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I never thought that I'd have to think about this because I have never pursued someone who had a kid. Been on a Tinder frenzy lately and going on some dates. Met this guy who is divorced, and a single father to a 4 year old kid. He's very smart, hardworking, adores his kid, good looking, all around a great guy. But I'm wondering if this is a road I should even go down. What do I need to think about before pursuing this relationship? I'm 24 and he's 30. There are literally a stream of decent guys on Tinder who are single and child free to choose from. I feel like I may be letting go of a potentially good thing if I choose not to date him because of his kid though? (From the looks of it, she's absolutely adorable btw) We went on one date and it was great, chemistry was there and the conversation flowed seamlessly. Just unsure as I've never been in this situation before.
Ps, have been going on some first dates recently, sorry for the annoying threads.
I never thought that I'd have to think about this because I have never pursued someone who had a kid. Been on a Tinder frenzy lately and going on some dates. Met this guy who is divorced, and a single father to a 4 year old kid. He's very smart, hardworking, adores his kid, good looking, all around a great guy. But I'm wondering if this is a road I should even go down. What do I need to think about before pursuing this relationship? I'm 24 and he's 30. There are literally a stream of decent guys on Tinder who are single and child free to choose from. I feel like I may be letting go of a potentially good thing if I choose not to date him because of his kid though? (From the looks of it, she's absolutely adorable btw) We went on one date and it was great, chemistry was there and the conversation flowed seamlessly. Just unsure as I've never been in this situation before.
Ps, have been going on some first dates recently, sorry for the annoying threads.
There's a lot to be said for good, single fathers and mothers in terms of their character. But, yes, if you want to be the only person in his life, you will find that his priorities differ from yours, and then maybe you can also think about re-examining your own priorities.
I never thought that I'd have to think about this because I have never pursued someone who had a kid. Been on a Tinder frenzy lately and going on some dates. Met this guy who is divorced, and a single father to a 4 year old kid. He's very smart, hardworking, adores his kid, good looking, all around a great guy. But I'm wondering if this is a road I should even go down. What do I need to think about before pursuing this relationship? I'm 24 and he's 30. There are literally a stream of decent guys on Tinder who are single and child free to choose from. I feel like I may be letting go of a potentially good thing if I choose not to date him because of his kid though? (From the looks of it, she's absolutely adorable btw) We went on one date and it was great, chemistry was there and the conversation flowed seamlessly. Just unsure as I've never been in this situation before.
Ps, have been going on some first dates recently, sorry for the annoying threads.
If you've got all these doubts beforehand and in your mind then don't date him as it's not fair on all concerned
Of course I understand your fears but you've got to figure it out as soon as for the obvious reason
Last edited by Londoncowboy30; 02-12-2017 at 05:27 AM..
OP, maybe I missed it, but whatever happened to that guy that you were really attracted to and wanted to make a move on?
You are young and have access to all kinds of guys that are unencumbered with children. I've dated guys with children in the past and it is just not for me. You will never be first and sometimes not even second with a guy that has a kid. Rightly so, he has to put his kid first, and be prepared that he might not have the time or money to spend with you because he has to do that for his kid. And the child's mother will be in the picture whether you like it or not.
I have a friend that dated a single father, really fell in love with his kids, and would take them all sorts of places, just her and the kids. After a while, she realized that she and the guy only had two dates by themselves and every other interaction involved the kids, with or without the guy. She got tired of being used as a babysitting service and dumped him. I am not saying that every single father is going to be like that, but would you potentially want to be responsible for entertaining the kid when the dad has visitation? Just some things to think about.
It sounds like you two may be in very different stages of your life. He's an adult who takes his responsibilities seriously. You are just beginning to be an adult -- Neurologists say that a human being's brain hasn't fully developed/matured until about age 25.
There's a lot to be said for good, single fathers and mothers in terms of their character. But, yes, if you want to be the only person in his life, you will find that his priorities differ from yours, and then maybe you can also think about re-examining your own priorities.
This.
At 24 this is something you're really need to consider before getting to involved. While true that childless men may be a better match in some respects, they are not this guy, who has his own unique traits, characteristics, etc. So just because there are other childless men out there doesn't mean they can replace whatever it is you like about this man. It's something to consider. If you were a bit older I wouldn't think much of it, but at 24, it's something that requires introspection before moving forward.
My husband was not at all bothered by my having children. (His previous girlfriend has children as well) However, he was 35, so it's far more common and expected for women (and men) to have children at this age.
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