reality.
Should I gather stories of successful discordant couples?
My two cents, just tell them that you have it and then ask them if you can answer any questions that they may have. If she does have concerns or questions, answer what you can and also let her that there's a lot of misinformation on the web and that you're more than happy to a doctor if that will help her feel more comfortable with the situation. Then let her make the decision and try not to take it personally.
Also, I hope you know she can still get infected even if you don't have an outbreak. And wearing a condom will only prevent it if your outbreak areas are covered by the condom, which usually it's not. Drugs are great nowadays, but they're not perfect. That's why I say don't take it personally if she says no regardless of all the precautions. I have HSV2 and I wouldn't date someone that has outbreaks in their genital region, because I don't want it there (mine isn't down there).
I've gone out on a few dates with a wonderful woman and I just found out I'm Herpes HSV2 positive. What can I tell her that will convince her to continue to date me? Here's one approach-
Focus on what steps we can take to ensure zero or close to zero transmission during sex. This will include daily meds, abstinence during outbreaks and condoms nearly always (should I change this to always?).
Other than that I dont know what other fears/insecurities I should address. Should I suggest that we go together to a Doctor and get his/her opinion? I fear that she'll read stuff on the internet and freak out. Frankly that's not reality.
Should I gather stories of successful discordant couples?
There is no other way around this for you than telling her and going together to a doctor.
You have to tell her, because there is no cure and it is very contagious. It is a crime not to tell a partner that one suffers from an STD.
As psichick mentioned Herpes is also contagious at times when there is no outbreak = flare up, but less. It can also be transmitted by kissing, and skin to skin contact.
Take a doctor's app and talk to her to join you The doc will certainly be able to explain everything to you.
If you hide it towards her, it will make everything worse, good luck!
Last edited by rent.in.nyc; 08-04-2016 at 09:13 PM..
Thanks All.
I'm feeling very vulnerable and worry that I'm not strong enough to lose her. I'll endup crying when I talk to her.. .maybe cry hard. Is it ok to show raw emotions like this OR should I keep my composure.
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