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Taco Bell, ah, being dead broke at 22 and looking forward to bean burritos and a cup of water for dinner. Nice change up from ramen.
Of course this smells. Duh.
Ish, Ramen...did you ever wait in line for the 'government cheese' and a bag of white rice? I lived in a condemned building my 2nd year of college. My roommate and I got kicked out of our dorm. Those were some of the best, most fun memories I have, but I probably won't be making that for dinner for any 'date' soon...I have a full time job now, and no games to play anyway
No I did not pay! I waited until she "found" her debit card. "Found" in quotations because I think it was a "test". How am I going to proceed? I have not gone on any fancy trips with her since last weekend, I think over the next two weekends or so we'll have an idea about her comfort level going on cheaper dates and how much she pitches in moving forward.
Again, I do not expect a 50/50 split particularly given her situation, but I do expect some sort of contribution, and we've had sex and cheap/low cost dates every day of this week, so we'll see.
You are now seeing her every day and spending every night together. Things seem to be moving very fast. And I'm curious why was it important to you to let us know how many times you've had sex with her this week? In what way is that relevant to the thread discussion about her paying her "fair share" on dates?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
Ish, Ramen...did you ever wait in line for the 'government cheese' and a bag of white rice? I lived in a condemned building my 2nd year of college. My roommate and I got kicked out of our dorm. Those were some of the best, most fun memories I have, but I probably won't be making that for dinner for any 'date' soon...I have a full time job now, and no games to play anyway
And I'm curious why was it important to you to let us know how many times you've had sex with her this week? In what way is that relevant to the thread discussion about her paying her "fair share" on dates?
A central hypothesis in this topic is if I stop taking her out on lavish dates and weekend trips, she will reduce intimacy with me or stop seeing me entirely. So far this has proven to be false, BUT it has only been one week since I stopped doing that. This doesn't mean we won't have fun, this weekend we are going out to a fair out in the country for instance. And this also doesn't mean that I would never have a weekend trip to a different city or resort with her ever again, but maybe I'll cut it back to once or twice a quarter, instead of three consecutive weekends for instance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22
I'm still wondering how he gets all this time off to go to resorts and vacations. Is he self-employed or retired?
I work at a regional office for a specialized consulting firm located between several points of interest within driving distance I try to schedule my meetings out of town later in the week so I can stay somewhere if I want and put in some billable time from the hotel to stay caught up with things.
Last edited by Mighty_Pelican; 10-14-2016 at 07:00 AM..
A central hypothesis in this topic is if I stop taking her out on lavish dates and weekend trips, she will reduce intimacy with me or stop seeing me entirely. So far this has proven to be false, BUT it has only been one week since I stopped doing that. This doesn't mean we won't have fun, this weekend we are going out to a fair out in the country for instance. And this also doesn't mean that I would never have a weekend trip to a different city or resort with her ever again, but maybe I'll cut it back to once or twice a quarter, instead of three consecutive weekends for instance.
It will be interesting to where this leads. It certainly sounds like you are the Sugar Daddy (doesn't matter if there is an age difference or not).
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
Op, you asked how to ask.
I maintain if you have to ask, this person isn't worth it.
I agree that he shouldn't have to ask. Normal relationships after the first few dates, the other person naturally starts to offer to pay.
I maintain if you have to ask, this person isn't worth it.
I'd typically agree, but if he lavished far more on her than she could afford to pay back in a dutch situation, she might have felt like this was his usual courting behavior and if he's been generous she might just see it as a "well, he knows he's got a lot more money than me and he wants to do these fun things, so I will accept his generosity because I like him" sort of deal.
He set the tone with the paid vacations and more expensive dates that she wasn't able to pay for, but he likely seemed interested in participating in.
If he'd started right out letting her know that these were splurges and not the norm, he may not now be here asking these questions.
I remember when my husband and I were dating and he proposed that I come with him to England on a business trip.
He quite commonly would pay for most all of our trips because he did make about twice my income. I did cook him nice dinners and give him thoughtful gifts of things I knew he wanted, but was too practical to always buy for himself. Hell, I even did his laundry on weekends while doing mine (I actually enjoy doing laundry) so he could devote more time to his startup (he did work from the house, so we still spent time together.
We eventually worked it into an arrangement where he paid for groceries and I was in charge of the menu. He'd help me cook some of the meal, be it a little help or a lot. It varied.
He paid for most major trips and the like. When we were headed to England that time, he was going over the plan and said "would you mind buying your airline ticket and I'll cover the rest?"
I took out my wallet and bought the ticket. I had already figured I'd buy it anyway, but he asked me in a matter of fact way that wasn't the least bit weird. It was more of a "can you afford to contribute this much to us taking a trip that I know you might be stretching to afford if you did all this by yourself" sort of question. That worked for me. He would've bought it if I couldn't afford it. I was in grad school at the time, btw, but was also working for a good rate of pay, just not as much as him by a long shot.
Bottom line being that people should be able to work stuff like this out if they care about one another and aren't with someone for their wallet or a route to their pants.
Whenever I see these posts where people are tallying up dollars and cents or wondering why their date never had find her/his wallet, it makes me sad.
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Bottom line being that people should be able to work stuff like this out if they care about one another and aren't with someone for their wallet or a route to their pants.
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I agree. If two people have a good relationship, it won't be an issue for them to work out a financial arrangement. I traveled overseas to see my husband back when we were dating, he asked me if I could afford a ticket and he'd help me find a good price on airfare. So I paid about $1200 to fly to see him and he paid for our meals & hotel when I was over there.
Ok, Mighty Pelican, you have been warned. You know she is a mooching off you but you still keep giving.
From now on, everything she does to you, is on you. Quit complaining.
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