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Read her post #53. Because it wasn't all bad until recently he went over the line. Also, read further & you'll see she is planning on changing that.
No, that's far from the truth if you read her posts. She brings up outrageous incidents from years past. He's been pulling this stuff for years. Maybe the OP brushed it off back then, because there were good times, too, IDK. IMO this should have ended years ago.
I think when the OP is out of the situation for a bit she will see just how bizarre and cruel his actions were. Sometimes when you are in the middle of things, you just don't see them clearly.
Honestly, once he know you're leaving I'd secure the hounds. He is sneaky, with a mean streak and I'd be concerned for their safety.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
No, that's far from the truth if you read her posts. She brings up outrageous incidents from years past. He's been pulling this stuff for years. Maybe the OP brushed it off back then, because there were good times, too, IDK. IMO this should have ended years ago.
True, but curiously, I find her advice to be almost always "dump him" no matter the transgression when someone else comes here asking.
True, but curiously, I find her advice to be almost always "dump him" no matter the transgression when someone else comes here asking.
Right?!
It's quite strange.
I just can't explain it. Things have gotten a lot worse over the past 2/3 years. I mean, there were indeed a lot of good times.
But when I think of the times he's done things like this. There aren't that many, but they really stick out.
Even his daughter told me she's learned that that's just Dad, and it made her tougher. But I told her that it isn't normal, that I wasn't raised that way. And she agrees, that it's not normal.
I'm still leaving no matter what.
But if HE suggests therapy, I am going to ask that the whole family go. Because his kids all need it.
I'm not doing anything drastic at this point, because I know the way I portray him here and right now is bringing up all the bad things, because right now they ARE bad.
But there was a time we were in love, for many years, I mean just a few years ago in 2013 we had the best vacation of our lives, spending it in Arizona for 10 days, going to every monument and canyon, every major city, visiting Tombstone (the movie our wedding was themed), etc.
Hell, we were supposed to be going to Vegas this March to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary and he wanted to renew our vows!
So trust me when I say this is coming out of not nowhere exactly, but just...it's thrown me completely for a loop.
Probably belongs in the Psychology forum, but how much of a difference is there in narcissism vs. psychopathy?
There is a difference.
They are both personality disorders that use people for gain, but the simplest way to think of the difference is that a narcissist needs you around to provide an endless supply of affirmation that they are in control and the center of attention.
A psychopath will use you for whatever gain they seek and then move on to another target, eventually cutting all ties without any remorse.
But it's not like that. I am not happy to be giving him The Heisman. I am sad about it.
On the up side, my realtor just got word of a darling 2br/2ba house that is only 10 years old, in a cute neighborhood, that will allow both dogs, and is available in two weeks. It has a huge soaking tub, 2-car garage, and it is an open concept with hardwood floors, gas fireplace, vaulted ceilings, and even a big mudroom with a built-in cubby bench.
It's like it was made for me. It gave me a real boost today because I'd been looking at such depressing places that were far too big or were condos, and I don't want to share a wall with anyone if I can help it.
But it's not like that. I am not happy to be giving him The Heisman. I am sad about it.
On the up side, my realtor just got word of a darling 2br/2ba house that is only 10 years old, in a cute neighborhood, that will allow both dogs, and is available in two weeks. It has a huge soaking tub, 2-car garage, and it is an open concept with hardwood floors, gas fireplace, vaulted ceilings, and even a big mudroom with a built-in cubby bench.
It's like it was made for me. It gave me a real boost today because I'd been looking at such depressing places that were far too big or were condos, and I don't want to share a wall with anyone if I can help it.
OMG, that is a dream place! I can't believe how many remodels these days are eliminating tubs, instead of putting in a big one. Good for you, OP! Sounds like you're on your way to a nice, quietly contented life. Merry Christmas!
But it's not like that. I am not happy to be giving him The Heisman. I am sad about it.
On the up side, my realtor just got word of a darling 2br/2ba house that is only 10 years old, in a cute neighborhood, that will allow both dogs, and is available in two weeks. It has a huge soaking tub, 2-car garage, and it is an open concept with hardwood floors, gas fireplace, vaulted ceilings, and even a big mudroom with a built-in cubby bench.
It's like it was made for me. It gave me a real boost today because I'd been looking at such depressing places that were far too big or were condos, and I don't want to share a wall with anyone if I can help it.
Fantastic!!
Perfect place and perfect timing!
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