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Old 12-07-2016, 12:53 PM
 
119 posts, read 78,987 times
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For those in long term relationships, how often do you get into big arguments or disagreements? Was it common in the beginning? How do you usually settle them?

I don't know why everytime I get upset, I call the relationship off then regret it later
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Old 12-07-2016, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
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Its healthy to have disagreements. Its not healthy to keep arguing and not finding a solution/common ground/compromise.

I settle any and all arguments/disagreements in bed.
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Old 12-07-2016, 01:10 PM
 
119 posts, read 78,987 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
Its healthy to have disagreements. Its not healthy to keep arguing and not finding a solution/common ground/compromise.

I settle any and all arguments/disagreements in bed.
Lol
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Old 12-07-2016, 01:12 PM
 
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We disagree on occasion, but we do not argue. We settle our disagreements by speaking about them and coming to a mutually-agreeable solution.

Honestly, OP, if your response to getting upset about something in your relationship is to "call it off", you've got some serious work to do regarding your communication and problem solving skills in your relationships.
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Old 12-07-2016, 01:16 PM
 
Location: SoCal
5,899 posts, read 5,798,952 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post
Honestly, OP, if your response to getting upset about something in your relationship is to "call it off", you've got some serious work to do regarding your communication and problem solving skills in your relationships.
Completely agreed.
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Old 12-07-2016, 01:27 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rome2300 View Post
Lol
I'm not joking There's nothing you cant settle in bed, imo.

Give it a try!
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Old 12-07-2016, 01:32 PM
 
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Rarely.

My wife can get a little too emotionaly attached to an idea which can lead to her fighting for her cause even when she has hit a dead on something which can sometimes lead to a (technically) unneeded continuation of some issues.

But, she understands this is a quirk of her personality and doesn't argue "with me"
She just need to get her thoughts out and have them listened to.
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Old 12-07-2016, 01:38 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,400 posts, read 6,373,565 times
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We don't/haven't. And really, there isn't much we disagree on, save mundane or silly things like 80s vs. 90s music, or best comic book superhero. That sort of stuff. He thinks Spider-Man 2 is the best superhero movie, but I'm not inclined to agree. I *think* Doctor Strange is up there now.
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Old 12-07-2016, 02:08 PM
 
119 posts, read 78,987 times
Reputation: 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post
We disagree on occasion, but we do not argue. We settle our disagreements by speaking about them and coming to a mutually-agreeable solution.

Honestly, OP, if your response to getting upset about something in your relationship is to "call it off", you've got some serious work to do regarding your communication and problem solving skills in your relationships.
I know I need to change it. I've been doing some reflection and I realize this stems back to 4 years ago. I'm just so afraid of getting hurt, I tell them I'm finished so they don't get the chance to first
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Old 12-07-2016, 02:10 PM
 
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We argue a LOT less than we did when the relationship was new.


We have both learned better ways to "manage" each other. I know Mr Book Lover well enough to know, "I better get home from that Happy Hour by 10pm or he will be irritable." When I was younger, I stayed out later on purpose to show that he wasn't my boss. Silly, I know.


He also knows if we go too long without - ahem- "marital relations", I will get very upset.


If I have an idea that he may not like, we have learned it's better for me to throw the idea out there and say, "DON'T give me an answer right now. Think about it and get back to me tomorrow." His initial reaction to just about anything is "no". If he is given time to think about something, he is more inclined to agree with it.
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