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Old 01-30-2017, 11:54 PM
 
4 posts, read 2,421 times
Reputation: 10

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My ex and I had been dating for 4 months, she became distant the last couple weeks. I'm not really sure of the cause, maybe she felt unimportant to me. When she broke up with me, I asked to meet up, but she didn't want to, she said there was no point because she had made up her mind and that she didn't want to be in a long serious relationship. Right after the break up, I went into no contact to become a better person, heal up, and give her space. It had been 10 days of no contact and she messaged me an emoji of a heart, I looked at it, and carried on with my life, I thought maybe it was an accident since our messenger emoji is a heart. She sent another 4 hours later, I thought to myself, maybe bad luck? Finally, before I went to bed she sent me another at 12am . I ignored the messages, 7 days later, then she unfriended me on Facebook. I got so tired of playing these games that I decided to break contact. I messaged her the following:

"Hey, I was watching a soccer game the other day with some friends!
It made me think of how fun watching that football game at ***** was !
If you're wondering if I still care, I indeed still care about you **** *****."

ps: I'm 21, she's 19 if that makes any difference.

Thoughts? I don't plan of messaging her again if she doesn't reply, but I do still care about this girl. I don't know why she keeps screwing with my head.
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Old 01-31-2017, 12:12 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,235 posts, read 108,093,971 times
Reputation: 116201
She's 19, and not ready for a serious relationship.

She also is kind of miffed that you took her break-up seriously and went no contact immediately. She apparently was expecting you to grovel, or something. Continue to ignore, if you don't want to get sucked into more game-playing.
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Old 01-31-2017, 12:50 AM
 
4 posts, read 2,421 times
Reputation: 10
Well, I was expecting for her to at least use words and talk to me about it like a couple. She never gave me closure or told me what was wrong and I wasn't going to keep asking her. I even asked her to talk about it after the breakup, but she said she didn't want to talk about it, which is why I also went into no contact to give her space. She sent me these emojis , I assumed they were breadcrumbs or something, and I felt like she was about to say something, but I guess not.

My best option now is to move on and see if she says anything? I mean groveling wouldn't fix anything and would make me look like a fool. My message made it clear what I felt, obviously I'm still in love with her, but I needed space myself to get myself together, she obviously doesn't understand that I needed time even though she was the dumper, nor did she realize that every she does something, she has been hurting me. First with the emojis, then unfriending me.Now she's even pushing my patience by not viewing my facebook message.
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Old 01-31-2017, 04:09 AM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,969,425 times
Reputation: 15257
Quote:
Originally Posted by phixman View Post
Well, I was expecting for her to at least use words and talk to me about it like a couple. She never gave me closure or told me what was wrong and I wasn't going to keep asking her. I even asked her to talk about it after the breakup, but she said she didn't want to talk about it, which is why I also went into no contact to give her space. She sent me these emojis , I assumed they were breadcrumbs or something, and I felt like she was about to say something, but I guess not.

My best option now is to move on and see if she says anything? I mean groveling wouldn't fix anything and would make me look like a fool. My message made it clear what I felt, obviously I'm still in love with her, but I needed space myself to get myself together, she obviously doesn't understand that I needed time even though she was the dumper, nor did she realize that every she does something, she has been hurting me. First with the emojis, then unfriending me.Now she's even pushing my patience by not viewing my facebook message.
You did the right thing. Groveling is for whimps.

She is young and second guessed her decision.

Keep moving forward.
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Old 01-31-2017, 04:42 AM
 
Location: United States
953 posts, read 844,479 times
Reputation: 2832
The fact that she is 19 is telling in and of itself. For better or worse, we live in a world in which far too many people spend an excessive amount of time on texting and other social media options. Denial is a convenient fallback position for some, but there will never be a substitute for communicating with someone using actual words.

Live by emojis and be prepared to deal with any consequences and potential misunderstandings that will occur.

Last edited by Aura 524; 01-31-2017 at 05:46 AM..
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Old 01-31-2017, 04:56 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,398 posts, read 24,478,233 times
Reputation: 17502
Four months is just a blip. Find other people and activities to fill that space in your mind.
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Old 01-31-2017, 07:01 AM
 
11,558 posts, read 12,066,929 times
Reputation: 17758
Sounds, from your posting, that you're both dealing with ambivalence. One or the other is changing their mind about either moving forward, or the possibility of take up dating again.

Either way, there's nothing productive with that scenario and you could continue with these head games which are a waste of time.
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Old 01-31-2017, 07:32 AM
 
Location: Keosauqua, Iowa
9,614 posts, read 21,292,233 times
Reputation: 13675
Quote:
Originally Posted by phixman View Post
Now she's even pushing my patience by not viewing my facebook message.
Maybe you don't realize this, but when you message someone who isn't a friend on Facebook it often goes to a separate folder and the receiver doesn't get a notification. So you may be blaming her for something that she doesn't even know she did.
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Old 01-31-2017, 08:02 AM
 
4 posts, read 2,421 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aura 524 View Post
Live by emojis and be prepared to deal with any consequences and potential misunderstandings that will occur.
I agree, I don't know how she expected me to know what they meant, and I did't want to start dating because of some emojis because our relationship would have less meaning. Like I said, I was expecting her to act like a grown up and actually tell me what she felt , just like I did, but I guess that was too much for her. At least I'm happy that I let her know how I felt, so I can't say I didn't try, I didn't send her a long message saying how much I missed her, nor begged her, simply reminder her of a good time and told her I still cared, eventually one of these days she will see the message I guess.
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Old 01-31-2017, 08:08 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,509,632 times
Reputation: 29337
Quote:
Originally Posted by phixman View Post
Well, I was expecting for her to at least use words and talk to me about it like a couple. She never gave me closure or told me what was wrong and I wasn't going to keep asking her.
You clearly aren't a couple any longer and she doesn't "owe" you closure. That's something you need to find on your own.
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