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Statistics show that people tend to marry people close in age
That depends on how you define "close in age." The vast majority are within 10-15 years of each other, but only 13% are within one year, and 1% are over 28 years (!). The average age gap among couples in their early 20's is 2-3 years, but among people in their 40's, it is seven years, which fits with my experience. (Most of my guy friends in their 40's are with women in their 30's.)
I know a woman who divorced in her fifties and she has zero problems finding men to date. There are more men interested in her than vice versa. One time she was angry with her boyfriend and they broke up for a while. She put up a dating profile online and when she woke up the next morning, she had over 30 men respond. It scared her, so she deleted her profile! She dates in her own age group.
Of course online dating women will say its not the quantity but the quality that counts, still I dont get her scared reaction. The more prospects the better. The much better the chance you will find someone who you find a good match. She should be really happy to get that sort of great response to defy the talk of forget about dating past 50 + also the validation boost. All she has to do is pick say 3-5 to go on a date with.
More appealing than they were prior to her comment.
People want to date what they find most appealing. For 18 year old girls that tends to be older men. For 55 year old men that tends to be younger women.
She's trying to make it into a maturity issue, but maturity is irrelevant. it is a purely rational decision, driven by self interest, for both the older man and younger women.
Yup. I see a lot of people on here saying women at 50, etc have no problem dating. I don't see that. I DO see problems. And God forbid if the guy is a couple of years younger. They act like you have the plague. For men, they just want like 10 years younger or something. Just had this guy I know admit that. And he's 43.
I would love to find someone with a few years of my age in either direction. but they all want younger. It's like you become invisible. Funny thing is, I have been told over and over and over that I look much younger. Some of these age snobby guys, I have actually been told I look younger than they actually are.
You know..ive come to realize that you can be the nicest, coolest person, and click on every level with someone. But, they will always look at the most superficial things about you. You must be hot..(cute isn't enough). And for men (older), you must be like 5-10 years younger than them. That's all it seems people care about. Espescially men.
Yup. I see a lot of people on here saying women at 50, etc have no problem dating. I don't see that. I DO see problems. And God forbid if the guy is a couple of years younger. They act like you have the plague. For men, they just want like 10 years younger or something. Just had this guy I know admit that. And he's 43.
I would love to find someone with a few years of my age in either direction. but they all want younger. It's like you become invisible. Funny thing is, I have been told over and over and over that I look much younger. Some of these age snobby guys, I have actually been told I look younger than they actually are.
You know..ive come to realize that you can be the nicest, coolest person, and click on every level with someone. But, they will always look at the most superficial things about you. You must be hot..(cute isn't enough). And for men (older), you must be like 5-10 years younger than them. That's all it seems people care about. Espescially men.
If that was happening to me....I would just stop caring at that point.
It doesn't seem like it's worth stressing or feeling sad over. I wouldn't want to be with anyone I felt was superficial like that anyway. It'd be a relief for me to figure out who they are right then and there than later.
That depends on how you define "close in age." The vast majority are within 10-15 years of each other, but only 13% are within one year, and 1% are over 28 years (!). The average age gap among couples in their early 20's is 2-3 years, but among people in their 40's, it is seven years, which fits with my experience. (Most of my guy friends in their 40's are with women in their 30's.)
Using anonymized data from U.S. users who say they are in relationships, Facebook found that the average age difference in gay couples tends to get bigger the older people get. Those in their early 20s have an average age difference in their relationships of about two to three years, but once people get into their 40s, that average age gap increases to about seven years. The age difference increases for older male-female couples, too (shown in red below), though not by as much.
So if the OP is gay, she has a bit more of a problem in this area. If not, she's looking at five years or less difference or thereabouts as what the average male/female relationship in their 40s seems to be. Not a huge difference and nowhere approaching the 15-20 year claims as far as who men are supposedly looking for and finding when dating.
Five years either way seems doable to me. We met in our 30s but my husband is four years younger than I am. We never notice it.
Yup. I see a lot of people on here saying women at 50, etc have no problem dating. I don't see that. I DO see problems. And God forbid if the guy is a couple of years younger. They act like you have the plague. For men, they just want like 10 years younger or something. Just had this guy I know admit that. And he's 43.
