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I am surprised you married him as you don't really have anything positive to say about him. Did this all evolve since you two got together? How would he describe you? What attracted you to him in the beginning?
He treated his ex wife the same way. He always tells me he loves me but who knows.
We do know: and we are telling you clearly. What he says is irrelevant. What he does, or does not do for you shows how much he loves you. Not. at. all. He isn't capable.
No he has never hit me. He is too passive to do that. He's broken things before though. I want to do things for him and he never lets me. He doesn't even want any physical contact besides coming over the hug or kiss me sometimes but it only last a minute. He just doesn't seem to care about me. He isn't really controlling because I can do what ever I want and he doesn't care. Never seems to worry about me.
Why haven't you answered the questions about what he was like before you married? Was there any hint of this during the dating process? Any red flags you may have ignored?
Sure, there's red flags most of the time because I've personally never believed someone so bad changes "overnight" from once a nice person to an a-hole. But when a relationship is just starting, people are so smitten with new love & the romance of it all, they rarely see the red flags & actually adhere to them & listen to their head rather than their heart. Not their mother, father, best friend, etc. can tell them otherwise in which they will get out of it. The person in the relationship with these bad people don't want to listen.
Last edited by Forever Blue; 12-03-2016 at 12:23 PM..
Sure, there's red flags most of the time because I've personally never believed someone so bad changes "overnight" from once a nice person to an a-hole. But when a relationship is just starting, people are so smitten with new love & the romance of it all, they rarely see the red flags & actually adhere to them & listen to their head rather than their heart. Not their mother, father, best friend, etc. can tell them otherwise in which they will get out of it. The person in the relationship with these bad people don't want to listen.
That's what long engagements are for. It's hard to fake a pleasing personality through a year-long engagement or longer. And it's hard to ignore red flags that long, too.
That's what long engagements are for. It's hard to fake a pleasing personality through a year-long engagement or longer. And it's hard to ignore red flags that long, too.
Yes, so true! My SO's parents were high school sweethearts who got married when he got her pregnant at 18. But the father is a worthless b@$t@rd. (If you search my threads, I wrote about him & the family in a thread or two.) I have no doubts there were red flags with his parents' relationship, but the mother was just so stupid, spineless, & docile, that she stayed in the marriage for 24 yrs too long (the length of time they were married). My SO can't stand his own dad.
Yes, so true! My SO's parents were high school sweethearts who got married when he got her pregnant at 18. But the father is a worthless b@$t@rd. (If you search my threads, I wrote about him & the family in a thread or two.) I have no doubts there were red flags with his parents' relationship, but the mother was just so stupid, spineless, & docile, that she stayed in the marriage for 24 yrs too long (the length of time they were married). My SO can't stand his own dad.
A great argument for not getting married at 18. And not getting pregnant as a teen, obviously.
He treated his ex wife the same way. He always tells me he loves me but who knows.
Key word...... EX!
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