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Same here. No woman I'm interested in is gonna friendzone me while she's going with another guy. Have a nice life.
That as well I agree with. But if a woman already has a boyfriend or husband that's her best friend and I feel my friendship is not needed. My number one rule in life is to stay away from women already involved with a man. Nothing good will come of it.
Women, whose entire profile consists of a few flattering photos, and a written description that states: "If you wanna know more, just ask." aren't likely to hear from me. As others have stated, one of the advantages of OLD is looking for potential incompatibilities/deal breakers, (or common interests/beliefs/etc.) before wasting each others' time. I wonder if these women--who put no effort into their profile--get a larger percentage of men who are just interested in hooking up?
I don't put that, but I do fill out other areas, so people can glean my hobbies/interests, which is at least one area they can see if we're compatible...I think the summary or about my life parts are kind of stupid...like you can really sum yourself up in a paragraph? That's where I feel like you should find out yourself, in person. I mean, there's a ton that I could write. But then you could turn someone off with something, whereas if they actually got to know you, as a whole person, not some one-dimensional person on the internet, they might really like you. That's one thing I prefer about in person.
At first I only had one picture, which was a few years old, because I'm not photogenic and don't like taking pictures. But of course people would ask for more pictures, which I didn't get, and kept getting annoyed, so I would put up more...and then people would still ask for more, so I would get even more annoyed, lol. But I obviously wanted to put my best pictures up, figuring that they should just find out in person, since I'm not photogenic (which was true.) But then I finally realized I should put up some that weren't as good...not terrible, just different angles, so people would know what they're getting, lol. But the few people I met and dated off of only 1 pic, all said I was a lot prettier/cuter in person (and that was my best pic!).
I'm not too big on friendships with guys in relationships either due to my own experiences.
Usually the girl has an issue with us being friends, the guy ends up getting a little too comfortable (flirting) with me, or we just drift apart naturally. I don't go out of my way to AVOID them, but I won't go out of my way to be friends with them either. Again those are just MY own personal experiences.
Online dating is the best. With online dating you always know that you will be wearing your best underwear and socks, plus you can use the best shampoo (all over)...before meeting.
I'm not too big on friendships with guys in relationships either due to my own experiences.
Usually the girl has an issue with us being friends, the guy ends up getting a little too comfortable (flirting) with me, or we just drift apart naturally. I don't go out of my way to AVOID them, but I won't go out of my way to be friends with them either. Again those are just MY own personal experiences.
In my case the guy could have an issue with me being friends with his girlfriend or wife. Sure she can be an interesting person but risks far outweigh the reward.
Tinder came out after I left the dating scene. It wouldn't have cared for it because I preferred OKC's user interface and matching algorithm. When it comes to the M:F ratio, this is true for, say, nightclubs and bars, right? Do y'all avoid going to these venues because there's usually more men than women? Or how about sporting events? Most dating venues, apart from school, will likely have more men than women. (Heck, this is true for the meetup groups I've attended. Everyone talks about social activities to meet people, but these activities don't always attract your desired demographic or type)
It seems like what a lot of men don't like is that with dating sites they can't rely on their charisma, cold approach tactics, etc., to attract attention. That certain traits will be overlooked or excused in-person, giving them at least a chance to approach, whereas if specific details are known at the start, women are more likely to exclude on those bases.
A lot of this assumes that people's preferences or criteria is affected by the medium or method of dating. If a woman will only date tall men regardless of where she meets them, the 5'7" dude that ogles her while standing in line at the local coffee shop won't do it for her. Even if he's good-looking, has swagger and charisma, or whatever. Why assume people are more forgiving and less selective in-person? If you're into toned and fit women, and you filter and screen for body type on dating sites, thereby excluding curvy and plus size women, are you suddenly going to offer your digits to curvy or plus size women giving you flirty glances at the local Whole Foods?
The men who claim in-person is the only viable medium, inherently so, have traits or characteristics they think are excluded or filtered out in searches on dating sites. Height and income seem to be the big ones (based on my observations -- some men think this prevents them from any consideration). Because the woman at Whole Foods wouldn't know your profession or salary upon first interaction, so she wouldn't be able to exclude you based on information she doesn't have... yet. This also assumes that once the information is disclosed that she would be more forgiving than had she known your salary from the get-go. If someone has certain criteria, it's unlikely they're going to overlook it because attraction and chemistry. Once more information and details come to light, true interest will be assessed and determined.
To me, it's erroneous to assume all situations and factors are equal. For a 26 year old childless man, dating sites can simply augment his other activities, especially if he has a robust social life and circle, or opportunities to meet people. For a 38 year old divorced father of two, his circumstances may not lend well to in-person meetings due to 1) lack of opportunities, 2) fewer available women in his age range, 3) his social circle is made up of mostly married couples, 4) scheduling issues and other responsibilities.
So, what, he just hopes he runs into an available woman while out running errands, an available woman open to dating a divorced man with children? These are just two factors. It doesn't even account for actual attraction, chemistry and compatibility. This is where dating sites were very useful for the men I typically dated. They did not have the time or energy to occupy or visit spaces where there "might* be single women who meet x, y and z criteria.
For my husband, he met and went out with women he met in-person, at school, through work or through shared activities. And every single one of them were incompatible. While he got attention and dates this way, they were not compatible at all. Dating sites worked best for him because he was able to filter and screen based on specific criteria. He had pretty strict criteria. (if you or others don't, that's fine) I'm just saying, this is what worked best for him, and he fully admits it wasn't puppies, kittens and rainbows. It was still a struggle at times, mostly due to his criteria, not because he didn't get messages or attention. His chances wouldn't have improved if he visited clubs and bars, because he didn't (and doesn't drink), parties (not his thing), etc. The majority of his peers are in their late 30s to mid-upper 40s and married with children. Throw in the fact that he's very introverted and the majority of his activities and interests are male-dominated/centered, well, it narrows his opportunities. (he did meetup activities, pretty much dominated by men and couples)
I recently took down all my online dating profiles. It just wasn't working out the way I perceived it. I was meeting women that weren't all that compatible with me. The last woman I met was 2 weeks ago, and even though we had good conversation, she was still legally married. Granted, they weren't living together anymore, but clearly her and her ex weren't agreeing on the divorce process. I tried to overlook that she not only smoked cigerettes, but she also smoked pot, but everything added together, I just opted to discontinue the service.
Truth be told, I never met a lot of women online who were really compatible with me. I met women who made good friendships, or even an FWB scenario, but just nothing there in the romance department.
I very seldom go out these days, so my love life is completely up to chance now, and honestly, I haven't been this happy in a very long time. Dating stressed me out more than actually making me happy. Likely due to me always ending up being disappointed in the end. This isn't a boo hoo party or anything like that. It was more of accepting the situation for what it is and being open to trying something different. I love good online connection stories, but it just wasn't working for me at all.
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