I would love to find someone with a few years of my age in either direction. but they all want younger. It's like you become invisible. Funny thing is, I have been told over and over and over that I look much younger. Some of these age snobby guys, I have actually been told I look younger than they actually are.
You know..ive come to realize that you can be the nicest, coolest person, and click on every level with someone. But, they will always look at the most superficial things about you. You must be hot..(cute isn't enough). And for men (older), you must be like 5-10 years younger than them. That's all it seems people care about. Espescially men.
Sorry, you sound a bit frustrated. I think that there are indeed men out that that don't want much younger women. I'm middle/later 40's and I'm not single, but if I were out there in the dating world I'd much prefer to be with a woman nearer my age and cute is definitely good enough for me. I don't in any way expect the woman I was with to be a super model, but she has to be at least attractive and I think that's fair, women would want to be with a man that was attractive on some level, doesn't have to be a super model stud. I suppose some women would demand it, but in general a woman in her 40's realizes that we tend to lose our looks a bit as we get older. If someone make the effort by dressing nice and tries to stay somewhat in shape than that should be good enough, it is for me at least.
I surely can't be the only guy who thinks this way.
Yup. I see a lot of people on here saying women at 50, etc have no problem dating. I don't see that. I DO see problems. And God forbid if the guy is a couple of years younger. They act like you have the plague. For men, they just want like 10 years younger or something. Just had this guy I know admit that. And he's 43.
I would love to find someone with a few years of my age in either direction. but they all want younger. It's like you become invisible. Funny thing is, I have been told over and over and over that I look much younger. Some of these age snobby guys, I have actually been told I look younger than they actually are.
You know..ive come to realize that you can be the nicest, coolest person, and click on every level with someone. But, they will always look at the most superficial things about you. You must be hot..(cute isn't enough). And for men (older), you must be like 5-10 years younger than them. That's all it seems people care about. Espescially men.
To be honest I go crazy mad for the older woman and a lot of blokes I know are the same
Now I'm 32 my love so not sure whether or not that has a bearing on it but I'm definitely not too keen on 22 year olds and in a relationship I'm most definitely like yourself in wanting around my age.
Sorry, you sound a bit frustrated. I think that there are indeed men out that that don't want much younger women. I'm middle/later 40's and I'm not single, but if I were out there in the dating world I'd much prefer to be with a woman nearer my age and cute is definitely good enough for me. I don't in any way expect the woman I was with to be a super model, but she has to be at least attractive and I think that's fair, women would want to be with a man that was attractive on some level, doesn't have to be a super model stud. I suppose some women would demand it, but in general a woman in her 40's realizes that we tend to lose our looks a bit as we get older. If someone make the effort by dressing nice and tries to stay somewhat in shape than that should be good enough, it is for me at least.
I surely can't be the only guy who thinks this way.
Truthfully, cute is more than good enough for me. I prefer cute to "hot". Well, cute IS hot to me.
Yup. I see a lot of people on here saying women at 50, etc have no problem dating.
I don't see that. I DO see problems.
What I see a LOT here is confusion between "dating" and "relationship building"...
and then mixing up anecdotes from one expectation assuming they're universal to all situations.
Then there are those (mostly women) who don't want to be honest with themselves about whether they are seeking dates
as a means to an end -- to find relationship or whether they are just fine with dating -dinners out, weekends away, etc...
all the romance, etc- as an end in itself. It's OK if you are... just please be honest about it.
As for men for whom 50ish women are appropriate... you'll also find both types.
Some 50ish men are perpetual adolescents who will never change and because these guys do tend to be
'out there' the most it tends to make them appear to be the more prevalent type... but they really are rather few.
It's the 50ish guys who AREN'T out there all the time, the ones going about their lives and doing their hobbies
or too busy with work or spending time with their 20something GROWN kids... that you don't see. FIND them!
The more practical issues with 50ish dating are life stage and commitment conflicts.
My most common conflict are the late in life mothers who at 55 or so still have school age kids at home
and BECAUSE of that tend to not allow themselves to be more serious. They can't be... they don't have the time.
But their profiles advertise them as looking for more and they end up very frustrated by it.
Start by being honest with yourself.
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